The Story of Minimus

by minimus 116 Replies latest jw friends

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  aSphereisnotaCircle

  My ex husband had been an elder also. At 24, only a few weeks after being appointed, he had to deal with two cases where each were DFed. Within days of his cousin's hearing, his cousin hung himself in a deer blind. The other waited a whole two weeks before killing himself. That one was an elder's son from a different congregation. Almost all of the elders in our congregation had gone to help on a hall build and left my husband behind to back up any problems that should come up. Of course I didn't know that he was on his judicial committee until a few nights before he left here never to return. He was sitting in the dark in the front room drinking till he was throwing up and it was everything he could do to tell me how this affected him. I do wonder how many other elders out there are suffering way deep down in their souls about a decision that was made in a hearing.

  Numi, your story brought me to tears. Just when I think I've heard it all, I learn a new way the society has ruined lives, I am beyond furious!

  If you can, I would like to hear more about your ex, what became of him, is he still a JW?
• 

  WTWizard

  It's certainly a lot better on this board. At least here you will not have to be a jerk and pretend to be something else. And they wonder why they are losing their cream of the crop.
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  unique1

  PO at 27???? WOW that is quite impressive.
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  minimus

  Thanks Tyrone for your comments. I do feel that we ALL were misled at one point or another. When you're raised "in the Truth", it's all you know, all you're taught to excel in.

  This board does give me the opportunity to warn people about the dangers of being a JW and I like to use the opportunity to get persons to think about things. JWs DON'T think about things. They just do what they're told. They take the course of least resistance.
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  minimus

  Thank you all for your comments and pms. Regarding those people we, as elders, affected---- when I look back, I see that when I was first appointed all I was a "Society man". I did believe that if "Mother" told us to do something----even if we didn't see the fair reasons to comply, we didn't know best. But "Mother" did. So many times I had to rationalize that "maybe Jehovah will make things clearer for me". In the meantime, I shouldn't question, just follow instructions. Our Congregation Servant was a strict by the book man. If he liked you, he loved you. Fortunately, for me and my family, we were very much appreciated in the Hall. My family brought many in the "Truth".

  10 years or so later, another Congregation Servant was made due to illness in the family and he was a former Branch Servant and was the number 1 man in the district. He was 100% a "Society man". I learned under his tutelage. Eventually, the elder arrangement came in, our huge congregation spilt and I was given many additional responsibilities. As soon as I got out of high school, it was "expected" that I regular pioneer. And that's what I did, keeping the family tradition.

  When you look at things, you can see it's easy to be conditioned to just do whatever you're told. Since we have no "worldly" aka "normal" aspirations, what else are we supposed to do? We are encouraged to "reach out" for greater "privileges" of service.

  So, I wouldn't get tooooooo angry over how elders might be. They're as screwed up as everyone else is.
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  Gayle

  Sure enjoyed you and other ex-elders sharing their experience. I think someone here said it was brought out at an "elder meeting/school" (whatever it is called now) that elders have dropped 30+% in 12 years. Many step out due to "health" but I wonder how many step out due to a "crises of conscience" actually. Many tho could still be in "JW Limbo."
• 

  DannyHaszard
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  minimus

  My reason for "stepping aside" was because I couldn't do justice to my responsibilities in the Hall and run my business and care for my familie's needs. The CO didn't want me to resign so he asked if I'd consider staying on as an elder minus being Secretary. And he said, they'd give me a break from JCs too. When I told him that I just couldn't give things the justice they deserve, he actually cried. 2 weeks later I was announced as no longer being an elder. The PO asked me to close with prayer. I did and eventually, I used "work" as a basis to begin missing more and more meetings. I continued going to meetings off and on (purposely) and when summertime came, I altogether stopped. Many or most of the elders miss then too because of vacations so it was a perfect opportunity. When COs visit my mom, they tell her to remain hopeful because i might be like the prodigal son and return....Yeah, right.
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  aniron

  I was "groomed" to be an elder so that by the time I was 24, I had already sat on judicial committees while a MS.

  How come as an MS you sat on judicial committees?

  If there wasn't enough Elders and they only need three, they are supposed to call in one from another congregation.

  You also said that you "audited the accounts" what I take to be the "Accounts Servant"

  Then later you say you were never accounts or service overseer. I do not recall there ever being an "accounts overseer" it was always left to the "Accounts Servant" who would read the accounts report out at the Service Meeting each month. Which then would be put on the notice board countersigned by the PO.

  Did they do things different were you were?
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  minimus

  In the beginning of the elder arrangement The Society allowed for "qualified" MS's to sit on judicial cases if the congregation was shorthanded on elders and the MS was elder material. When other congregations were also shorthanded (esp. under this new arrangement) other area elders were not always available.

  Regarding auditing the accounts, now the Presiding Overseer does the auditing of the books or he picks a qualified person to review the Accounts Servant's work.

  That's the way it works. In case you didn't know.