Divorce rates among JWs higher? (page 3)

Purza

I just heard about a long married couple (20 years) who were "pillars" in the congregation. They are in the process of a divorce. Apparently she had an affair and then he filed for divorce.

I know others who have had affairs in order to get out of bad JW marriages. I wonder how many of the JW divorces come about because of infidelity. Because even if you get a legal divorce and then remarry, you are charged with adultery as a JW. So why not just find someone else and get it over with and end a bad marriage.

Just wondering.

Purza

AK - Jeff

I know others who have had affairs in order to get out of bad JW marriages. I wonder how many of the JW divorces come about because of infidelity. Because even if you get a legal divorce and then remarry, you are charged with adultery as a JW. So why not just find someone else and get it over with and end a bad marriage.
Just wondering.
Purza

I actually believe this is quite common. Another approach is [and for anyone who is now beginning to think normally again this seems nuts] to lie and claim that one party or the other had an affair, the one claiming such 'takes his medicine', DF or reproof or whatever, and the 'innocent' mate gets to be free and remarry.

I was amazed when my wife told me that she had heard of this happening with a couple here. I could not concieve that the husband had committed an act of unfaithfulness. She told me he hadn't - he just lied in order to give his wife freedom to remarry. Once the public reproof was over there was no problem - he just took another wife also. So I guess in Jwfantasyland, 'bearing false witness' and perjury before a JC is better than adultery in real life.

Jeff

cognizant dissident

A couple of years ago, I wondered about this same question. I made a list of all the couples I knew who were witnesses, including only ones I knew well enough to know their history of marriage and divorces. The divorce rate on my list was 60% which at the time was the divorce in rate in Canada. So, no difference. And that didn't even include all the witnesses who were staying together but wanted to get divorced!

Cog

JK666

Jeff,

I believe that the divorce rate in the JW's is lower than the rest of the population . . . but ARTIFICIALLY lower! THis is because many that get divorced end up disfellowshipped, therefore they wouldn't count them. How convenient!

JK

Mrs Smith

It's the same here in South Africa. Divorce among the JW is very high.

JWdaughter

My JW mom was married to my non-JW dad for nearly 40 years. He was irreligious and took religion with some humor, I think. He didn't care.

My uncle (moms brother) was married 3 times all to JW women. The first two are no longer JWs, but one of them has her ex living on the same property as her (go figure), the second is ???, the third is still a JW and divorced him because he is just nuts. He is still a JW in good standing, with no authority in the cong anymore. After the second divorce they figured something was up, I guess. All three wives were very nice ladies and I have varying degrees of affection for all of them.

My mom's cousin didn't want a 2d divorce I guess-so she just killed her cheating JW husband and his paramour. She was not legally or spiritually disciplined. Now on her 3d husband, she had a son who accidentally killed his brother while hunting. They say. So, statistically in my family. . .we have one successful marriage, 4 divorces and a murder. And that is the 3 JWs that are still JWs.

My aunt divorced her husband and I think they were both JWs at the time. Neither are now. She is on her 3d husband (the last one was a nice guy, she was messed up. She is ok now and this one is a good one also).

Dansk

Jeff,

I'm beginning to get concerned over you! First a thread about infidelity and now this one!

Ian

jgnat

LoverofTruth: I think the Divorce Rate is probably lower among the JWs. Not so much because they have good marriages but because it is Required of them not to Divorce.

You'd think so, but the research by www.barna.org has convinced me otherwise. Amongst a similar group, the evangelicals, the divorce rate is no different than the general population. Even though they publiclly condemn divorce. I think it may be a general truth about our society that there is a significant disconnect between our stated values and how we actually live.

AK - Jeff

Jeff,
I'm beginning to get concerned over you! First a thread about infidelity and now this one!
Ian

No worry, Ian. It just seems to be on my mind - Jw's and marriage that is. Wifey and I are fully intact, and intent on staying that way. My mind is just running in this stream for the moment, prob triggered by information about a former close-friend's impending Divorce - I would have predicted my own sooner than theirs. In fact I can't get it off my mind all day. I want to 'reach out' to them, but am of course forbidden to do so. Jk666 - Love the new avatar. Jeff

troubled mind

I never considerd divorce as an option .

Most likely because my own parents were married over fifty years together and faithful .Also because of being raised as a witness and taking very serious the marriage vows .I honestly thought it would not be a huge problem in the JW world .....

Now years later several of our JW friends have split . .... The first JW couple we knew to divorce sent me reeling ...I guess by nature I am pretty naive about things .We lived in a small community and I lived a pretty sheltered existance .But it honestly shocked me when people married over 25 yrs. got divorced .That happened three times in our small hall not to mention all the 3-5 yr marriages .

What really scares me now is the threat of it happening in my own marriage .

My husband is very unhappy right now . Last night I asked if it was anything specific and he said it was everything ........Work sucks for him right now .....He doesn't say it out loud ,but I know he blames me for leaving JW world , thus losing all our so called friends . Which I reminded him last night ....they had nothng to do with us BEFORE we stopped going !

He doesn't really like our new friends...... which are mostly my friends from work including their husbands . The couple we do things with most, like to go to bars and listen to bands play (which he likes the music ,but hates the drinking and smoking going on around him )

I have tried hard to plan things to keep us busy , but it is all ME putting forth the effort ....this is not going to work .

Last night I felt like for the first time that he really just doesn't love me anymore .....

He is a very moody person , always has been . I hope this passes , but I am beginning to wonder don't I deserve to be treated better ...is it my fault for holding on so long to something that is just not there ..? I can't make him love me if he doesn't .

Divorce rates among JWs higher?

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