More Wondering and Self doubt (page 3)

sweetone2377

Vitameatavegamin ~ I can relate somewhat of what you're going through. I'm not sure just what is truth and what isn't, when it comes to WT doctrine. It is confusing. I'm trying to study the Bible and do my own research without WT publications, but it's hard because the influence is still there in my mind. I have to try to be skeptical of everything, which leads to doubts of the actual Bible. I want to believe in God, I want to believe that the Bible is his Word. But I want truth, not lies and deciet. Studying independant of any religious organization is the only suggestion I have for you. If you find some of the WT teachings are truth, then by all means, believe it. But don't believe the teachings that you feel are not truth. I have yet to read Ray Franz's books, but I am looking for them at this current time and would love to get my hands on them. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the task ahead of me. Many trips to the library that just lead to dead ends. Not knowing just where to start or where to go to next to find the answers. But I know that if I keep searching, I will find my truth. And so will you.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~ Matt. 5:6

Vitameatavegamin

Hello all,

I really appreciate everyones thoughts on this. I guess I am " programmed" to think and react a certain way. I always did wonder why JWs were not to read " apostate" Literature. I wondered what there was to hide if we already had the truth. I remember years ago out in service one day, a lady at the door tried to hand my mom a piece of religious lit. and she handed it back to her all the while trying to leave the woman the Watchtower and Awake mags. I thought back then it was kind of strange in way. But i guess if you feel you have the truth, you are not open to any discussion on the matter. It seemed hypocritical in way. The least my mother could have done was take the lit. and throw it away later or something, but she said that even to have it in her hands would be " inviting demons " . Needless to say, the woman at the door would not take the magazines.

I guess I am on a long journey. Where it will end up, I don't know. But I know I am fed up with so much in the org. There is alot of good in it, I will say that, but just as much is not.

The other day, a brother in our cong. was saying that in car groups for service, if there is a baptized brother in the car, he needs to take the lead for service, even if there are older sisters in the car.

This makes no sense to me. If I use MY car in service, as far as I am concerned, I am in charge. I had really never heard this before. How stupid would it look to have a snot nosed young baptized brother in the car giving directions to a group of older more experienced women!

I would never go along with that. I did have a young brother one time in my car trying to tell me which driveways to go into. I hesitated to go to one, and he insisted that I go. Well, stupidly I did and the woman threatened to call the cops if we came back! I was pretty irritated. I should have followed my hunch to begin with. It had no trespassing signs even! That was the last time I allowed anything in my car group to happen. I don't care what man does'nt like it. What is up with all this man-woman stuff with the JWs anyway?? It all seems so ridiculous in this day and age. Women hold professional job positions, management, high ranking poilitcal offices, state governors even! But if your a woman JW, forget being in charge of ANYTHING! ( not that I would want to be), It's just the idea that gets me.

Looking forward to more comments.

Thanks!

Vita

4horsemen

Vita,

Your post compelled me out of lurker mode. Please consider these 2 scriptures that helped me immensely. And think about your own personal experiences in your life.

From the International version...

1John 4:18-21

18.There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19.We love because he first loved us. 20. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

I cannot speak for you, but a majority of my experience regarding my time with WTBS was based on/or derived from FEAR. Not love. Not even peace. Compare how the WTBS motivates behavior versus how Jesus did.

The second scripture has been mentioned by another whose name escapes me(apologies). I first came across it when the Awake! masthead change took place some years back and I resolved to read the entire bible to examine what I had been told, not learned myself. It bears repeating.

Deuteronomy 18: 19-22

19.If anyone does not listen to my words that the prophet speaks in my name, I myself will call him to account. 20. But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, must be put to death. 21. You may say to yourselves, "How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the Lord?" 22. If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take palce or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.

Get a pre 1996 Awake! Vita. Read the masthead. Seems VERY specific regarding times and generations. Now, generations are "generations"

When a major tenet of the prophets words(religion) has been changed/altered/rescinded by the very same prophet, what credibility does he have in view of the above scripture?

Is a provisional prophet still a prophet?

Back into the shadows...

"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -Hitler

JBean

4Horsemen & all: Thank you so much for those scriptures and all of your comments. How true... and 4-H, please don't lurk... come play with us! : )

Vitameata: Welcome aboard... we'll all journey together. You feel just a I do. I was born & raised a JW (actually, still am)... entire family in for generations. So... lots to learn and a lot to yearn for! Let's keep at it together. Thanks for your post... it mirrors what I couldn't put into words!

its_my_life2001ca

I can sympathize with you totally Veg.. as I have the same sentiments.I left about 2 yrs. ago after being in the org. for 30.It did help to read Ray Franz' book and to have the inside information most of us aren't privy to. I too had a hard time reconciling God destroying all other religions when daily I would read of people who dedicated their whole lives to helping others and making great sacrifices. Would not being a witness be justification for their destruction? Could a loving god really do that? I would like to become associated with a group interested in discussing the Bible but not necessarily an organized religion. I won't be taking up any "christian" celebrations such as xmas because my comfort zone doesn't allow me to. To me now, the "truth" is not any one religion but the teaching that we must put faith in Jesus and live by his teachings without the added burden of man made laws similar to what the Pharisees did. I can only hope now that God can read my heart and realize that any decisions I have made, have been done in good conscience.

sweetone2377

V ~ They preach "proverbs, proverbs" about women to make them feel important. Then in actions they put them down to low class participants in the WTS. It is sickening. I was dispised by the Elders in my cong because I could see them as they were and I told them what they were. I did not hold back. When I got married, they DF'd me at first. Then rejoiced at my reinstatement because now I had a "head" to control me. What they did not see coming was that, my DH does not control me, and he never stopped me from trying to think and figure things out on my own. He never told me I was to never "disrespect" a brother in the cong. in that manner, even if I was right. Well, the Elders soon realized their mistake in reinstating me. But I acted before they could, I sent in my letter. All this "I'm better than you because I have a penis" crap is for the borg....not real people. Maybe it's the penis that took the place of where they could've been given a brain. Sorry, I'm not entirely a man hater but I must admit, there are some really f**ked up ones out there and sifting through them gets tiring.

Sorry for ranting and getting off topic. Guess I felt the need to vent, yet again. And will continue to work on my self-control. (Where the hell did that come from? oh, I remember, one of those "back room" meetings I was involved in ... lol)

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~ Matt. 5:6

Vitameatavegamin

Thanks for all the encouragement! I really have some good food for thought. I hope eventually I can get to the point where I can feel comfortable again. Please keep posting on this topic, I can't get enough of it!!!

Thanks so much,

Vita

Trotafox

Hi, Vitameat:
First of all, the WTS is NOT God's organization. You must understand that. God would not choose or create an organization to use that had an occult beginning (Jehovah living on the star Halcyon?? Pyramids ???, etc. etc.) Their doctrine is twisted. Their Bible is twisted. Get a new Bible. ABSOLUTELY read Ray Franz' "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom". The sooner the better. He's excellent. Keep us posted.

Trot

Vitameatavegamin

Have a question;

Where in the bible does it predict that God would have a visible organization here on earth? Always curious about that. Where do the Witnesses get this info about being the only true religion??

Thanks!!

Vita

Yerusalyim

Vita,

They have to be the only true Religion because they say they are. God's organization here on earth wouldn't lie, would they? We know they are God's organization here on earth because they are the only true religion.

YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

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