That's one PATHETIC photo.
Many former JW's have some difficulty readjusting to life outside of the JW's. Losing many friends and family can make it seem just like your friend said, "there is nothing else out there". You go from a tight-nit group of people spending enormous amounts of time together, to often being outright alone and starting over from nothing. But the fact is this is how it is with many OTHER large organizations as well, when somebody finally leaves altogether it can be lonely. Professional athletes and even the local softball-bowling-soccer etc leagues offer a camaraderie that is not easy to replace. Politicians, Peace Corps members even restaurant or construction workers often experience something similar when leaving such closer knit ties that they have developed. Kids leaving high school or college too. People often need companionship and some kind of social life to replace what has been lost. This is a normal human reaction when leaving any organization of people like this. But it definitely does not mean that because somebody misses the JW brotherhood, that this is some "sign from God" the JW's are the one sole truth on earth. Although I can see how some may think it is because this is what they hear from being a JW over and over. It's just a matter of perspective.
The fact that the JW's caution against any association that is not a strong JW only makes it more difficult for the person leaving the JW's and starting over. You are at times literally starting from scratch. Not a fun thing to do. And which is also why places like this are so active and meaningful for EX-JW's. It helps make the transition out much easier to handle.
Though having to stomach photos like posted above by nvrgnbk can make you question being here at all...
: )
"There's nothing else out there"
by yaddayadda 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Vinny
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SPAZnik
Hey Vinny,
I can appreciate your comments but I must disagree, vehemently, on one thing. JWs don't just "caution" against non-JW contact. They METHODICALLY INCULCATE against non-JW contact right from youth on up.
Firstly they add quite a lot of weight to their organizations directives (unlike other orgs) by claiming (and jumping through all sorts of logical hoops to support the idea that) they speak for God Himself. Then they counsel parents time and again to "train up a boy according to the way for him..." and not to "spare the rod"...
Then, by repeatedly tying scriptures like, "Bad associations spoil useful habits" and "Friendship with the world is enmity with God" to comments (in the Watchtower and from the platforms at every meeting and convention and in the group social context) about how dangerous it would be to associate with "worldly" coworkers and schoolmates and to "remain in the world but separate from it". They repeatedly tying scriptures like "put the kingdom first" as a blanket reason on why a person should not do just about anything such as joining a team sport or getting a post-secondary education when they could end up missing meetings or sharing in all the ungodly activities of the worldly ones. They chastise, "mark", reprove and disfellowship people for leading "double lives". They attach all sorts of negative connotations to anything even remotely resembling other than work social contact with non-jws unless it is in a strictly preaching (though they don't use that word either) context.
When faced with the weight of God-given Authority, five bobblehead meetings a week, plus all the beliefs about are you doing enough, and how worldly people / anyone not wholeheartedly serving Jehovah are going down at the Big A, plus regular do more in service to save them, plus backroom meetings 3 on 1 with no legal rep or witnesses yourself if anyone tells them anything about seeing you with non-JWs and even being counselled not to certain speak to people WITHIN the congregation under threat of disfellowshipping if you disobey their authority, saying it's a "caution" is putting it a bit mildly, don't you think?
Their stance on this is hardly comparable with MOST organizations out there. (Though there are some, similarly militant ones, like the police for example, that renders outside association challenging for political reasons, even then, it's allowed). On the whole, though, MOST organizations you might associate with and then leave, are not even remotely as controlling as the JWs are about who you may or may not associate with, what you may or may not drive or wear, what extra-curricular activities you may or may not participate in. Generally people in other organizations, even religious ones, have neighbors they've built up relationships with, other hobbies and interest groups they've participated and made contact with. The JW social divide is much more insular than MOST organizations. Not to mention most organizations no matter how narcissistic, do not claim to speak for God.
With greater Authority, comes greater responsiblity. I am reminded of an example with a JW boss I once did some delivery driving work for. He once told me on day one, "Well, I would never tell you to speed, but, that took too long....". He was, from a position of job-firing authority, "cautioning" me about his expectation that I do whatever it took to get the deliveries there within a certain time period, including speed, though he would never outright say that in order not to become legally accountable himself." I'm not saying this because I'm above speeding. I'm pointing out that not stating something overtly and directly does not mean it hasn't, in more ways than one, and with weight, been said.
How many other organizations do you join and end up told explicitly or by implication to limit your association with your own flesh and blood because they are non-members and Satan will try to get to you thru them and break your faith?
thanks for listening,
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greendawn
He didn't have the determination to search hard enough that's why he couldn't find anything outside the JW world. There are all sorts of wavelengths that one can choose from. And many people that are much nicer than the average JW.
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SPAZnik
I'd just like to add that the separation of don't celebrate this and don't recreate there adds to the division. While I've personally come and gone freely and without repercussion from many secular organizations, leaving the witnesses was more like the culture shock of leaving one country to go to another, with completely different cultural rituals and social behaviors from those assimilated within the context of a witness environment. In my experience, other organizations and the people in them are generally much more tolerant of human diversity than the JWs. I've even begun to see quite the parallel between Hitler/Nazi mentality and the JWs "Pure" people.
Can you see this too?