CHALLENGE - Write WT article DF'ing Jehovah for lying to them on dates

UnConfused

Some of you are such talented writers....

Imagine a WT article full of loaded language describing first how NO ONE is above Truth and Justice and that even if JEHOVAH were to fail in that area, action would have to be taken.

Then a quick breakdown on how Jehovah has failed to come through on HIS promises - concerning date prophesies. Putting the poor Society in a tough position looking like false prophets etc. -- that it's hampering the work. That the work is more important than even the creator of the work....the work has to continue and even if it means shedding anyone (aka Jehovah) who hampers the work.

Finally a tactful but firm policy to the friends about how their prayers should no longer be directed toward Jehovah and how the Society has no other choice but to take over direction of the work without Jehovah.

......can any of you savvy writers want to codify this?

Mary

Ahem.....I'll give it a shot when I get home.........I gotta go out now (on vacation today...wahoooo!).

brinjen

I'll have a go..... (not to be taken seriously!)

Brothers and sisters. In this time of the end, when armageddon is so close it is more important than ever that we keep on the watch for the truth. The worldwide preaching work must continue, we need to also be viligant in keeping out wrongdoers. No one is above the Governing Body, the Governing Body is truth and justice. Any threat to truth and justice must be weeded out in order to protect the flock. Our work is more important than ever, we cannot allow weeds to continue to grow amongst our wheat. As we get closer, the weeds are maturing and easier to distinguish. We recently found ourselves in a position where we needed to engage in some serious weeding out which had to be done to protect our wheat. We received new light that made it plain to us what we thought was wheat was a weed. Which brings us to making this sad announcement.

We regret to inform you Jehovah is no longer a member of the group formerly known as the Jehovah's Witnesses. This decision was not made lightly, however, we cannot allow such a liar to continue to infect our flock. He delibrately gave us the wrong light, when we thought it was getting brighter, it was in reality getting dimmer. He has mislead us to believe the end was coming (to find that it didn't) so many times we can no longer afford to continue to privately reproof him. Our donations are down, he refused to testify on our behalf recently when we experienced persecution for our two witness rule. Our donations are down, he has allowed an internet discussion site for apostates known as JWD to continue. Our donations are down, he allows individuals to continue to distribute reading material which mocks us and encourages 'free thinking'. Our donations are down, he failed to support us with our application to the UN. On top of all this, our donations are down.

We also have severe concerns over his parenting skills. Yes, his son allowed himself to be murdered for us, however that is no excuse for the skirts, hair, beard and not owning a 4 door car. He forgave a prostitute rather than shunning her, which he knows he should have done. Despite our repeated requests, he continues to refuse to discipline his son. He has also failed to submit a field ministry report and won't commit himself by the way of baptism. Our donations are down.

As Jehovah is no longer a member, we feel obliged to inform you that any association with him will result in reproval. This includes even mentioning his name. You are no longer to pray to him, call on him or acknowledge him in any way. He is no longer one of us. Instead, you are to pray to us, the Governing Body. You call upon us, the Governing Body to be saved. You seek enlightenment from us, the Governing Body. You give your life savings to us, the Governing Body. We shall be distributing a new bible for you to study, read it daily you shall be quizzed at armaegeddon.

So, you may find yourself now wondering, "is armageddon still coming?". We are happy to inform you, it is. We will be dealing with that at a date yet to be decided. We will not tell you when that day is as we feel this is in the best interests of you, our flock. In the meantime, we neeed to be vigil in spreading the name of the Governing Body's Witnesses. We need as many pioneers as we can get, our Bethels need more volunteers than ever as we have myriads upon myriads of new bibles to distribute. Remember, armaegeddon is still just around the corner, we will be receiving weekly reports from your elders, anyone not putting in the required hours, rebels against the elders or encourages free thinking will be destroyed. In line with our recent events, the Memorial will no longer be celebrated as this is honouring the creator, instead of the created. Birthday celebrations are still banned however as they can lead to excessive drinking as well as immorality.

We look forward to you, our sheep serving us. You shall receive your new bibles shortly, remember to study these vigiliy, as if your life depended on it as it does.

UnConfused

LOL LOL - I'm laughing OUT LOUD. Good stuff!

AlmostAtheist

Anything this drastic's gotta come in letter form!

To All Congregations:

The Bible reminds us that we are a "theatrical spectacle", always under the microscope of the world. We must remain ever vigilant to present ourselves as Christians who have fully accepted the "new personality" as exemplified in Christ Jesus. Certainly, this would include being honest in all our dealings.

The Governing Body has carefully considered this fact and has arrived at a saddening conclusion. An honest-hearted examination of Jehovah's dealings with his people shows that he has not been entirely truthful with us. Moreover, he has failed to show any repentance for this, despite having expressed "regret" over other matters, such as the flood. While a full recounting of Jehovah's lies is beyond the scope of this letter, it is felt that a brief list of the more egregious examples would be appropriate:

*) The end did not come in 1914.
*) The end did not come in 1975.
*) The end can no longer be tied to "this generation", since his New Light of 1995.

Now we find that Jehovah is again directing us to a date; 2034. Will we naively accept this date as factual? Or will we, as the Beroeans did, "examine the scriptures carefully" and determine if this date has merit? As Christians, we must follow the Bible's advice and reject Jehovah's latest date prediction.

In view of these lies, the Governing Body feels it has no choice but to expel Jehovah from the organization. This will no doubt cause difficulties for many brothers and sisters, but we have complete assurance that these difficulties will not be insurmountable. As the Bible informs us, 'he will not let you be tested beyond what you can bear'. "He" in this context must be understood to apply to Jesus, as it is now clear that Jehovah is not reliable.

Some may ask, "How will this affect my prayers? Should I still pray to Jehovah?" Clearly, prayers should no longer be directed to this dishonest deity. Rather, your prayers should now be offered directly to Jesus, as our savior and king. Just as the Bible reminds us not to punish sons for their father's acts, so we also must not allow Jehovah's tarnished integrity to sully our view of the Perfect Christ.

Further, it would be inappropriate to continue to refer to the organization with the name of one who is not a fulfiller of promises, so it is with great pleasure that we inform you of our new name: "The Governing Body's Minions"!

It should be noted that while "minion" often carries a negative connotation, the original meaning of the word is simply one who is shown favor; a "darling". In this sense, it is clear that the Governing Body will continue to adore and show favor to those that look to it for direction.

It is our sincere hope that with the Body's blessing, you will continue to serve us and allow us to adore you. Be busy in the work of the Body!

Yours in Christian Service,

The Governing Body

lonelysheep

Shoot, I'll have to do this at home since I'm not the only one in this room I'm working in.

sir82

Corollary: Write one disfellowshipping Jesus.

Actually, should probably be easier, considering he:

-- Wore a beard

-- Was constantly hanging around with 'bad associates'

-- Never turned in a field service report

-- Was severely critical of the leaders of 'God's visible organization', and didn't heed their counsel

-- Provided large amounts of wine to guests at a wedding party who were already quite drunk

-- [Fill in your own]

rebel8

"Write WT article DF'ing Jehovah for lying to them on dates"

The org is dating Jehovah?! I thought it was the bride of Christ.......or something like that. Do they use chaperones when they're on dates?

:-)

blondie

Too bad, you forgot rules #1 and #2.

1) The WTS is never wrong.

2) If the WTS is wrong see #1.

valkyrie

Why stop at the figurehead when considering DF-ing? Why not go straight to the top - as suggested by Nikolai Var (poster "nvar") a few days ago? http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/135494/2415671/post.ashx#2415671

I see that no one took up his challenge/request for collaboration in calling for disfellowshipping of the Governing Body.

-V

CHALLENGE - Write WT article DF'ing Jehovah for lying to them on dates

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