....and i'm quite scared. For instance, I have found it quite easy to get many JW acquaintances by means of the typical...."hello, what congregation are you from? What are your goals?" Now that i'm on the verge of leaving the org and not going to have the same way of making friends that I have had all my life it worries me a bit. I've never made a friend other than using the formula I just mentioned. I don't have a wide variety of friends but the friends and acquaintances I do have said that they would drop their friends faster than you can blink if the were to ever leave Jehovah(the organization). What do you suggest? I know I will need friends that will be there as I make my exit, but it's pretty scary when I realize that I can't make friends the same way I used to.
I just realized my weakness in my social life.....
by R.F. 11 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
looking_glass
What do you do for work? Do you have any work friends? If not, try and see if you can get to know people thru work. Really, making friends outside of the religion is easy. If you take an interest in other people, this usually opens the door to friendship. I do know that some people say that being a JW has caused them to be socially awkward and thus they are unable to make friends. I think when you put pressure on yourself, then you are sure to fail. Just be who you are. Be genuine. Show an interest in others. If there are social groups, then join them. For example, we have the Chicago Sports and Social and they do volleyball, softball, soccer, flag football, etc. If you have something like this, join it, this will allow you to get to know people outside of your usual sphere.
Good luck. Give yourself time. It is not as hard as it seems.
-
R.F.
I don't want to mention my work here but I will say that I just work with 2 other ppl and they are Witnesses. Im in the process of searching for other work though. But that's an excellent idea of meeting different ones through work. In the past when I have worked with many people I found that "worldly" people aren't bad as the org paints them to be. Hopefully this will work when I find other work.
-
looking_glass
A lot of places do happy hour and people often times will get together after work for a beer (or two). Good luck on the search for new work. Sounds like you have a lot of changes you will be facing in the near future. Change can be fun!
-
neverendingjourney
You'll be able to meet lots of new friends if you go to college. That's where I've met almost all of my current friends. There are even student organizations you can join to meet people that share your interests.
-
Stealth453
You will be suprised how easy it really is to meet people and make new friends. It's just that the watchliars have been telling you how cold and nasty it is on the "outside".
It's not. It is suprisingly warm and friendly.
Good luck.
-
greendawn
You are too apprehensive about establishing contacts with non JWs, once you get to it you will find there are numerous subjects through which to start off a conversation and perhaps a good social relationship. There are many clubs and associations of specific interests or after you leave the JWs you may join another (non cultic) religious group.
-
moshe
Join a club. Hiking club, biking club, sailing club, toastmasters club ( a cinch for a JW), etc.
Volunteer- organizations and charities need volunteers-
Get a part time job that allows you to meet people- like the coffeeshop at a bookstore.
Take dance lessons. Pick a studio that has organized social dances open to the public. I met my present wife just by asking her to dance.
-
Anti-Christ
You will be suprised how easy it really is to meet people and make new friends. It's just that the watchliars have been telling you how cold and nasty it is on the "outside".
It's not. It is suprisingly warm and friendly.
Yea, I was afraid too but just be yourself and you will see it's much easier than you think. The hard part is being yourself. If your like me and was raised in the lie, it takes a wile to know yourself better. I started doing things I always wanted to do but was not "allowed" in the JW. Karate, Jiu-Jitsu, yoga stuff like that. It's a good way to meet people.
-
bebu
When I want to strike up conversation with new people I meet I start with something similar to what you use. I say,
Are you from (my city)? How long have you lived here?
Usually these 2 questions are good enough to get someone talking about a comfortable subject, because people have opinions about where they live (or came from). If people are new to the area I ask, How do you like it here compared to (previous city)?
If people seem relaxed and talkative I continue with asking what they do, do they have family in this area, etc.
Of course, getting involved with home projects, community projects, hobbies and such, will help you meet folks who you can more easily connect with (having similar interests).
And of course, you can ask everyone to dance, just like Moshe suggests.
bebu