Father's headstone is missing!

by mtsgrad 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    To cut a very long story short, I grew up with a very abusive witness mother. Did the truth thing, became a pioneer and MS etc. Father (not in the truth) died just over 10 years ago.

    In the last few months I have been getting some counselling to get some sort of emotional equlibrium.

    Today for the first time ever went to visit my fathers grave.

    After 20 minutes of investigating I realised he had no headstone. I don't think anyone in my family has ever visited.

    Makes me feel like a jerk and makes me hate my family and the truth just a bit more.

    Glad I got that off my chest.

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    Once you realize it isnt the truth, you may really hate it even more.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Maybe they thought only jehovah needs to know where the body is or it doesn't matter to jehovah where the body is and if that's the case they don't need to know either?

    Weird

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Junction - Guy,

    I've reached that point already. Been fading for a year.

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    Mrs Jones,

    It still feels weird. Unkempt I could accept, but no headstone?! I've got some serious issues to address.

  • Purza
    Purza

    Short of asking a family member, is there anyway you can find out if there ever was a headstone? Maybe ask the cemetary grounds keeper or front office? Is there a marker of any kind?

    Purza

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    Maybe she didnt have the money for a headstone?

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    I am so angry. There is just an empty space. When I calm down I'll try and talk to the groundsman or family.

    My mortality gave me a big wakeup call today!

  • DJK
    DJK

    My memories of the JW concept of death were refreshed when my mother passed away. I learned my parents had purchased plots in a cemetary that doesn't allow headstones. My mother was never a JW. I didn't allow the lack of a headstone bother me because my parents had purchased these plots years before. It was their decision. I'm sure the fact that the JWs don't memorialise the dead was a major factor in the decision.

    On the other hand, my wife and I have purchased plots in the same cemetary. We dont wish to have a stone. Cost, reason #1. Reason #2, I never revisit a grave and I dont expect anyone would revisit mine. Only the headstone cutter would benifit.

  • changeling
    changeling

    You might find it healing to purchase one yourself one day. Might bring you some "closure".

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