Sitting here alone

thepackage

As I've mentioned, I've stopped going to meetings three months ago, this morning I took my kids to breakfeast and they asked if I was going to meeting. I told them no becasue I had something to to. My youngest wanted to know why I have not shaven, really did not respond. While I will return to the WTS, it is tempting to go to the KH and sit with my kids and ex-wife, Any thoughts?????

thepackage

I meant to say NOT return. Sorry. I guess I slipped!!!

choosing life

If you want to attend with your wife and kids, go ahead. No big deal. It doesn't mean you have to buy into it. If it makes your family happy and you don't care then that's all that matters.

AlphaOmega

Phew !!! That's a toughie...

Are you proposing to go to the meetings with a "Homer Simpson" mind and have your own thoughts whilst the speaker babbles on - for the sake of your family ?

I have to say that sounds good - but others who have experience here may differ on that opinion.

All that pops into my mind is that in Revelation, God calls all his faithful out of Babylon The Great, which proves that some people who know that it isn't the truth will still be wrapped up in it.

It may make it easier for you to ease your family out if you don't have the separation between you.

Just my musings though... it's a crappy situation to be in. I'm sure that loads of posters here will have been in your shoes and they will have better advice than me.

Mum

I have been in your shoes, tp. I did attend an occasional meeting or assembly for. The point was to let her know that I loved her and I was there for her no matter what. The JW's wanted her to feel that I had abandoned her along with the baggage. She was taught to hate me. She was afraid I would die at armageddon, a lot of stress for an 8-year-old. I don't regret going for her sake. I didn't try to indoctrinate her against the borg, but did show her that there are different ways to look at things. She is NOT a JW today, and wants no part of it. They did such a number on her that she loathes them.

Being there for your children, even if it means sitting through an uninspired pseudo religious service, is never wrong. The stand I took is that my daughter was more important to me than my disagreement with a cracked ideology.

Hope this helps.

Wishing you and your children happy times together,

SandraC

Sunnygal41

i agree with what choosing life wrote, if you have no personal issues with being there to support your wife, then by all means, go. when i went to see my terminally ill mom a few months ago, i told her that if she felt well enough to go to a meeting, i'd go with her as a support. that would have been the first time i've stepped foot in a kh in over 9 years. i've reached the point in my recovery that it would not affect me. as it was, they had a call line set up and i quietly sat and listened with her in the living room...........i felt nothing, good or bad listening to it........it was just another religious program like i might hear on the radio or tv while flipping........

terri

bluebell

i think there is nothing wrong with going for your family if that is what you want.

SPAZnik

(((thepackage)))

I wish there were simple answers to how to strike a balance between the example you set for your children on how to be loving and tolerant to other earthlings at the same time as to yourself, without being a martyr.

It can feel like a bit of a circus act. Fortunately, I'm quite capable of sitting back and enjoying a quality circus performance. My success at navigating the crowds usually starts with whistling the tune from the big top. :) Don't just sit there alone. Whistle a tune. :)

BE the change you wish to see in the world. - Ghandi

What you resist will persist. What you befriend you will transcend. - Unknown

Do one thing every day that scares you. - Eleanor Roosevelt

peace to you and yours,
S.

SPAZnik

When I was 6 years old, my father made a complex life-altering decision.
He left my mother.
Instead of focusing on all the points of war,
he just knelt down to my height and said in earnest,
"no matter what anyone ever says, I always love you".
Even though I was a child, I somehow got the vibe of things
too complex to articulate.
Then he walked out the door.
He followed up that declaration of love, over the years,
with the few tangible efforts he was capable of
all things considered
such as a monthly phone call
and a twice a year visit up until I turned 18
at which point it basically became a once a year visit.
Since my leaving the witnesses it has basically become a
phone call once every couple years.

I'm not suggesting you leave your children's mother
or abandon your commitment to daily responsibility to your children.
I'm suggesting that whatever you do,
you just let your children know you love them,
in as many authentic ways as you can. :)
Ultimately, the rest is just details.

The truth will set you free.
Kids somehow know when they are being lied to
and in their sheer idealism
somehow love us, in spite of the choices we make that impact them.

Don't be scared dad. Kids bounce. Please don't make them your excuse for not doing what you need to do to care for yourself and be the best individual you know how to be everything you have to work with. :)

I would also suggest finding other ways to be a great dad and to keep your family united and strong. Mentally separate the issues of "being a united strong family" from "being witnesses". Do this in your own mind first, and the rest will come naturally and with success. :)

Grouper

I feel for you package I wish I had a step by step hand book to give you to resolve your problems.

On a side note maybe the JW group can help you out on this

My friend the Package is suppose to get his kids everyother weekend but that is becoming a problem. Let me explain:

His wife is living with her JW parents at the moment... they have a swimming pool and our father in law is the PO of the local congregation so plenty of other JW kids associate with The Package (TP) daughters and they love it, to the point that it is becoming increasingly difficult for TP daughters to want to stay with him when he is suppose to get them since mom has fun things to do.

How can the package turn that tide, how can he compete

All suggestions will be appreciated

Sitting here alone

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