Miranda for the fader

by changeling 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • changeling
    changeling

    There 's been a lot said on this board lately about revealing our feelings and doubts to friends, family, and that "reasonable elder". Well, I just wanted to share something with you guys.

    A while back, I had what I thought was an innocent conversation with someone very near and dear to me. All was calm and rational, questions were asked in a spirit of wanting to understand. A couple months later a crisis arose and my words were thrown back in my face and used as weapons against me. The vile and hurtful spirit that prevailed hurt me deeply, and even though things calmed down and seem "normal" now, I no longer feel completely at ease. So for what it's worth, if you are thinking of letting your guard down, remember:

    You have the right to remain SILENT, you do NOT have the right to an attorney, and ANYTHING you say can and WILL be used against you.

    Sad to say, witnesses are programed to defend the organization above all else. "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "honor your father and your mother" mean absolutely nothing to them and do not even come to mind if they feel you are no longer 100% on board with them. Worst of all, they feel their rude, insensitive and disloyal behavior is completly justified, and that it has God's backing.

    Let's not be fooled folks. If what we want is to go "quietly", then let's be "quiet", lest we wake the roaring lions.

    changeling

  • Emma
    Emma

    Well said!

  • seek2find
    seek2find

    I've experianced the same thing many times. I've concluded that their is no way to say anything negative about the organization to those who are 100 percent on board. Everything and anything you say can and will be used against you and will be shot down by the one you are talking to. Loyalty to the organazation is prioty number 1. seek2find

  • R.F.
    R.F.

    I agree NOW.

    If I was a betting man I would bet that my former fiancee ratted me out to an elder about some doubts I have shared with her.

    The was I see it now is, if possible, just stick to confiding in ones already or that have been in the same position.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I could not go quietly - my exit was more of a bang. Probably more fun in the long run, but more expensive in terms of relationships.

    Jeff

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk
    but more expensive in terms of relationships.

    They weren't reality-based bro. Most of them anyway.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Steven Hassan's books are mainly for breaking oneself free from the cults or for an outsider to
    break a loved one free from the cults. Faders are in a special situation where they aren't totally
    free to say what they want, but they also have special knowledge about the cult and they are
    able to (usually) continue communicating to loved ones.

    That said, you need mini-interventions with loved ones. The key is "mini." If you are too straight-
    forward, they can "out" you. It is my personal belief that your very fade is more effective than the
    words you use to help other adults to think clearly. They see that you have started thinking for
    yourself and still can enjoy life. So even if very little is said, you are helping others.
    Children are another story. Your words are very effective. You are training them to question the Borg.

  • unique1
    unique1

    Wow, sorry you experienced that. My only experience with that has been from my own mother. She even spreads rumors about me to this day. Weird how people like to distort things to make you look bad, all in Jehovah's name.

  • unique1
    unique1

    Wow, sorry you experienced that. My only experience with that has been from my own mother. She even spreads rumors about me to this day. Weird how people like to distort things to make you look bad, all in Jehovah's name.

  • unique1
    unique1

    Wow, sorry you experienced that. My only experience with that has been from my own mother. She even spreads rumors about me to this day. Weird how people like to distort things to make you look bad, all in Jehovah's name.

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