My own beliefs right now are pretty chaotic and scattered but thats not suprising seeing that im only 17 almost 18 years old
Exactly!
Looking back it's amazing how the JWs that brought me into the org worked so hard to give me the impression that I had the keys to the universe. For a short period of time I had felt that I had found it all out! Shortly afterwards I started to realize how little I actually knew.
Which brings me to a side point that just rushed through my head. How undervalued older people are in the org. Many of the 'experience' and 'knowledge' that such older ones have is worthless to JWs today. All that matters is being current and faithful to the org. A JW will be able to tell you about personal revelations and reflections in a very deep way because everything has to come from the group. Pretty sad when you think about it.