How did you feel when first posting on JWD? (page 4)

Open mind

Welcome to the board, Miss 8572!!!!!

BTW, Care to explain your username?

Open Mind

BFD

Oh, and a big fat WELCOME to Miss 8572!

BFD

you all should fell very bad about yourselfs because jehovah has only tried to love us all. all i have read is ignorance, selfishness, and unappreciativeness from you all. you all need to re look at yourselfsand make some changes. instead of putting the blame on jehavah and his organization!!!!!!

B_Deserter

I just posted for the first time today, so the feeling is still fresh in my mind. Like most of you, I am scared shitless. No, I don't believe that the society is "watching" me. My experience being raised as a Witness was not nearly as traumatic as others. However, even though I have admitted to myself that I don't believe in God, I still *fear* God immensely, and not in the "good" sense either. I feel guilty I don't believe the doctrines anymore, even though I *know* it's all bunk. I think the main reason is when my family finds out, they're going to be devastated. It does not feel good causing so much anguish to others. I bought "The God Delusion" today at a book store. I was so nervous I was shaking in my shoes. I could barely work up the courage to ask the store employee where it was (oddly enough, it was in the "Judaism" section.....yeah, figure that one out!). That good ol' "Apostate" label is going to probably be applied to me, even though I have absolutely no plans to try and de-convert any witnesses I know. What a shutteringly scary label that is! Apostates are the ultimate evil, forged hand in hand with Satan himself. I can remember how they would talk about Apostates from the stage, how *I* would talk about Apostates. Now, I'm going to be considered one of them.

Tyrone van leyen

I wasn't worried or nervous. Rather, I was very defensive that people wouldn't accept me, the same the Witnesses did. After I proved my authenticity, and saw peoples response ,I cried twice in front of my computer by myself. I felt I had finally been accepted and could feel peoples genuine concern. I NEVER CRY> It's been a long road. Thank you folks, for your love.

R.F.

you all should fell very bad about yourselfs because jehovah has only tried to love us all. all i have read is ignorance, selfishness, and unappreciativeness from you all. you all need to re look at yourselfsand make some changes. instead of putting the blame on jehavah and his organization!!!!!! An obvious joke???

neverendingjourney

A joke? I doubt it. Remember, as JWs we were all thoroughly indoctrinated to believe that apostates are all demon-possessed, selfish, self-righteous, evil doers. Don't listen to them! They only tell lies and distort the "truth."

JWs and their sympathizers often come to boards like this one and feel their faith threatened by what they are reading. They lash out in response. I used to buy into the hype a few years ago. "Apostate? Why they are all a bunch of liars" so I thought. Hopefully these folks stick around and read some of the posts on here so they can open their eyes to what's really going on. My opinion is that most don't. However, later on down the line when they are tired of being let down by "Jehovah's organization" they might think back to what they saw here and realize that there was truth to what was being said all along. That's my $.02.

choosing life

I was scared to death of getting caught, but couldn't help being drawn into the conversation. I was constantly looking out for some of my family to catch me. Stressful at times.

I was also paranoid that I would be recognized or traced in some electronic way. I am not too computer saavy. I actually did get caught, but not turned in by a family member.

I still am careful what I post, as I am afraid of someone recognizing me. We have these super detective elders in the congregation who like to spy on people to try and catch them at something. I wouldn't put it past them to read this board or others in their zealous conquests.

I'm afraid I am hooked now. Not too many days go by that I don't end up here. I tend to get irritable when I don't get my time alone to spend here.

Hortensia

I had been out of the org. for a long time when I came across the forum while looking for something else entirely. I was excited to find folks who could understand where I was coming from - I jumped right in. It is interesting to see how the dialogue changes from day to day, who the leaders are, what seems to matter to everyone. I don't care what the WTBTS thinks of me - they can go play with each other in the highway for all I care. I just want to say to jehovahslover "ummmmm smooooch smoooch smooooch come give me some sugar. Clearly you need some special attention. Let me sit right next to you and pat you on your arm and see how much I can creep you out before you scream and run."

How did you feel when first posting on JWD?