Kicker is they never even had sexual intercourse!!~!!! WTF????
Unfortunately, breast fondling and the like is still considered pornea. I went before a JC when I was about 20 for it, so I found out the hard way. The Elders on the committee were actually laughing and carrying on while they grilled me and tried to trip me up so they could pin the thing on me. (It was both of us, actually) Making out can be nearly as bad as sex before marriage to the great bullies council.
I like the comment someone made about the double standard. Child molesting is okay if no one saw it, but kids who confess to making out is condemned. What a joke.
Anyway, times like this, it's hard to sit back and watch this kind of stuff happen. I feel it everyday with my wife and in-laws who are still loyal Witnesses. What a waste. Yet they surely say the same about me. I would probably have DA'd myself or deliberately done something to get DFed just so I could laugh in the Elder's faces when they tried to haul me in front of a committee, but I avoided it just because of my in-laws. Yet I find that I like them less with each passing year. The day may come when it isn't worth it. I'd still take DFing over taking orders any day, though.
It's especially hard when my wife starts talking about the meeting or criticizing some other religious group. I can't really pounce too hard on stuff like that or it'll just divide us. But I can't sit there and say nothing, either. So I mildly point out the obvious hypocrisy of her comments, then we both drop the subject after she pouts for a bit. That's about all I can do. The reality is that her faith in the WT isn't based on any sort of reason, so reason will never change her mind. I don't mean to suggest this is true of all religious believers, but in her case, the WT is a crutch. She can barely walk with it under one arm and her family under the other. Both of them have made her dependent on them for their own selfish ends. I used to be 3rd best, but now she sees what her family has done. So we're tied for 2nd, which is an improvement--the Society is still #1. She won't apply the same scrutiny to the WTS. She probably never will, so this may never change.
Like I said. What a waste--for both of us. But you have to resign yourself to the fact that there's only so much you can do. Try too hard and you actually run the risk of making it worse. It's hard to know what to do, and it's hard doing nothing.
You are not alone.
IsaacJ
