I'm being hounded again

Frequent_Fader_Miles

My mom's bugging me again about "considering going back to meetings". She's making the age old claim of it being sooo cloooose to the end, but then she backtracked, saying that even if it isn't close ... no one knows when they will die. I never wanted to go to meetings in the first place, and just went along for all those years just to please her. Now I'm finally enjoying my life and she's trying to send me on a guilt trip, telling me how much SHE WANTS me to go back since she's helping others to start attending again. What about what I want? I made a conscious decision to stop with the whole charade ... can't she just respect my decision?

MadTiger

There are so many aspects to this.

One that comes immediately to mind is the fact that by attempting to get you go back to the meetings, it helps the other person to alleviate their own misgivings about the so-called Truth.

If it was really the Truth, and Jehovah called those who he wants, why all the guilt trips and foolishness?

38 Years

Have you ever told her some of "truths" you know about the WBTS?

sass_my_frass

It's nearly impossible to maintain a real relationship with somebody when in a situation like this. It's the same with my folks and I - with an added complication in that I'm disfellowshipped and they aren't yet inclined to cut me off completely. I think of it this way; they're my parents, and they're in their sixties now. Mum has always been a bit, let's say emotionally fragile, and Dad does what she wants to make her happy. I figure that they've earned the right to believe whatever they want. I know that it makes them unhappy, but the only thing that my lifestyle offers them is freedom. This is a big deal to me, and something I appreciate, but they're not the type to want it. They wouldn't know what to do with it - they need to be told what to believe in order to be what they consider happy. I don't think that anybody should rock their world. So we're left with this: we barely contact each other, and when we do it's out of a sense of obligation on my part, and their desire to protect the reputation of JWs to their non-JW family. It leaves us with very little material to work with - they can't talk about the only thing in their lives - the meetings, congregation, assemblies etc, because I'm not interested and I have to constantly stop myself from telling them how this or that is wrong. They're not interested in hearing about my life; marriage, study, friends, hobbies, sports, work... and that's all I've got really.

What I want from my folks is that we each make an effort to enjoy each others company in the small amounts of time that we get together. All they want to do is pity themselves for the terrible situation I've put them in.

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Have you ever told her some of "truths" you know about the WBTS?

No I haven't. All I want is to be left alone. She seems quite happy in the 'Borganization' and I'm not keen on doing anything to "rock the boat" as it were since I'm happily faded (not DA or DF). Sometimes I come very close to giving her some true "Revelations" but decided not to in the end.

Carmel

I think you'll find lots of parents just never stop parenting and JW parents have the additional pressure of thinking they have to "save" you from falling off the cliff that leads to distruction, blah, blah, b lah! I often have discussions with my wife to let our kids live their lives as they will without her needing to voice an opion about so many things. She and her sisters are all a little into being in control, so I find myself the lightening rod at times trying to interrupt the process. I don't give my advise unless requested.. and that ain't too often! carmel

misanthropic

What about what I want? I made a conscious decision to stop with the whole charade ... can't she just respect my decision?

Those are some of the things I've asked myself about my parents. You have to realize that if they are "still in and believe", then most likely they're very afraid that the end will come and you won't be there. At least that's what I've told myself. It's hard when they can't accept that your choices in life aren't the same as theirs, but you just have to do what you believe in and hope that oneday they will come around.

PEC

Sense you are not willing to tell her the truth. You could tell her, that if you came back, your heart would not be in it and Jehovah will kill you at Armageddon anyway. Or you could suck it up and stop whining.

Philip

choosing life

Have you asked her why she wants you to return to the meetings? Have you explained to her that you just don't believe what they teach and so God would destroy you anyway, according to what they believe.?

What finally got my family off my back was to thoroughly convince them I just did not believe it anymore and sitting through the meetings was very uncomfortable to me on many levels. They don't ask anymore.

emptywords

She should listen to what is said at the meeting, time and time again, that you can't make a person do what you want, they have to do it from their own heart. I think encouragment like, how are you darling? we have been thinking of you, want you to be part of the family starting from today, would you like to come around for tea....but they don't break bread with ones that don't associate with JW, I think that is stupid and unchristian.

I'm being hounded again

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