BIG About.com on Dfing and "Fading"

DannyHaszard

http:www.atheism.about.com/od/jehovahswitnesses/a/WitnessFade.htm here We can comment at the article and file this for evidence value as About.com is considered expert witnesses http://atheism.about.com/b/a/069061.htm Comment below From Jehovah's Witness to Atheist: How & Why Jehovah's Witnesses Fade from Congregations 7 hrs ago | About.com

DannyHaszard

For many, simply disappearing off the Watchtower's radar isn't an option — not if they want to continue having relationships with Witness family and friends.
Fading
Many Witnesses who become atheists must "fade" from the congregation to avoid drawing too much attention to themselves. Fading is when a Witness gradually becomes less and less active within the congregation over a long period of time. Many atheists can take years to fade successfully, hoping that the Elders in their congregation will be too busy with other concerns to take notice. Their families will notice sooner or later, but it's the Elders who have the power to disfellowship them. So long as the atheist isn't officially disfellowshipped and don't openly disparage the Watchtower's teachings, a relationship with their families is still possible.
To those who don't know any better, fading can seem like the cowardly approach. Some former Witnesses are lucky enough to have attended a less diligent congregation where they can simply disappear without going before a Judicial Committee. Others are simply willing to sacrifice all former relationships and go it alone in the world. Some proselytes who don't have Witness relatives may find their families are pleased with the change. For the rest, fading — though a long and arduous process — can be their only option, even if it means they will be looked down upon by people who once respected them as Christians in good standing.
If you are a Jehovah's Witness with doubts about your religious beliefs, there is advice and suggestions about how to fade away from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society or from other religious organizations with similar beliefs.

Advice For Faders

1. Seek advice from those who've done it.
It can be risky trying to contact other former members, but finding support groups for ex-Witnesses on the internet is an easy, low risk solution. You can search for organized groups of ex-Witnesses in your area on the internet or search Google for keywords "apostafest" or "meetup," along with your state. Remember that some Elders are suspicious of faders. You may end up bumping into an Elder if you attend such meetings, so be careful. They could be taking names.

2. Have a plan.
As paranoid as it sounds, scheduling the pace of your fade might keep you from slipping away too quickly and getting noticed. Plan each step of your fade in advance.

3. Have excuses ready and cover your tracks.
What will you say if someone asks about your decreasing activity? Some overzealous Witnesses can be very persistent, and some may even check your stories. What if they find out that you asked your boss to let you work on Sunday mornings so you'd have an excuse to miss the meeting? What if you keep turning in 10 hours of field service time each month, yet no one ever sees you out in service? Be ready for questions like these.

Some faders have created a list of topics they can switch to when they encounter persistent Witnesses. They memorize a story and launch into it whenever the need arises. They memorize it so they won't stutter or pause, which makes it harder for the Witness to interrupt. Some ex-Witnesses use this one even after they've left the Society to avoid arguments with family members who are desperate to reactivate them spiritually.

4. Skim the Watchtower's literature for upcoming discussions about apostates or shepherding calls.
Remember that the literature is available in advance. You might find out that there's going to be a push for Elders to check up on those who are "weak in The Truth" in the coming months. This would obviously be a bad time to go inactive. If you are fading, be ready for a visit or extra pressures from friends and family around that time.

5. Make yourself hard to reach.
The fewer chances the Elders have to ask questions, the better. Wait a month or two, then replace that answering machine with Caller-ID. Failure to return their messages will look suspicious after a while, so don't let them leave any on your machine. When they visit your home, ask them to call in advance next time. If they ignore your request, ask them to come back later. They'll take advantage if you don't enforce this policy — remember that Elders are not above the rules of courtesy. They may give up eventually, but be careful and keep any appointments to meet with them if you already agreed to it. So long as you don't reveal that you're an atheist or have doubts in the Society, there isn't much they can do.

6. Move to another congregation.
Moving to another congregation has several advantages. If you have yourself reassigned to a more distant congregation, the Elders there will have more difficulty keeping tabs on you. Shepherding calls probably won't happen, though they may try to call you on the phone. Randomly attending both congregations could make your fade a little easier because it is harder for either congregation to know what's going on in your life.

Bear in mind that you should have a good excuse ready when you request a transfer. Believe it or not, they can deny your request if you don't have a good reason. You could tell them that you're having trouble attending the meetings locally and a transfer would help. Moving to a new home is obviously the best way to do this, but it isn't very practical for most. Instead, you might start by simply going to that other Kingdom Hall, then repeat your request to one of their Elders after a few months. If you're lucky, the Elders at your new congregation will help expedite the transfer.

7. Be wary of persistent Witnesses.
Sadly, some may try to trick you into confessing your disbelief. Some Witnesses have even gone to faders and expressed false doubts about the Society, thus inviting the fader to do the same. Then, within weeks or days, the fader gets a call from their Elders. Relatives have even pulled this one on faders, so be careful.

8. Make new friends.
You'll need new friends for emotional support once you've left. Why go it alone?

Junction-Guy

Even though Im not an Atheist, I think this article is very informative and useful. Thanks Danny!!

What-A-Coincidence

WTF? My life story on about.com? Hell yeah!!!

DannyHaszard

From Jehovah's Witness to Atheist: How & Why Witnesses Fade from ...

Most religious believers are free to leave their denomination at any time they choose without repercussions. They may face some pressure from associates if ...
atheism.about.com/od/jehovahswitnesses/a/WitnessFade.htm - 28k -

The link for posting and emailing already way up the the web index

ex-nj-jw

Great post Danny!

Thanks I have to get that book

nj

IsaacJS2

I'm the author of the articles. I made an announcement last week that they were coming and didn't realize anyone here had paid them any mind! Cool. Thanks for the comments.

Austin is letting me start a series of these, which will come out every month. If you like the articles, make sure to let others know. I'm not getting paid, BTW, so I'm not just pimping it for that.

Although I just found out that my wife lost her job today...

IsaacJ

purplesofa

great article, thanks for posting

DannyHaszard

Up at Topix post a comment here too http://www.topix.net/forum/who/jehovahs-witnesses/T3R4GMPJUJPS2DT3I

From Jehovah's Witness to Atheist: How & Why Jehovah's Witnesses Fade from Congregations

13 hrs ago | About.com

... continue speaking with them and their business relationships will be unaffected. Not so when one of Jehovah's Witnesses becomes an atheist. For Jehovah's Witnesses , the potential problems associated with being disfellowshipped and shunned lead to ... 1 comment

BIG About.com on Dfing and "Fading"

Fading

Advice For Faders

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