the fact that questions he was asking were going unanswered
If only more of us would be up front and make that move to leave according to an "informed decision" then maybe people would start asking "what's going on?" - it needs to be strong ones in the congregation though, those that we all look up to,
I know of one elder that did try it this way, it didn't really impact the congo the way he expected. Because he and his wife ( both in their 60s had been in borg almost all their lives ) had been extremely faithful, she did not leave the borg, so when he left all her bestest best friends of many many years accused her of every kind of horrible ( even x rated ) behaviour imaginable, saying that it must be all her fault and that she must have pushed him away. Please note that this was done at a DC, several would approach her as a group at different times and with different people, I was sitting directly in front of her, they totally ignored me, I felt like a National Geographic of a piranha attack was unfolding before my eyes.
This fantasy gossip about her completely overshadowed anything he said about why he left.
Never underestimate the power of the gossip engine when any of the "strong ones" leave. Ya know " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
Love and Laughter,
Lunamoth