Bumped into an old friend of my mothers. Her daughter died in a car crash over 30 years ago. The truth is all she can talk about and seeing her daughter again. But it made me wonder. Do jw's compete the grieving process or are they stopped at not beliving they are not really dead and live there lives out waiting for them to arrive back.
Grieving not complete
by teela(2) 13 Replies latest jw experiences
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Heather
My grandma died just a few weeks ago and my mom and brother were at her house the very same day packing up stuff and going through papers. Same thing.....all she can talk about is that they get to see her soon in the paradise. Mom is is mentally ill (myexplanation). When my dad passed away she took a picture, i think its the cover of the paradise brochure, and she had it changed so that my brother(who died when he was 11 months) and my dads picture were on the front, and it read..."We want to see you in the paradise". Talk about playing off someones feelings......that picture made me so angry...She was trying to guilt me into staying in the truff. Now that my grandma has passed she added her picture to the front along with my dad and brothers picture and made copys for everyone that was at the service at the KH. Anyway, she didn't greive much at all....shes got it in her that she will see her son and her husband and mom-n-law in the new system......and thats just how its gonna be.....nothings gonna sway her because that is how she handles death....they aren't dead...they are sleeping...i get to see them soon in the paradise.....yes its very sad.....but I don't think its the right way to greive.
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theinfamousone
they do not get a chance to grieve properly... they are so brainwashed that they do end up believing that so soon they will be seeing these people again soon... how will they grieve? theyre forced to go back in the ministry and pretend nothing happened... not fair to these easily persuaded people!
the infamous one
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free2think
I remember being told not to view a person's death as the last time you'll see them (new system). I think yhis really messes dubs up because then they don't fully grieve for their loved ones and as a result they can't then move on with their lives.
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AWAKE&WATCHING
As a "not official yet apostate" I don't know if there is anything I can still believe. Right now I am reading CoC and then I hope to examine what the scriptures actually say compared to what I've been brainwashed to believe. I am sure at some point I will have to establish whether there is reason to believe the Bible although I don't think that will change. My son died a little over a year ago. He was developmentally disabled so the paradise was the only hope I had for him even when he was alive. I don't want to lose the hope of the paradise but I am a realist. I never wanted to give up Christmas either. I can't answer your question even to my own satisfaction.
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LeslieV
Healthy grieving is not allowed as a JW. If you grieve the way your are supposed to "you don't have faith in the resurrection." One of the reasons why there are so many Mental Health issues in the borg.
Leslie
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eclipse
It is so sad when a loved one dies, and yes, JW's have a hope that is the carrot that keeps them in...not just the armegeddon fears, but wanting to be reunited with their loved one (who doesn't want to be reunited with a loved one who's passed away?). My family behaves just the same as Heather's family...
Anyway, she didn't greive much at all....shes got it in her that she will see her son and her husband and mom-n-law in the new system......and thats just how its gonna be.....nothings gonna sway her because that is how she handles death....they aren't dead...they are sleeping...i get to see them soon in the paradise.....yes its very sad
they use those exact words...
I believe that we are all connected , in one way shape or form...through the universe, through nature, right down to our molecular structure...we are all made from the same matter, we all return to basic materials...but part of me believes that something within us goes on to something greater....maybe it's a crutch for me...Am I unable to accept that all we do is become dust?...but there's that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe....we go on...call me crazy.
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startingover
I continue to grieve for my parents who died 3 weeks apart a year ago. I have been told by JW's that it's hard for me because I don't have any hope. I don't agree. I have no expectation of ever seeing them again, but that does not bother me as much as the sadness that they lived their lives sometimes giving up things for a religion and now their life is over.
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SnakesInTheTower
Sheesh ... this thread hits hard.
I always told everyone, especially after losing "privileges" or something else bad happening that there were three things I thought were truly important, in this order:
1) Jehovah's sovereignty vindicated. 2.) Jehovah's name made known. 3) and getting to see my dad in the Paradise.
I guess that's all fuc*ed up now, eh? The first 2 are pure WT Bull8h*t and the third is a WT fantasy to avoid accepting death and go through grieving.
No wonder I am getting the hell out.... I am starting another thread.... (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/136148/1.ashx)
I have to tell you about a serious conversation I had with a non-JW friend....
SnakesInTheTower (of the "sad but realistic" Sheep Class)
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Marcel
this topic bothers me too.
seeing the truth about the truuf is devastating. its not only that you lose your family and friends... no, no, no. your whole view of the world collaps. what can you believe? you suddenly feel that youve never learned to cope with death! what if you never see your loved ones again? never?! cruel... ive never learned to live with that. its a hard lesson to see this possibility.
actually i hope the bible IS right and its gods word. its a tough problem. i dont feel like going out searching for other religions or something. maybe there is NO current "true" religion. or its really a personal relationsship between you and jesus only. if youve been betrayed by a religion its hard to trust again.
i can understand ppl who dont wanna hear anything critic about the WTS... its just too hard to fall out of that dream.
i was thinking about that too. just drop the doubts and return. if its a lie i wont never realize it and until then i would have a hope and i dont have to learn without being wrapped up in pillows.