by jaguarbass 27 Replies latest jw friends
I agree with Gregor and 6o9. Well there was good advice from many.
You're a good man jaguar.
Between the disappointment you suffered as a Witness and your job, your fighting alot of negativity.
I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling, but if it helps at all, I'd say you're handling it rather well.
I hope you find some relief brother.
Jag,
I sent a pm.
V
I have to get ready for work, but I will respond tomorrow. As you know I work in corrections, so I have a few things to input.
Thank you everyone for your replies. Very kind of you.
I agree with Hortensia - some expert councelling may help. I had some myself and know of others and all have agreed it helped. I don't know what government/community funded help is available in the US but it would be worth following it up. (I paid through the nose for a private Physcologist and although he helped me I was never comfortable he was driving a porshe based on my misery )
Anyway, you don't want to waste the next years overcome by this otherwise the society will take your WHOLE life. Drugs (prescription of course) are sometime necessary but taking a painkiller doesn't heal the wound.
I totally sympathize with the frustration you're facing. I would encourage you to consider trying other medicines. Paxil is OK, but it has specific uses that may not be addressing your issues. Paxil is a little more of an anti-anxiety med, not a full-blown antidepressant. An antidepressant won't magically erase your troubles, but at least they can help you deal with your emotions.
As for being warped by the borg, it's impossible to just forget about it and pretend you were never a JW. But the beauty of your decision to leave is that YOU chose to make decisions on your own, to live the way YOU want to live, etc. You left the borg and all of it's controlling ways; don't let them continue to ruin your life by being resentful about them. Take back your right to have a positive outlook on life.
If you let your job control your life, it will. I know that there may not be a lot of choices as far as employment, but you have to stand up for yourself. By the way, it's illegal for an employer to force you to work longer than 6 hours without a 1/2 hour break. Don't allow them to get away with illegal employment practices. That's a start. Hang in there!
Hey Jag, I can certainly understand your depression and feelings of anger and bitterness. I can tell you that I was raised a dub as well and was on Prozac from the time I was sixteen until just recently (twenty plus years). All those years of medication didn't accomplish what one year of therapy did. I firmly believe that medication can be a wonderful tool, but I think that is all it is, a tool, a bandaid unless you deal with the underlying issues. There absolutely are people for whom meds are vital and a wonderful blessing, but I also think the value of therapy cannot be underestimated. I also agree with others who suggested changing your circumstances. Sometimes that can change your perspective and give you a new start. When you feel hopeless and trapped, its difficult to NOT feel angry and depressed. I really hope you find something that works for you, you're a good guy and you deserve better.
brunn
If you let your job control your life, it will. I know that there may not be a lot of choices as far as employment, but you have to stand up for yourself. By the way, it's illegal for an employer to force you to work longer than 6 hours without a 1/2 hour break. Don't allow them to get away with illegal employment practices. That's a start. Hang in there
Exwitless it's really bizare because I work for the government and they are the biggest abbusers ever. They have ways of getting around everything.
I want to try to work there for 7 more years and then I will get a small retirement when I'm 62. I'ts a kind of crappy job. But for somebody my age with no education it is the best I can find. I've had worse for less money.
If you complain they will run you out the door. It is a paramilitary organization with muster every eveneing. If you complain they can fire you for having strings on your uniform. Florida is a Republican paradise and a workers nightmare. There is an 50% turn over every year. Some quit or get fired right out of the academy. Young people who have an education would not do this job for any length of time.
People try to file class action suits or call lawyers and the next thing you hear they are under investigation and they get fired.
I and every older person I know who works there looks in the classified for better situations, when your over 50 its slim pickings. I reallly feel lucky to have this job so I can be abused, which is sick I know.
I could be working at 7-11 for 40% less pay and no health insurance or retirement.
Jag, At some point along the way it seems to me you also need to look at the fact you allowed yourself to be taken in and flumexed by the JW line. Once you walk away, isn't it time to stop feeling victimized and bend your will toward a more satifying life style? I don't mean to be harsh, but resigning yourself to being angry is symtomatic of a cycle of blaming everything on someone else or some other entity. I think you can rid yourself of all that if you really want to but it may well require professional help. I wish you well. carmel
well...i have no particular words of wisdom.
just that my story mirrors yours in many ways in regards to education and jobs and emotional state.
i just wanted to say hi, let you know i am thinking of you, empathizing with you, and sending you lots of hugs.
please know that i care.
nowisee
