by R.F. 21 Replies latest jw friends
Hi R.F.
I know you love your father but it will truely be HIS loss if HE decides to shun you. Damn, how can people be so f*ckin blind?!? He has a good, kind, intelligent son and if HE would rather follow the directive from Brooklyn and shun you then that is HIS poor choice.
I applaud you.
BFD
What's up with ladyofsmiles??? Take responsiblity for you actions and stop blaming everyone around you!!!!! Take birth control too!
Kudos to you!! Excellent strategy. If things get to hot with the elders, say I am not submitting myself to this and walk out. GOOD LUCK!!
Lady of smiles,
One's spirituality or lack thereof is no one's business unless one alows it to be. We cannot control, manipulate or blackmail people to bend to our brand of religion just because it was good for us. You are telling that young man to cower to his father in fear and trembling for what?! He will never learn to think for himself or be a man if he always has to cower to what other people think is best for him. He is grown and responsible for himself, not his father. He owes only respect and love but not obedience or his free will. Will JW's never learn what free will is? Letting others control you makes you their slave.
or by anyone, take that as a lesson and life your life free of any form of slavery. I understand about your dad but you gotta realize that one of these days you will have to confront the issue with him either way.
Exactly. That's why, as I said, that i'm not going to exert myself with putting on a facade. I don't view it as slavery. However if it comes down to the point where I have to go ahead and make him choose I will. For now it's like i'm just coasting along to wait and see how everything turns out.
The lady who said to grovel to dad,
Christianity has people blaming God or Satan for everything that goes right or wrong in their lives but never blaming themselves. Paganism has people taking 100% responsibility for their actions because they don't tend to believe in God or Satan and they live in the here and now, not the their and then. If one is going to remain a Christian, one must take responsibility, stop blaming others, stop the self pity, make a plan for getting one'sself out of the mess, and DOING IT! Oh, and quit blaming the devil for all of the wrongs in the world that are really just people's own bad personal decisions.
PS birthcontrol is a very very very good and responsible thing to do if one cannot afford to raise a family either as a married or single parent. Get a brain, will you!!!! Only you have the power to help yourself. No one else is responsible for you but YOU! Co-dependency is a disorder.
RF,
Good for you! It may be hard but just hang in there and do what YOU feel is right for YOU (not your dad). I mean by that that I know the relationship is precious to you and to wreck it would be foolish. I am having a time trying to balance all of that as I am a 4th generation JW (I am not a JW anymore) and must play that fading and faking game with my family. It's hard but I'm doing it. I wish you the best and congrats on free will and independent thinking!
Dear R.F... I don't know how old you are but I was once a teenager and young woman in the truth. I used to say to Jehovah years later.."If only my Mom had been in the truth than I wouldn't have been leading a double life and doing questionable things with a male friend of mine from the neighborhood. Yes..I was going thru all the hoops. I was doing all the right things. But my heart was not in it. My heart was thinking about..Oh if I could only do this and do that like the girls that hang on the corner. And I slowly faded away. And then one boyfriend and one abortion later and pain and sorrow. But later I went back and stayed for 15 years and got bapitized..I was living the good life with 3 kids even though a had married an exbeliever. But then my sin came back again and this time it was tragic. I was separted from my exhusband and a "so called brother" who later apostated was never leaving me alone. And we got disfellowship for un- cleanliness. I was in shock I did that. How could I. Then my husband beat my daughter and the exhusand not in the truth took my children and I never saw them again. So I divorced the brother who got disfellowshipped and he's not been back since. And we had a son who now doesn't believe in the truth. In the meantime I had another failed divorce and I was disfellowshipped years ago in which I confessed myself. But it was hard so hard to go back with 2 more kids born and one was special needs. I got depressed and old and unhappy. So I always go back to if only my sister in the truth had helped me more..if only my mom was in the truth. But the real truth is the FAULT LIED with ME. And my way of thinking. So if Jehovah is watching and hasn't forgoting me. Go to your Dad and confess and fall on your knees and beg forgiveness cause the end is so close I can almost taste it!! May Jehovah bless you and keep you safe..
I am sorry to disagree but after years of experimenting this jehovah being does not help you make better choises in life in fact quite the opposite. I know of an elder's widow is now looking for a place to live because of no financial planning after Jehovah Brooklyn told her not to worry about it, the end will be here soon. Despite her being a pioneer and a fine example to the congregation, nothing has happened to save her from the really bad decision that her and her deceased husband have made.
ladyofsmiles,
With all due respect of course, I don't know of much more to say than what others have already stated in reply to you. I will tell you that I confess my sins to NO ONE BUT GOD. I don't, and will not confess a thing to any man, that includes my father. But then again, there's really nothing wrong here to confess. I know that you believe you're telling me what's best for me, and i'm sorry that you've been through some of the things you have, but life is about choices. The choices each of us make can impact us a little, could be alot, but you have to live with them individually. My mother is a very smart woman and she always said this regarding me and my siblings: "I love you, and I want the best you, but you all must make choices for yourself and deal with whatever consequences they bring."
I just wish that many more among the JW ranks would embrace that logic.
Good for you, you're taking control Stay strong!
