After Da'ing myself three years ago I wanted to get in touch with some of my "worldly" relatives since I had mostly ignored them for quite sometime and because my witness relatives were shunning me. About the only relative I had a relationship with was my sister who was Df'd. I wasn't quite sure how to go about this because I didn't know what my parents had told any of them if anything. Also, like I said I had mostly ignored them for years since they weren't witnesses themselves.
I started off easy by sending out a couple christmas cards to a couple of relatives on both sides of the family. I didn't get alot of response except that an aunt who lives not so far away did call me after we had a nice conversation where I explained I wasn't a witness anymore and she understood and said to stay in touch. I have kept in touch with this aunt and uncle through mail and phone periodically. Recently they invited me, my son, and girlfriend to my cousin's (son of another aunt and uncle) wedding. I decided to go although I was unsure what kind of response I would get and wondered if my parents or any other witness relatives would be there. My aunt seemed very open and caring so I we went to the reception.
When I got there I saw my uncle and went up to him reminding him who I was (since it had been about 8 years and he had been in bad health). He said, 'your aunt has been looking for you, let me take you inside.' As I went in a witness aunt and uncle were on there way out for a breath of fresh air and saw me. Well, you would think that aunt had seen a ghost! I immediately said 'hello' and she muttered 'hello' and put her head down and kept walking. Her husband (also my uncle) did say hello with a smile and shook my hand but didn't say more and kept walking. My uncle (the first I mentioned) said to me, 'well...she's not even going to shake your hand!' Lol!
It was a great time! I had two sets of aunts and uncles, a few cousins and 2nd cousins all very happy to see me with hand shakes and hugs. We all sat around a table enjoying each others company. My witness aunt and uncle did come in and sit by us. My witness uncle said a couple things to me but not much and his wife wouldn't say a word to me directly but would talk around me to my girlfriend and son even mentioning my name occasionly. If I looked her way I would gently smile but she looked VERY uncomfortable and would always look away. I imagine she will be talking with my parents about this episode.
One of my cousins asked me and later my girlfriend how I was dealing with all the shunning and he couldn't understand why my family would do it. He said, 'that is so unnecessary!'. They have been dealing with this crap for a long time though so they "get it".
At the end it was time to go and my uncle (from the beginning of my story) leaned in close to me and held onto my hand and said,'I want to tell you something. I know you have lost most of your family but you will ALWAYS have us." I think I might have had a bit of a tear in my eye after that and told him how much I appreciated that and gave him a big hug. More hugs from the others and plans for getting together soon!
To all those lurkers out there who wonder if it worth losing family and friends to be honest with yourself about the borg and follow your instincts and your heart I say: YES! Without a doubt. In time all who are truly friends and family flock together with you...