I cant believe that families still shun disfellowshiped ones, depending on the reason, if of course the disfellowshiped person hates and is putting everyone else down for their beliefs that is a reason you wouldn't want them around. But to shun them because they choose not to be a JW and is still the same person without the tag, then they need to learn about Christ's love.
For those who've settled on 'no contact' with their JW families . . .
by Madame Quixote 34 Replies latest social family
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Madame Quixote
I cant believe that families still shun disfellowshiped ones, depending on the reason, if of course the disfellowshiped person hates and is putting everyone else down for their beliefs that is a reason you wouldn't want them around. But to shun them because they choose not to be a JW and is still the same person without the tag, then they need to learn about Christ's love.
I wonder if you realize that you are contradicting yourself there, timmycat, because Christ's love includes loving your enemies?
So what's Christian about shunning someone who disagrees with your beliefs, even if the person hates you or does put you down? True Christians wouldn't shun anyone for that, but would rather love them and turn the other cheek; Jehovah's Witnesses don't do that; instead they judge, gossip, blame, and shun all who disagree with them, and they blame the person being shunned rather than recognizing that their own behavior is unChristian, as you attempted to say, (although you still contradicted yourself in saying it). And why wouldn't the person being so ill-treated speak against it? Because they might be characterized by their unloving family as "hating" them and "putting them down" for arguing and fighting against wrong policies and dehumanizing behaviours? Probably. -
cab1000
This thread is very timely. My wife was just crying this morning because her niece is having a high school graduation party today, and of course, we are not invited. Her brother will only talk to her about business, and that's about it. No invitation. No nothing. No surprise. We heard about it through her parents, who are half in the org.
We knew what we were getting into, but that does not help take the sting out of it all. They think that they are helping us by shunning, so that we see the "right" course. All they are really helping us see is how awful the witnesses can be.
I just hate it so much. But, what can we do? I say nothing. Like it's been said, living a good clean life outside the org is the best "anti" witness. They would never hear anything that contradicts what they have been programmed. It is so sad. So sad.
My kids will hardly know their cousins, just as I never knew mine. Funny, because in my early years, Mom was shunning our "worldly" family, so I never knew most of my real family. Now, since I am "worldly", my kids will not know their cousins in the "truth". What goes around comes around, eh?
No easy answers.
You are not alone.
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Madame Quixote
That is sad, cab. Tell your wife I am sorry and know how she feels. I have missed out on almost every major event in my siblings' and nephews' lives.
It is very, very hard dealing with the loss of hope for reaching one's neices and nephews. You know they are being brainwashed and living the same or similar kind of hell to what you grew up with and feel that no matter what you do, it's a catch 22.
I too have shed tears over them. All I can do is hope that one day they will see how unloving the organization really is and recognize it's a cult and find some better alternatives. Hopefully, they will want to reach out to me if that happens. And even if it doesn't, I hope they will find freedom and happiness one day.
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aquagirl
my gawd!!!!thats like exactly the conversation that ive have w/family members for years!!!they like their little catch phrases,dont they?
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Sunspot
Gary Buss said: I don't look good with an olive branch shoved up my a$$. Plus it's getting crowded up there with three there now. I'm done. This is the way it'll all end. Everybody's got what they want. I don't think my life would be any better with more rejections. I think I've got enough for one lifetime.
I have to agree with this.....there is just so much anyone CAN do to smoothe the breeches with these people...and STILL be kicked in the teeth for your efforts. I had written long and heartfelt letters (snail-mail) explaining that I still was the same person and had the same likes and dislikes, and still loved God, etc but wished only to peacefully leave the WTS. I did this twice.....and at the urging of a nonJW cousin....wrote once more to one family member who she thought "might be coming around" to my position. It didn't produce any results but more hareful and venomous talk concerning my "intentionally leaving Jehovah"....so it is safe to say---I AM DONE!
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reneef
Some of us have just decided not to participate in any more of these hot/cold scenes. These people are choosing to act like this. These same circular conversations get sickening. Some of us choose not to be abused.
Life is short and good. Hang around positive people and be happy.
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Open mind
Keep some love open in your heart, but do what you need to keep your sanity.
Open Mind
(you have a PM)
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ariana
You should always stay close to your family if you are a christian or not.What ever you think you know about them you never really know unless you yourself enter the kingdom Hall and find out what they teach.There is much to learn there and your experience will be a pleasant one from every single person they all will greet you in gladness that you were not afraid to find out the truth. So many people hate them and they have been so helpful to me my entire life. If it was not for them i would've had a hard time dealing with the death of my sons farther and because of them alot of things make sense and so much love is invovled, they learn this, by knowing him, how he feels about things , what hurts him and what displeases him jehovah and his endless love that he has for the good and the bad.Jehovah qualities are love is his dymanite quailty, justice, wisdom, and power all of which he posses to great extent.Lets not judge until we can see the whole picture
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ariana
I feel everyone is responsible for themselves as individuals so no matter what religion we are we can fall short simply because we are imperfect which is why we must fight to be faithful.We should not be discourage because our family disowned us they might refuse to see what we see and learn the truth but as witnesses we have an obligation to put our loving farther first in our lives because he created all things and because of his will we exsist so he has the wright to decide whats best for us whether we think it is wrong in jehovahs eyes he knows what we want more than we know since he himself designed us, who could know better than him?