My childhoods were spent obeyeing my fathers rules when I wasn't obeying the watchtowers. There was never any family vacations unless you wanna call sitting in bleechers dressed in a full suit and tie a vacation. Doing well at school, despite all the witness crap was a given. I had no freinds. There was always work to do as I grew up on a farm.
I don't know why, but from the youngest ages I can remember digging trenches for stone walls. I'm talking 6 and seven years old. No help from adults just enforcement. Digging wells by hand with my brothers. I can remember my dad taking us out of school to do this in gr. 6. My brother had a shortened shovel and the other brother would be lifting the bucket of hard clay while I would haul it to the back of the property. We dug several wells this way. One 31 feet in one day. I mean 6:00am to 3:00am lowering a trouble light to see my poor brother at the bottom.
We also dug septic systems one of which I was physically thrown in when I was a kid. One day while my dad was at work, he ordered me to to dig a trench about 50 yards and in places over 8 ft. in depth. I was only 13 years old. He wanted a 1 inch drop every 10 feet so the water could drain from the basement. I remember it being extremely hot out and working hard all day only to be thrown in the hole because it was off by a couple of inches. We got paid for nothing.
One day i remeber him waking us up at 3:00am and demanding we dig up his septic system. We had to string out trouble lights in the feild and dig through weeds and sewage.
I remeber failing in math. I was never good at math. He made me take summer school, and when I got home he made me dig fence post holes in the hot sun in the feild for no apparent fucking reason.
When I hit my teen years, He had me digging a basement by hand while I was school. It took me foour years to accomplish. He gave me 200 dollars for my work. I then bought a car with the small amount of money and then he told me to get it off his property. Years later He made me dig his cottage by hand as well. He left me out in the middle of nowhere by myself for 4 months and this time I got paid, but it was only 2000 dolars.
I didn't have a childhood in more ways than one. It was all punishment oriented and was very depressing with no hope and no understanding. I was an amazing public speaker with a quick wit and he couldn't see me doing anything other than digging holes. It reminds me of the movie Coolhand luke where he has to dig a hole and fill it in and dig it out over and over again for the prison gaurds.
If I wrote all the details of my childhood you simply wouldn't beleive what this man was like.
Then you all wonder, why I'm depressed, why I don't like working, why I never had a sense for money, why I never vacation, why I have a bad back, why I still have no freinds, why I left home. It was more than insanity. It was totaly unbearable. The witnesses were just a fly in the ointment.
I hate the witnesses for having no mercy on me. Everyone turned their backs on me in my darkest hour after all my loyalty to the org. and my father. No wonder I ended up going way off the deep end.
I was raised for a war that never happened.