((((Codeblue)))) - I wish he would stop shunning you honey. I know how it hurts for you. He sounds like he is a smart kid though, so perhaps you wont have to wait too long.
When money goes missing... what do you do?
by Scully 27 Replies latest social family
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JH
It,s hard to give advice when I occasionally did the same.....
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misanthropic
I thought this thread read, "When mommy goes missing... what do you do?". I thought you had an escape plan or something.
One of them is protesting mightily at the "unfairness" of this decision. The other one didn't say anything. The one protesting is pleading to just take her $20 but let the other one have her $20 (get this) "because she already owes me $20". Then she says how I'm somehow "profiting" from denying both of them their allowance, because I'll be keeping $40 instead of getting $20 back. I countered with "Yes, but I'd rather have the $20 back and I'd much prefer to be able to trust my own kids around my money. That would be worth more money than anyone could ever steal from me." The lady doth protest too much methinks.
The other one could have remained quiet because maybe she knows she didn't take it, so it had to be the other one. Maybe she didn't want to add to the situation. It does seem that the one protesting so much might have something bothering her a little bit IMO. Hopefully whichever one did it will come foreword before 4 o'clock. Tough situation, I wouldn't like to feel I had to lock my things up either. -
ninja
I hate it when I lose a £20 note...I have nothing to light my cigar with
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Xena
I think you handled it really well. Hopefully the money will be put back and the guilty party learns a lesson.
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codeblue
Thanks for your kind words Crumpet. It has been a source of major depression for me.
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Stealth453
Been there, done that, and it damned near gave me a stroke.
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lonelysheep
As a teenager, for a time, I stole from my dad's cash/coin stash. My brother knew and didn't say anything. It stopped when he figured out money was missing and we were both punished.
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rebel8
I'm south of your border. Come visit and shop and I'll give ya the $20. :)
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bikerchic
I I don't want to wrongly accuse anyone, but I don't want the one who took the money to get away with it either. I informed them this morning of my findings, and that although I couldn't identify who did it, unfortunately both of them would have to lose their $20 CDN allowance at the end of the week and all the social stuff they had wanted to plan for the weekend - including a sleepover for one of them. I gave them until 4 pm today to produce the $20US - just put it on my desk anonymously - no questions asked - and the punishment would go away.
A true delima Scully. If it were me I would absolutely want to know who the thief is and put that one on notice that they are not to be trusted, not by you their father or their siblings. Then they would have to earn back the trust of the family. Out in the open you know what and whom you are dealing with, left to anonymously put back the money and you are doing her/him an injustice and I also think it's unfair to the one who didn't steal to suffer the punishment. I wouldn't hold back punishment for the guilty one, it doesn't teach them the consequences of stealing just on getting caught they will become trickier and I bet this isn't the first offense just the first time you positively could tell something was missing.
I know I'm not going to see that $20US bill again. It makes me angry that I have to lock up my "mad money" in a safe. I shouldn't have to do that in my own home around my own flesh and blood.
So how do you guys handle things like this? I know it's a teen thing to try to get away with stuff like this, but there has to be an effective way of teaching them that it's a HUGE violation of family trust to steal from your mother or father or siblings, and that a family needs to be able to trust all of its members.
Sorry to say but until that teen earns your trust back you are going to have to lock up your valuables and the only way for them to learn just how huge a violation of family trust it is is to involve the family in the whole thing. Don't make it easy for them to just put the money back and everything goes back to normal. You wouldn't absolutely know which kid did it and that's not fair to the one who didn't do it. I mean really why be good if you get blamed for the wrongs of others?
my .02.