Two JWs showed up at the door

by sass_my_frass 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    ... well, at the driveway actually, I was getting into the car. I recall that when I was out on the preach and people weren't where they were supposed to be (opening the door, surprised to see me, where I can catch them off guard) I didn't start by having complete control of the conversation. These guys came around the corner and saw me and I had a few seconds to calm myself and try to remember what I'd intended to say to the next JW who calls by, and I nearly got all of it.

    One was a lot nicer than the other, and it was the nice guy whose turn it was to do the door. He opened with the usual, in the neighbourhood, offering WT and Awake, have you seen them? I was in a kind and calm mood by then and told him that yes I had. He showed me one with a title re evil, and asked where I think all this evil comes from. I paused and smiled and told him that, actually, my mum became a Jehovahs Witness, and it destroyed our family (that happens to be true). He was a bit puzzled as to where to go next, so I explained that the JWs in our family don't talk to the non-JWs because we are "not good enough to associate with" (I tried to avoid catchphrases, because if I knew their language too well they'd know I had been deeper into it than I was pretending). I said that I think that this is wrong. The nice guy mentioned that his family don't talk to him any more either, I guess he didn't grow up JW. Between them they tried to explain that families just have to learn to live with their differences and I tried to explain that yes I know that, but it's the JWs who don't talk to the witnesses, not the other way around. The meaner guy took on the air of a man who was pretending he hadn't heard it and was indifferent. The nice guy said that he didn't know what to say, and I said "yeah I know. But I really don't want the magazines." He wished me a good day, I did the same to them as they turned around, and I was trying to remember what I want to tell every JW but I was a bit flummoxed. When they'd turned the corner and gone I flipped them off a lot because I felt like venting, and I knew that my neighbour was watching and she knows the whole story. She gave me the thumbs up as I drove off.

    It went well I think, I delivered just that little thought in a way that it will stay with them for a while, because I didn't give them any reason to dismiss it. I wasn't angry or aggressive, just obviously sad about my family and very calm, even pitiful for them. If the nice guy ever has an epiphany about WBTS this will be one of the things that he'll remember. As I drove off I remembered what I should have closed with: "I know that you won't believe me, but it doesn't change the fact that in a few decades you're going to grow old and die. When that's about to happen, are you going to be proud of the way you treated your family?" Damn I wish I'd said that. When I got to the corner I saw that five or six car groups of JWs were pulled up in the park over the road, doing their morning tea thing. They'd probably just left the meeting and these two guys had decided to start counting time before tea break. Sure left them feeling shaken by it. I very nearly pulled over and got the nice guys attention to say that but I chickened out.

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    Sounds like you did a pretty good job. It was the calm things that people said to me in service that I would remember longer.

    The crazy, ranting ones I dismissed as being unhappy and mean people of the world. It wasn't really a doctrinal disagreement either, just an observation of events in your own life.

    I guess you'll have to save the other statement for the next ones. Sounds like a good one too.

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    I agree, sounds like you handled it pretty good. Being calm and getting your point across is always the best way if you want someone to actually hear what you're saying. At least you said what you did and like choosinglife said, there's always "next time" besides practice makes perfect. Just think there may come a time you've had so many witnesses come by and said it so many times you'll just wish they'd just stop coming by...lol

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    You did well. It is nice you have the support of your neighbour too. The support of my work mates has really helped me.

  • bernadette
    bernadette
    It went well I think, I delivered just that little thought in a way that it will stay with them for a while, because I didn't give them any reason to dismiss it.

    good for you

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Well done Sass, keeping calm and not getting into any doctrinal discussions is likely to have more of an effect than ranting and raving. Maybe they will call again, and you will have another opportunity.

  • bluebell
    bluebell

    I may try that rather than my usual "I'm not interested" next time. I always used to switch off when someone would rant that JW's broke up families but that was a really good way of putting it over, and avoiding jargon that would alert them that you were more deeply associated was very good too, cos again it would make them listen more rather than switch off.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    well done honey! You did really well = I remember us talking some months back about how to handle it when they come to the door. Well done!

  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    you did better than you think. i caught what you did. he asked you about EVIL and you turned it into . your feeling that the wt breaking up families was evil. you basically stopped him in his tracks. he was never in this life expecting that answer. just be ready from what you posted you may be a return call soon. they will lose even worse next time they call on you. you got them pegged. john

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    It was good to point out to them that JWs are not good for families they certainly destroyed many when a member decided to leave and the dubs see their non JW relatives as inferrior creatures to be destroyed soon in a war by god against mankind. Not that all non JWs have good family relationships but with that attitude there can never be a basis for a good relationship.

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