Finally getting shunned...

bluesbreaker59

Well my family has been doing it for a while. But I found it REALLY strange, that I live in an area of town with many JW's and still go to all the normal places, and yet I'd not seen them... Last week, walking around downtown, I spotted my "step -aunt", (step mom's side) and she put her head down, and wouldn't acknowledge me. Then I rode up the elevator with her today, same treatment, thought today she made eye contact. This past weekend I was at Walmart, and spotted 2 nicely dressed young women, and sure enough they were from my old hall. They stared when I was in the distance, and then as I got closer, they looked away, and didn't even move.

Its funny how they just avoid you like the plague...

I also had an interesting conversation yesterday with my best friend (ex-witness 1st cousin), and we were talking about it being cult like behavior and something you'd see in some creepy old movie, and how these people are so programmed by fear. He was never baptized and left years before me, so I shared with him that I was doing tons of research, and reading a book, "Crisis of Conscience", he said he wanted to see my research, and the book, and present stuff to our family. I told him not to bother, because they are too brain washed by the Borg and my grandma.

Dansk

BB59,

'Been there, done it, got the tee-shirt', etc.

I found the best thing to do was to just get on with life and be happy. Now, I don't know why, but those that shunned my family and I (we were marked) have been trying to be friendly. We are not averse to being friendly but their attempts are not sincere - or should I say they are sincerely Watchtower driven! I have no wish to speak to any of them and I'm not interested in their false smiles.

You'll be ok as long as you're true to yourself - and coming here is great because you can be uplifted in a minute!

Best wishes,

Ian

minu

Yes, it is a strange feeling.....my parents are active jws and at first they were going back and forth with whether or not to shun. They talk to me now and our relationship is better than ever. There is hope. The ones that continue to shun are so blind. On their death bed they might wish they had spoken to me when I called or tried to help out after my df'ing. They would rather talk with my ex-husband who has lived a "double life" for as long as I can remember and they know this. They all try to "help" him.

The pain will ease. ((((((bb59)))))))

unique1

I don't understand how people can do it. I was never able to, even when devout. You have my sympathies. The first time is always difficult.

reneeisorym

It is really weird when you get shunned. It maks me want to shake them silly and see how they respond.

changeling

At least the Walmart greeter didn't shun you....

deaconbluez

Yep, its an awful feeling at first. But you've got to remember that it's THEIR decision to do it to you. Not your's. Before long, if you're like me, the feelings of anger and despair will be replaced with true pity for them. All I can do now is look at them and feel completely sorry that they are under that level of mind control.

leokio

I well remember the last time I was shunned, I was moving out of state and stopped by my "former" best friends place of business and got permission to go into the shop to say goodbye.

He was working on a piece of equipment and looked up in time to see me approaching about 30 feet away. He stood up, turned to his right and walked toward the parts dept. and through a door.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he just had to pee really bad at that moment, I waited 15 min. but he didn't come back.

We had been on semi-speaking terms up to that point so I had no reason to think that I'd get that kind of treatment. That was over 30 years ago. I don't know why but it still cuts a bit to this day when I think about it even though I've replaced him many times over since then.

My sister occasionally tells me that he inquires about me from time to time but I've asked her to keep her answers to a simple "he's fine" and leave it at that. I'm sure his real question is more to "is he old, broke, destitute, diseased, living in sin on his deathbed yet"? That's how most of them want to think us.

Sorry, John, but NONE OF THE ABOVE. I've had a wonderful life due in part because I've mostly distanced myself from you and your kind.

Not everyone can do it, but the moving away part helps a bunch when you don't have to worry about the chance of being shunned every time you go out in public.

Sorry for the long rant but this old event was on my mind recently so I took my shot.

I feel better now...Thanks.

Leo

No paragraphs again...sorry, they were there...I swear it! L.

Es

I had my first shunning experience two weekends ago.

I took my son to a birthday party held at a bowling alley, where blow me down were two JW families from my old congo, one of them being my fav elder when I was in. The wife saw me Im not sure if the others did, but she pretended so well not to....It was amazing, its so unnatural.

She walked straight past me to go to the toilet, that too was done brilliantly.

Oh well

es

outnfree

Well, I felt REALLY hurt the first time that happened. I DA'd in 2001. Now I make a point to say, "Hello." Makes some of them uncomfortable, but others are polite and at least return the greeting -- no long chats, mind you. I refuse to pretend I don't know somebody I was close to for years. I don't want a relationship with them anymore, but I do appreciate civility.

I suggest refusing to be shunned. It's very empowering.

out

Finally getting shunned...

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