Nearly went into a gospel hall today

ninja

I still have a belief in God and through advice from an ex-witness in another part of the country by e-mail decided to try a local gospel hall...mostly for company as ALL my ex-friends are JW.s and my whole social framework has collapsed since I started questioning....I drove up to it and was going to go in...what stopped me though was I don't really know the procedure at the hall and didn't want to stand out like a sore thumb..plus the usual ex-witness trepidation of doing am I doing the right thing...what should I do?...I have to tread carefully as my wife and family are still in the truman show....awaiting your advice and/or sarcasm....(ninja puts his hard hat on..enters the trench..)...ok guys and gals ...shoot

fifi40

Ninja............you always sound like the best type of church for you is those with pumps and barrels and some questionable name like the The Three Legged Cat.................

But seriously not long after I was d/fed a nice born again christian couple tried to adopt me and I actually went to church with them one time...........it was all very nice........if not a little bit weird to my tame newly d/fed ex JW ears.............a few of them kept calling out and waving their arms about type thing.........in fact a lot like being in the pub without the alcohol............but they were all extremely friendly and welcoming.............bit too familiar for my liking.................anyway after that I kinda gave up on attending religious services.......dont think I want a religion..........although I do find churches lovely, interesting and peaceful, when there is nobody else in them.....................

If your curious...............rest assured they wont kill you.............

Feefster

Sad emo

Here's an idea for you - did the Gospel hall have a board outside with the pastor's contact details on? Perhaps you could phone him and arrange to meet and talk through your worries, fears etc.

Above all, don't force yourself or rush into anything you're not comfortable about - remember, God's timing, not yours!

Best wishes for your journey

jgnat

...what stopped me though was I don't really know the procedure at the hall and didn't want to stand out like a sore thumb..plus the usual ex-witness trepidation of doing am I doing the right thing...what should I do?...

Cute, ninja. Anyone would be hesitant to walk in on a strange group. What are they like? Will they accept me? Will I trip on the carpet and fall flat on my face?

It's easier to meet someone outside of the meeting and ask them to bring you along. They can then guide you through the ropes and allay any fears. Here's a few tips when visiting a new church.

Your manner of dress is likely no big deal.
If an evangelist type invites you to a further bible study, baptism, whatever, there are no strings attached and no consequences if you decline. Just say 'no'.
Every church has it's differences regarding the partaking of the bread and the wine. Many do it monthly, and their exceptions on who can partake varies. Some allow visitors to partake. Some say only if you have accepted Jesus' sacrifice. Some have only members of the congregation to partake. So listen carefully to the pastor's instructions. If in doubt, just pass it on by. You at least have practiced that.
The passing of the plate. No-one is watching and there is no obligation to put anything in.
Zeal in worship. The level of emotion can be as stiff as a Kingdom hall right up to open weeping and dancing in the aisles. Again, no-one will judge if you simply watch. When I visit a Catholic or Anglican church, I do what they do (kneel and stand, kneel and stand) I don't have the genuflect down, so I don't do it.

I find JW's have the worst time feeling pressured to perform when members invite them to greater participation. I can't emphasize enough that the invitations are not veiled obligations. There is absolutely no consequence if you decline.

carla

Jgnat's right. Don't sweat it! You can go and not participate in anything, you can even remain sitting when others stand if you want. I was brought up Protestant and was told I should not make the sign of the cross if visiting a Catholic church, also not to partake in communion at other churches until you are familiar with that church and some want you to contact the minister first. Though I think that would be a long time for you to attempt communion! You can go without worry, most people are not watching what others are doing or are unconcerned. Except for that mother who thinks her kid will stop wailing any minute but never does!

bernadette

Hi ninja

I put my head round the door of a unitarian church a few weeks ago picked up some leaflets that were by the door and then bolted.

Then also attended a church service for my sis's wedding. The vicar was very down to earth - wore a plain shirt casual trousers and sandals. What struck me was that he seemed very genuine, he'd taken the time to get to know my sis and her b'friend (they'd recently moved to the area and are athiests but wanted to get married in a church).

The unitarian church also welcomed both believers and athiests and upcoming events included talks by a shaman, a sufi and a female healer with a spiritual healing session afterwards.

So it seems church services are very different from what they were in the past and also from jwism.

best wishes

bernadette

Bumble Bee

Going to church for the first time can be scary! The first time I went it was to a friends church, so atleast I had somebody there I knew. It wasn't really as bad as I thought. There are greeters at each door, and I'm sure if you told them this was your first time there, they'd help you and explain things to you if you want. There are also attendants that are more than willing to help, and usually a counter somewhere for "newbies" that you can go to and ask questions.

The best thing to do is just watch what everybody else does.

Usually they have "worship singing", then a break where you are encouraged to mingle and meet other people there. Then the service starts.

If the "plate" is passed - don't worry or feel obligated to contribute. If communion is passed, you don't have to partake either, although nobody will give you funny or disapproving looks if you do.

I tried church several times, just to see what it was like. I realize now that I don't feel a need in my life for it, but everbody is different.

BB

truthsearcher

As has been noted, there is a wide variance in the churches--all depending on their particular historical roots (other than the Catholic churches which are fairly uniform, I believe).

The gospel hall is a part of the Plymouth Brethren movement, which was a reaction against the Church of England--has some similarities to the JWs in terms of calling their building a hall not a church, being elder run (although usually locally governed). That means no pastor per say, but sometimes they will have a "full-time worker" or "teaching elder". I can see why you might have had this suggested to you. However, there can be some peculiarities in the Halls, too, and I hate to say it, but some of the Brethren are "exclusive" which means they are rather cultic in their thinking and behaviour. Not all are so I cannot say what the Hall is like that you are considering. It is often helpful before attending a service anywhere to try and talk to someone first before going. It also gives you a familiar face or name among all the new faces.

I encourage you on your desire to explore a relationship with God outside the organization. You will find it to unlike what you were told at the KH. Remember, Jesus taught about a relationship not a membership. Keep reading your Bible and see what that is all about!

nvrgnbk

I was just invited to a "born-again" church this week.

I respectfully declined, but was impressed by the kindness and sincerity of the individual.

I don't plan on attending anytime soon.

Note to ninja: I can't believe a lad with your wit and personality needs to attend a church to make friends. It takes time. Keep putting yourself out there.

Nvr

Hortensia

go ahead and go in. Tell the first person who looks at you that you are new there, just curious, and don't know the procedure. Ask what you should do and someone will tell you. When I first got out I checked out a lot of churches out of curiosity - went to all kinds of churches including a buddhist ceremony, and the metropolitan community church. I was nervous at first but got relaxed after a while. Finally decided I just don't like religion and quit going, but it was an interesting experience.

Nearly went into a gospel hall today

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