Desperate and unable to forget (page 2)

Shadowland

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it's been a while since there has been anyone i can talk to who understands, i was in tears reading your replies.

my sister and i see each other occassionally but i always feel reserved, i care about her, but i feel like anything could destroy the tenuous relationship we have at the moment and i can't be open with her. and i love my partner, but he has issues of his own and can get pretty self-absorbed. i sometimes feel that it's all just too hard, that it would be easier to just shut off emotionally and not deal with anything. i'm trying to stay positive and focussed on the good parts of my life, but it's not easy when you're fighting 20 years of negativity and guilt. i just feel so trapped and have nowhere to go (thanks to not being able to have friends growing up - my family didn't seem to understand that just because i was the same age as people in the cong, didn't mean i could relate to them, or had anything in common with them), and feel really alone.

Crumpet

and feel really alone.

You are really not alone anymore. The bonds of friendship here can make it extremely overwhelming when you compare what you had before to this. It grows and grows. The more you put in the more you get out. Come here for yourself and to learn. But come here to help other people. Its so rewarding. And honestly it will dispell 20 years of negativity much faster than it took for them to accumulate.

Everything you want to vent, question or assert - you can here. Be prepared to argue and learn what you really think inside, through the arguments you have. Be ready for deeply caring consolation. And above all keep your mind open and NOT mentally regulated.

Shadowlands - you are so welcome (and not just cos I like that movie!!!)

bernadette

i'm trying to stay positive and focussed on the good parts of my life, but it's not easy when you're fighting 20 years of negativity and guilt. i just feel so trapped and have nowhere to go (thanks to not being able to have friends growing up -

Keep on coming here and telling us how you feel. Also wonder if there are xjw meetups in your area - that may be something to look into.

I'm quite trapped in my situation too - I find spending time with nature helps a lot.

bernadette

nvrgnbk

Unconditional love to you sister!

{{{{{{{{{{Shadowland}}}}}}}}}}

I feel your pain.

Handsome Dan

First Shadow pat yourself on the back for leaving this disingenuous and corrupt religion, the personal damage to individuals in and out of this cult is very apparent,

it's better to breath fresh clean air rather one that has been polluted, many of us ex-ers have realized that. There has been many sad stories like your friend's unfortunately that have come

forward even in my own personal area, so I know of your despair. If it looks like a skunk. smells like a skunk it probably is a skunk ! Now that you have walked into the fresh air, you now have

the opportunity for personal self improvement and intellectual growth, something that most religions will deny you, like the jws. Yes it does take some adjusting to establish a new

identity for yourself but it will eventually come nevertheless, but keep in mind that the new you is going to be a better you, so be happy in that thought. Never demean yourself or

discredit your personal character with I'm just a lowly evil worldly, the stupid labeling that jws. give people who are not in their family.

Keep in mind that true righteousness and peace can never be obtained through the ignorant one. There are many things that will bring personal injury to oneself, religion is just happens to be

one of them........keep smiling your on the right track........all the best.............HD.

J-ex-W

Wow!! That's a lot to be dealing with, and something I think many of the posters here can relate to... Welcome to the forum--it's a great place and a great start for healing!!

Quandry

Welcome to the forum.

We'd all like to forget a lot of things, but we're intelligent people with good memories. That's why this forum exists... to help when the memories become overwhelming.

You'll find a listening ear here.

poppers

Welcome to the board, Shadow. You are among friends here, many of which can identity with the things you have expressed. You will find unconditional acceptance here as well as a safe place to rant whenever you feel the need.

compound complex

Dear Shadow,

Welcome to the board and condolences to you and on behalf of your poor friend. Whether it's 20 years for you or 40-plus years for many of us here, our individual pain is just that - our own, unique to us alone. Yet, in so many ways, it is shared. As so beautifully expressed by Crumpet, getting better and beginning to help others flee the lie will give you new reasons to grow and truly live.
As JWs we were taught to reach out and teach others the WT version of the Good News and, as a result, find joy and fulfillment. The reason it didn't really help us or those we spoke to in a lasting and meaningful way is because it's a false hope, an unreality. Now you'll learn the value of correct information and critical thinking as a gauge for comparison and contrast.
Come here often - daily, if possible - and do as all your new-found friends have suggested. Feel free, finally, to express yourself without fear or guilt.

Love,

CoCo

Desperate and unable to forget

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