After reading about Dawg's" lay it on the line" latter, I decided to do the same. I never been one for keeping my thoughts to myself, so it was about time. If you get time, take a look, (it's a bit long).
j
Hello Everyone,
I’m unsure where to start here, so I’m just going to preface this by telling you all that you are the recipients of this letter because you all mean a great deal to me, and I love you all very much. The proceeding paragraphs, will no doubt cause mixed emotions, and I’m quite positive, a mixed reaction of how you perceive me. All I can say, at this point, is that I’ve always been honest with all of you, and that honesty continues to this very day. Honesty is not always easy, and trust me, I would much rather take the easy way out and not have to write this letter. I can no longer keep silent at this point, as I’ve watched too many people’s lives ruined over time. It would be irresponsible, at this point, for me to do anything less.
As many of you already know, I no longer attend meetings at any Kingdom Hall. Because of this, I haven’t had much communication with most of you. That’s my fault, as I really didn’t know how to break that news to all, but a few of you. So now, I’m coming clean with that, officially. What you probably do not understand is, why?
I’ll start, by saying that life has some funny and indirect ways of teaching us lessons. We are being taught things every day, without even realizing it, and this affects our decision making. For me, the break –up of my first marriage proved to be that eye-opener over the months that followed. I have to say, it was really the judicial committee, specifically, that made me realize something was wrong here. Without going into detail, let’s just say that I was able to figure out that "holy spirit" wasn’t exactly the driving force behind the arrangement.
Needless to say, I began to see things quite differently, from that point on. I began to make decisions that, by nature, I felt benefitted me. I wasn’t necessarily aware of it consciously, at the time, but my thinking had changed, and it reflected itself by my actions. I started doing small things in terms of taking care of myself, making sure a had a savings account, buying some nice clothes to wear to meetings, and work, etc. The type of stuff that Jason normally had the tendency to overlook. A little aside, losing one’s "privileges", i.e. commenting at the meeting, (under reproof), allows for a very different perspective of actually hearing the counsel offered at the meeting. When one isn’t so busy trying to formulate a comment for participation, they actually get to listen to the instruction much more clearly, (and critically).
It wasn’t long before I found myself becoming quite annoyed at the obviously out-of-touch position that was often communicated off the platform, on all sorts of subjects, particularly those dealing with family and marriage issues. This led to only more independent thinking. That, in turn, led to further decisions made, that really only went contrary to the society’s counsel. Yep, you can see this one coming…Dating.
After a few un-noteworthy examples, I met Jeanne in November of 2005. I wouldn’t be mentioning her, if this didn’t work out exceedingly well, (she would just be another un-noteworthy). After not too long, (about three months), I began to notice something strange. I was happy, for the first time in my life.
I thought to myself, "how could this be",? I mean, I’m not talking about short term happiness here. I was 33 at the time, and what I’m actually saying is that for 33 years, I was never this happy. No, better yet, I was never happy period, until now. Why?
I really didn’t know the answer to that question. You see, although emotionally, I was drained, (from a Jehovah’s Witness standpoint), and not really "with it", mentally, I still had very strong beliefs in the organization. I still considered myself a Jehovah’s Witness and intended someday to fix this supposed mess I thought I had created over the last few months. What still didn’t make sense though, why was I happy now, when I’m supposedly not doing the right thing? It didn’t make sense. It was painfully obvious to me, that previously I was never a happy person. Really, I was on anti-depressants for the previous four years. Now, here I am doing what I ought not to, (which I still more or less believed at the time), and I’m suddenly happy for the first time in my life, (and off the meds), what gives? I thought that true happiness only comes from serving Jehovah, (i.e. the organization).
Most if this, really, I figured out on my own. There were always things throughout the years of my association that never made any sense to me. Reporting field service time, requirements for being "visible" in the field service, (I didn’t know we could become "invisible"), too much stress placed on all sorts of petty things, such as beards, where and how much one works, wearing a jacket on a 95 degree day at the assembly, the list really is endless here. The bigger issues that concerned me had to do with what was considered "exemplary" by witness standards. If one commented well at the meetings, gave good talks, maintained the monthly field service average, one basically qualified as an "exemplary" person. I certainly won’t list names here, (you can all think of your own examples, I’m sure of it), but one could be a complete jerk as a human being, and be a superstar from the society’s perspective using these qualifiers. This, while all the time, the truly good people can’t rate because of less than perfect speaking ability, field service success, father not an elder, whatever. I can hardly think of a better term for this nonsense, than "Pharisaical". Real love is almost never the reason for anything, (from an organizational standpoint; individuals, are usually VERY loving), keeping up appearances is usually the order of the day.
Ever the pragmatist, I wasn’t satisfied with what I could clearly see was a disconnect from the concept of the "spiritual paradise", we were taught exists in the organization. I spent most of the last year and a half researching, (yes, I did find a moment to get married, again, in between), the history, science, and philosophy of what we call "Jehovah’s Organization". I will spend the next few paragraphs sharing with you some very few examples of what I discovered. Keep in mind, these barely scratch the surface. I will include the sources for the information provided, to the best of my ability, so you can verify the information for yourselves. Please also keep in mind, none of these things within themselves, have to be a problem for someone with faith. I fully admit to loosing mine because of the above mentioned issues, NOT those below. I merely see these points as proof that I wasn’t too far off in my sensing that something was wrong here.
1. Chronology. This was never my favorite subject, and I think most would agree with me on that point. However, it is extremely important to any Jehovah’s Witness. It DOES matter. The calculation for 1914 marking the end of the "Gentile Times" is a pivotal year in the Society’s history. Their entire timetable is affected by this date as its starting point, including the 1918 derision of Christ’s inspection of the "Christian" congregations, and his ultimate choosing of the International Bible Students and the subsequent "cleansing" that took place concerning that group, thereafter.
Basically, the society makes a calculation using 607 BCE, as a starting point, (the supposed destruction of Jerusalem), and then counts 2,520 years from there, landing them in the year 1914, (if you make allowance for no 0 year). Interestingly, the society USED to teach that 606 was the date, and hence made the calculation to 1914 using a zero year. When the society was made aware that there was no zero year, they conveniently changed the date to 607, to make things fit.
This is not our problem, however. The real issue is this, history simply does not agree with the 607 BCE date for Jerusalem’s destruction. The destruction of Jerusalem, and its temple, is actually one of the better accounted for happenings of pre-Roman history. Historians place the date for this destruction at 586/587 BCE. Both astronomical, (absolute), and consequential Babylonian data agree with the 586/587 date. Literally thousands of business records, and other written testimony from Babylon have been unearthed to prove the 587 date. Nothing exists to prove 607. It’s really that simple. The society is actually well aware of this. 607, was derived from interpreting a scripture in Jeremiah that speaks of 70 years of desolation for Jerusalem. An endpoint of 537 BCE is said to be "more reliable" year according to the society. Hence if you count backwards 70 years, you end up at 607.
The problem is, the society provides no evidence for why 537 is a "more reliable" year, than 587, to use as a known historical reference point. The evidence for 587 as a reference point, as I said, is one of the better documented pieces of history of the era. I couldn’t possibly cite all of the information here, but it is exhaustive. See the book The Gentile Times Reconsidered by Carl Olof Jonsson. This is a good starting point, but even Googleing Jerusalem destruction will yield more than ample information on this.
Why does the society not fine tune their understanding on this point, in spite of all of the known evidence? It’s simple. They cannot afford to. Certain things can’t change, and this is one of them. If 607 is proven false, then 1914 is wrong. If 1914 is wrong, then any date based on it, (such as the 3 ½ years counted to calculating 1918), is wrong. The society suddenly looses their self proclaimed position.
2. Failed dates. The average Jehovah’s Witness has no idea of just how many there actually were. All of them, would be correct, and not an overstatement. 1874, 1878, 1881, 1914, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, and yes, 1975, just to name a few. These dates all had significance at one point, -Then lost their significance. Just like the 1995 "generation" change understanding, time proved the society wrong here, NOT some new heavenly understanding of matters. Actually, 1874 was the original date the Society used as the starting point for Christ’s rule, with 1878 as the year for Christ’s inspection. This was taught all the way until the 1940s! Long after 1914 folks…Read any of the older publications to prove this. Modern witnesses really have no idea of this stuff, and quite frankly, the Proclaimers book, really whitewashes this history. There is good reason the society doesn’t want you reading the older pubs. Too many questions would be raised.
3. UN/NGO involvement. I fully understand what the society intended to do here, that is not why I question this. What I question is why they attempt to hide this from the average witness. A little background here: In 1991, the society registered with the UN as a NGO, or Non Government Organization. Among other things one of the requirements for an NGO is to "…uphold the Charter of the UN by education…,etc", as well as "to provide support…including that of the UN’s military efforts", (as mentioned in the Charter), that’s paraphrased somewhat, admittedly, I’m working off memory here. This was discovered in 2001, and written up in the London newspaper, The Guardian. Shortly after the writing, (it was literally a day or two), the society quietly withdrew their membership. When questioned by the media, the society provided this statement, "…in 1991 the UN changed its requirements for the use of its library,…one needed to be registered as an NGO in order to use it". Fair enough. However, the requirements for an NGO are quite clear, and can be verified on their website. Did the society not understand this? Also, why be so secretive about it, and quietly withdraw after a newspaper write up? This type of secrecy amounts to a form of dishonesty in my book. WARNING: This is a VERY delicate subject, and people have been disfellowshipped for pushing this too far. Don’t bring it up in the hall, unless you are prepared for the consequences. This is mentioned on the UN’s website, here is the link: http://www.un.org/dpi/ngosection/pdfs/watchtower.pdf. Here is a link to the UN’s charter: http://www.un.org/aboutun/charter/
I’ve decided to stop here. There are too many things to cover, and this is supposed to be a friendly letter. I can assure you, the organization is not all it claims to be. It has its own issues, (just different ones), from other faiths. The trap we’ve all been caught in, is that we all fell for the few things the society got right, (and it DOES get some things right), and then traded in our thinking ability, to support the rest of the stuff. I can no longer do that.
The next question you will certainly have, (as I have been asked by the few of you aware of my situation), is what are you going to believe now? Since, I’m officially out of the business of telling others what to believe, (I now know there is a huge difference between "believing" something and "knowing" something), I’ll end this letter with a basic illustration: If you ran a business, and had a reliable employee, yes one you depended on, perhaps even to the point, where you realized that your business may suffer, somewhat without him/her, and you discovered one day that this employee was stealing from you, what would you do? The answer is obvious. Hence, knowing what NOT to believe, (firing the person), is of far greater import, than knowing what TO believe, (finding a replacement). For now, I’ve had my fill of organized religion.
I don’t know if any of you have even read this far, if you did, I thank you. I truly felt I owed this explanation to each and every one of you, as I stated at the outset, you all mean a great deal to me, and that won’t change, regardless of how you may react to this letter. Please feel free to contact me if you want to, as I would love to hear from you. My contact information is as follows: 5807 Riverfront Dr. Palmyra, NJ 08065 Ph:856-786-4263, Cell: 951-259-3656. Email:[email protected]
Love,
Jason