My Update

R.F.

Hello all.

As some of you know recently i've realized the importance of really examining the JWs yet i'm still a part of it(MS, reg pioneer). Well I have as of late put alot more time into bible reading(with different translation) with a more open mind without the Watchtower blinders and it has been very refreshing to me. The more I read about first century Christianity and the message they preached the more I realize just how off the the WT really is. I haven't felt this great in a long time! However I still need to talk to my fiancee about my doubts and I don't think our relationship will look too good after that. Recently she said that she will always love me, but if I "quit serving Jehovah" that she couldn't continue our relationship.

Well either way I'll keep you posted.

undercover

Congratulations on losing the WT blinders and being able to read and come to your own conclusions. Sounds like you're on your way to freedom from the constraints of the WT religion.

You mention that your JW girlfriend will probably break off you relationship if you "quit serving Jehovah". Even though she professes to still love you, it's obvious that her love for her God is stronger than for you. Of course to a JW, that's a good thing because they're taught to be that way. But if she's willing to break it off because you can't or won't worship the same, then, as harsh as this may sound, you're better off in the long run.

Life could be pretty miserable being married to an active JW who would either constantly hound you to return or look down upon you as evil and doomed for death any day now.

Good luck as things progress and do keep us posted.

sinis

Hello all.
As some of you know recently i've realized the importance of really examining the JWs yet i'm still a part of it(MS, reg pioneer). Well I have as of late put alot more time into bible reading(with different translation) with a more open mind without the Watchtower blinders and it has been very refreshing to me. The more I read about first century Christianity and the message they preached the more I realize just how off the the WT really is. I haven't felt this great in a long time! However I still need to talk to my fiancee about my doubts and I don't think our relationship will look too good after that. Recently she said that she will always love me, but if I "quit serving Jehovah" that she couldn't continue our relationship.
Well either way I'll keep you posted.

I applaud you for looking at different sources. I would encourage you to look at sources outside of the "bible" realm. Especially concerning first century christians and its establishment. Christanity is not what you think, nor does history paint a favorable picture. Free your mind...

Don't tie your life up with the JW's for a woman! It is not worth it and you will eventually regret your decision. Since you have doubts now, they will eventually fester and your relationship, though some do make it, will more than likely end in misery.

ex-nj-jw

Congrats on being able to start thinking for yourself. You will feel good at first, but don't be surprized if you suddenly become angry, it's natural!!

If you fiance loves this org more than you, then maybe it's better before you marry then after!!!

Good luck and keep us posted.

nj

Warlock

R.F.

Isn't it interesting when you read the Bible and find discrepancies between what it contains and what we were taught, right away the individual you are trying to talk to about it, sides with the Org. and not the Bible? I have had the same problem. How can anyone claim the Bible as their authority and yet deny it when it contradicts what they teach or have been taught?

Warlock

unique1

Congratulations. Reading the bible without the blinders even if it is the NWT is still a WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE!! I wish you the best with your fiancee.

theinfamousone

congrats on opening your eyes... that is extremely commendable and i am sincerely proud of you! now on to the fiancee talk, i hate to say this, but if she is willing to leave you over religion, then well, shes not worth it... im sure shes wonderful, but what happens when there are other problems? will she be leaving you at that point? you need to speak to her about it, its only fair... give her a chance

the infamous one

Honesty

However I still need to talk to my fiancee about my doubts and I don't think our relationship will look too good after that. Recently she said that she will always love me, but if I "quit serving Jehovah" that she couldn't continue our relationship.

Run. Run, RUN

My 10 year marriage fell apart when I 'LEFT Jehovah"

Save yourself a lot of emotional pain and unload her on the congregation.

Let them deal with her since that is where her loyalty lies.

Say that you realised before it was too late that you were not made for each other and only have her happiness in mind.

That'll keep the Gestapo at bay until you get things figured out.

Bumble Bee

Good for you for looking into the WT teachings!

I wish I had some encouraging advice etc in regards to your fiancee.

You are going to have to decide where your new knowledge about things is going to take you.

Can you stay in this religion knowing what you know, just to keep your fiancee?

It will be very difficult for you. Once you have figured out what/where you want to go with your life - you owe it to yourself and to her to be up front with her and let her know.

There may be some painful decisions made, by each of you, but believe me - it is better to do this BEFORE getting married.

BB

OnTheWayOut

Don't tie your life up with the JW's for a woman! It is not worth it and you will eventually regret your decision.

I second that emotion.

If you are having doubts, best to deal with that. One thing taught in the organization is that it is wrong
to yoke two completely different burden animals together. If you are carrying doubt, why enter into a
marriage with someone carrying the burden of guilt for not marrying someone stronger in the organization.
Settle your doubt, let her move on. You will both be happier, later, regardless of whether she leaves the
organization. You are at different stages in your own internal struggles.

Be straight up with her. You can avoid DF and DA if you want to, but tell her you have doubts and need
to set her free.

I am like many here. I had doubts while my wife stayed loyal to the WTS. We are doing better than most
in this situation, but it's a terrible burden on both of us. We must endure it, because we were both
loyal JW's at one point, happy to share our lives together. It's for better or worse, and we will try. Still, many
here will testify that the JW spouse turned spy or wanted a divorce simply for the fact that the other left
the organization. They think you are involved in dirty "worldly" stuff. They never completely trust you. If you
think they will spy, you never completely trust them. Why enter that if you are only engaged? I think the
point is settled anyway by her reply.

My Update

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