No more fiendish punishment could be devised

by slimboyfat 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  slimboyfat

  No more fiendish punishment could be devised, if such a thing were physically possible, than that one should be turned loose in society and remain absolutely unnoticed by all the members thereof. If no one turned around when we entered, answered when we spoke, or minded what we did, but if every person we met ‘cut us dead’ and acted as if we were nonexistent things, a kind of rage and impotent despair would before long well up in us, from which the cruelest bodily torture would be a relief. - William James, The Principles of Psychology

  Slim
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  trevor

  A very good quote. The difference in being shunned by Jws, is that we have chosen to remove ourselves from their way of life or society.

  We have REAL society to move in and make friends. We can only be hurt by JW shunning for as long as we continue to place value on them or the society they belong to.

  trev
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  gaiagirl

  In the book "Clan Of The Cave Bear", a orphaned Cro-Magnon woman named Ayla is raised by a tribe of Neanderthals. When someone seriously breaks one of their rules, they punish them by pronouncing them "dead" and completely ignoring them. Many who are punished in this way begin to see themselves as dead, and die for real. I found it very perceptive of the author to show how, mmmm, "unevolved" the practice of "shunning" really is.
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  Bonnie_Clyde

  We can only be hurt by JW shunning for as long as we continue to place value on them or the society they belong to.

  I still place value on my daughter even though she shuns me (I"m not even DF'd), and it hurts. I pray every day that some how, some way, she will see the light. If she ever does, it will have to be a crushing experience and I'd hate to see that too.

  The whole thing is fiendish!
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  Bonnie_Clyde

  We can only be hurt by JW shunning for as long as we continue to place value on them or the society they belong to.

  I still place value on my daughter even though she shuns me (I"m not even DF'd), and it hurts. I pray every day that some how, some way, she will see the light. If she ever does, it will have to be a crushing experience and I'd hate to see that too.

  The whole thing is fiendish!
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  slimboyfat

  The difference in being shunned by Jws, is that we have chosen to remove ourselves from their way of life or society.

  Yet there are some on the board who have been disfellowshipped without rejecting the Witnesses or their way of life. Sometimes people fall victim to a particular committee.

  We have REAL society to move in and make friends. We can only be hurt by JW shunning for as long as we continue to place value on them or the society they belong to.

  I value many Witnesses as people, even though they believe and do things I don't agree with any more. It is easy to tolerate things we agree with or do not think are harmful. It takes real tolerance to accept the right of others to believe things we think are both wrong and harmful.

  Slim
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  mouthy

  The difference in being shunned by Jws, is that we have chosen to remove ourselves from their way of life or society.

  We have REAL society to move in and make friends

  I have to disagree with that statement. They kicked me out intact!!!!Believing it was still the truth. Just because I admitted I didnt believe Jesus came invisably in 1914. I felt I couldnt go into the wicked world, that Jehovah had kicked me off the ARK, I was suicidel, alone, frightened, felt I must be the Judas of my century... So if you left on your own merit Good for you I wasnt that clever
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  trevor

  I appreciate the comments that have been made regarding what I said.

  I did leave by choice - but whether we intended to leave or were thrown out for speaking our minds when we had been warned to keep quiet, we still made the choice to give ourselves permission to question. We then made the decision to rebel against the tyranny of the Watchtower. Or we may have committed some other offence that we knew was forbidden in their society.

  I say again - For as long as we place value on family that shun us we will hurt, miss them and want things to be different. The pain stops when we realize that they have no longer have any value to us. They once had huge value but have now become worthless.

  Would we really want to spend our free time after a weeks work with people who hold such negative thoughts, about us and the world, in their heads? Understanding that we have changed and moved on to another place in life that they can not join us in is the first step.

  Admitting that we don't want them to join us in their present state of mind is the next step. Then we welcome the fact that they stay away from us and allow us to make new friends and succeed in that new place. Moving on has to be done totally to half move on is to be caught in the in between.

  I have been told by my family that if there is a change in Watchtower policy, they may one day be able to see me again. I have told them that if they remain in their discredited religion I am not prepared to associate with them. Having yet another change of policy will not be enough for me to consider them worthwhile people to spend my time with.
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  poppers

  Where does the pain of shunning exist? In the mind only. Why does it exist? Because of the beliefs attached to the meaning of shunning. See those beliefs within oneself as only thoughts and the structure which gives support to the beliefs (ego) begins to crumble and the pain begins to dissolve. See those beliefs as thoughts within others and you begin to see those people as "actors" performing from a script which itself is unreal, unaware that they themselves are in a role which is not seen through. Then those people can be seen in a more compassionate way.
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  Numinous

  I do like to use the word "quit" in reference to my leaving. When you understand the consequences of a choice and do it anyway, it is your decision, and yes, I didn't want those people in my life anymore. They were angry at me because they felt I chose my life over helping them with theirs. I no longer participated in the "pity party"....the religion where the more you suffer, the better chance you have of making it.