by NYCkid 18 Replies latest social family
You obviously misread my comments. I hate terrorists and in no way implied otherwise. I lost a friend in the WTC attacks and two co-workers. I mourn every time one of our soldiers dies, loses an arm or leg or some other body part. I think you need to stop interpreting criticism of our President as somehow expressing support for terrorism. This is this last comment I'm making on the issue.
Best,
I boggles my mind how few old farts up in Brooklyn can so effectively separate families through a proxy.
Hey NYC Kid,
Good to have you on the forum, I hadn't seen you here lately. Sorry a Bush-o-phile nearly hijacked your thread here.
the WT shunning tactics are not working
That's the point I try to make to my parents, too. They believe this organization can do no wrong, and it's sad that they choose a cold organization over their own family members.
I am more inclined to consider reinstatement when my family is kind and inclusive
I agree with this sentiment too. Of course, I'd never go back -- but still, if my family decided to be human again instead of so cold, then we could at least start talking about reconciliation. I've held the door open to my parents for 7 years now, and even when they come back to my home state (from the distant state where they live) they just go see their JW friends and ignore me and my sister (who DA'd herself many years back). They IGNORE their own children and grandchildren. And have the nerve to act like their values are somehow superior.
You might as well just see pictures of the wedding, for how distant it would feel even if you showed up in person.
For me personally, I am more inclined to consider reinstatement when my family is kind and inclusive as they had been for a few years until they realized I wasn't coming back
Yeah, I have had only a couple of incidents that have made me want to go back - both when a JW showed me kindness and respect (it made me want more). The shunning makes me numb my feelings towards them so that I wouldn't want them back in my life even if they let me.
Hey Girl - you brought back some memories. My sister was DFd when I got married. I wanted her there, but didn't know what to do, but most of my family were non-witnesses and I figured what's the big difference. She decided to forgo the wedding at the hall and just come to the reception. (Why I don't really remember.) But anyway, she sat at the family table and enjoyed herself with them.
I was thrilled that she was there and glad that no one choose to make a big deal of it. Looking back, I guess it was a little miracle. But it caused a lot of heartache for her and I before the event.
(((hugs))) - I truly hope it works out for you.
It is a shame that they would invite you but not INCLUDE you. They obviously can't see the difference in the two. (((((((HUGS)))))))
not much comfort i know - but at least you got invited and got to make the choice yourself as to whether to go or not.
from other response - are there any non jw's in your family who may go? if so, maybe you could stick with them and not get left out?
Thanks guys, I didn't realize a few of you posted additional comments until a member emailed me privately, I thought the thread was dead for the most part.
I appreciate all your comments and sorry to hear some of you are shunned as well. Like Gopher said, I'm certain, they sit at the K.H. all smug that they are serving their God, but without realizing that their conception of God tears families apart. I told my mother once that I'm bet she's glad the JWs don't interpret the entire Bible literally or me, her and the rest of the family would be dragged out to a field to be stoned to death.
I don't think any non-JW relatives will be attending and for the most part, all of the immediate extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins are all JWs. As for the few non-JW relatives, I don't think my brother knows them well enough to invite them. Growing up, we saw my non-JW family at the occasional reunion, but we never have much contact besides that. If I didn't have so far to travel, I would definitely go to the ceremony. I think the real problem is that they seem to take that Bible passage "not even eat with someone" very literally.
Last year, my Dad passed away and when the word got around that I was planning on attending the after funeral reception, a sister actually called my mother to explain that she couldn't help out with it and that she and few other "brothers and sisters" would not be coming to the reception since I would be there. (I kid you not). After much debate with my family, I decided to throw in the towel and not make the entire mourning situation worse for the rest of my family. It just amazed me, but driving to my parents house after the funeral was probably the most single lonliest moments in my life. If I had any doubt that the JWs were not true Christians, that moment dispelled them.
Anyway I only share this because if I caused so much ruckus by wanting some ham and turkey and maybe a caring hug or a pat on the back after my Dad's funeral, I certainly don't want to cause any problems on my brother's wedding day, especially since the reception will be held in the yard of a JW's private home.
Best,
NYCkid
It truly is amazing to me how they think to treat one cruel wants us to return to a religion. Really it is very stupid on their part, but it does serve the power and control issues the cult has.
Sorry you felt you could not attend your brothers wedding. When my grandparents passed away last year I was told up front by my family that I could not attend any after reception since I had DA'd myself. For a minute I almost wanted to go, and just watch people walk away...it sure would have made my family mad. But then decided that I need not act like them, and I would remember my grandparents as the wonderful people that they were.
Take care.
Leslie
