Terry.....I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Sad News Orangefatcat's husband died this morning.
by orangefatcat 122 Replies latest jw friends
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AlphaOmega
I am sorry to hear that.
You are in all our thoughts and prayers.
AO
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carla
My deepest sympathiesYou and your family will be in my thoughts.
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Blueblades
Terry! And Jesus Wept! We are weeping with you. Try and take good care of yourself, he would want you to. You are in our thoughts during this trying time of loss.
Blueblades
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new light
Deepest condolences, OFC.
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ICBehindtheCurtain
(((((((Terry))))))))My condolences to you....I've been away...just saw this...you will be in our thoughts and prayers
IC
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orangefatcat
I am so overwhelmed by the kindness and condolances of each and every one of you. Knowing that you have so many caring friiends on JWD proves that our love for each other is as strong as ever
It was difficult this morning when I awoke to find myself alone and wondering to myself will I be able to get over this.
I had to get out early this morning before Church. So I went and a coffee at the very place Marco and I met for the first time ten years ago. As I was sitting at the dinner my mind travelled back to the days we would chat he at one corner of the counter and I at the other end of the counter. It made me think how eventually he would come and sit closer to me over the next year and a half. By 1999 he was sitting right beside me as I did my morning ritual drinking coffee and doiing the crossword puzzle. Little did I realize that by the time he was sitting beside me I was smitten, but couldn't admit it. By December 23rd of 99 we became lovers and our live was like a fairy tale until he became ill two or so years ago.
It started gradually his memory loss. Simple things he would forget, but I just said it was an age thing. We would travel all over the country side in our earlier years having no set destination but to just start the van and go and we never really cared where we would end up. We stretch our legs and have a coffee and light dinner and be out again some times til late at night. But when Marco lost his drivers license he became quieter and was more so upset that we no longer had a vehicle, but that was okay then as he wasn't to drive. He missed our trips and going to the beaches in the summers and as the last two years he became an introvert not wanting to do anything any more. but he would go and play cards at the Senior meeting place in our town and he would come home have supper watch television. His memory was failiing and then in May of this year when I was in the hospital very ill with a rare form of pneumonia, Marco seemed to loss interest in himself he was so worried about me, he wasn't eating, and sleeping. I think he thought I was going to die. He looked terrible when he would come to see me, and I sugested he see the doctors in emergency but he wouldln't . I was so relieved when I got home 10 days later and then I really came to see that he was not well at all. Two days later on May13th he went to emergency and was admitted into the hospital as he had had a heart attack that morning and didn't know it. The doctors were going to do the surgery on his heart and do a valve replacement but because of his memory loss they were concerned that if they stopped his heart and go on an external machine would do the work of his heart but when they would have to jump start his heart again they feared that the lack of oxygen ,full dementia would happen so they decided not to do the surgery. His kidneys were acting up as well. By the time June 14th came around the hospital said there was nothing that they could do so they sent him home with a personal nurse and a nurse who would come and do his vitals everyday for the first week and in the second wk they came twice a wk. They said also his kidneys were functioning good and no cause for alarm. But they were very wrong.
I knew he wasn't well, his kidneys were bothering him, he was peeing alot and then it seem rd to become less frequent. The odour of his urine was ranccet so I told him we will go to see the family doctor. But the doctor put him on anti biotics and said he should be fine. Two days later which brings us to the past Wednesday Marco's breathing was very laboured, yet he wouldn't take his inhalers or take his nitro and I couldn't forc e him. He was up all that night in pain. Early in the morning of Thursday he didn't wake me up he got the telephone book to call a taxi, to take him to the hospital . When I awoke he wasn't here and my electric wheel chair was still here at home. So I got ready and went to the hospital and he was in the acute emergency unit. He was in terrible pain and cold as ice cubes his feet were dark blue and that had me really worried. Their was no cirulation to his extremites. His back was in terrible pain (kidneys I expected), so the nurse put him on his side cleaned him up and tucked him in with a lot of warm blankets. He then finally feel asleep and that was around 3 pm on Thurs, I came home and then I feel asleep. My son called the hospital and they told him they were admitting him but were waitning for a room. Then on Friday morning at 2;15 am., the hospital called and said Marco had taken a turn for the worse and to get to the hospital asap. I did, and when I got there I had to wait while a doctor put a tube down his throat. He was hooked up to the monitor for vital signs and there were about 8 different bags of medications going through his IV. In the next hour or so, alarms were going off,
Then one nurse told me that he had flat lined twice before I was called to the hospital . HIs chart had a Do Not Resusitate. and no life support systems . Well they hadn't paid any attention to that order. Then the nurse asked me to leave the room as his heart was acting up again and then they said he was okay it was a lead wire that wasn't hooked up right. Shortly thereafter his blood pressure read some very small number on top and zero on the bottom his oxegyn level was at 30, and his heart was making crazy lines on the scrren.
They asked me to leave the room. The nurse called me back in and said it is bad what shall we do. I said don't try to start his heart again and then still while on life supports system his heart line was almost flat. I said please unplug it and let him be and then I w as beside him, he had been unconscience the whole time from the time arrived at 215 am. I held his hands and squeezed and yet he didn't respond in anyway, not a thing . I was certain at this point he may already was brain dead, and the rest just followed. A massive coranary. at 5:15 am and I helld his hand while he blew a last small heave and it was all over. Oh yes if forgot the nurse called my son and my son arrived moments before Marco passed . It was extremely hard and all I did was cry and cry . My son was crying and holding on to me so tightly as I sobbed uncontrolably. I just wanted to get on the strecther and hold his body to mine, but that wasn't possible because of my own heallth problems.
I have cried an ocean of tears and yet I know he is at peace and in pain no longer and no more Alzhiemers.
Our lives were like a adventure we loved each other very much and he always put me first no matter what. He treated me like a queen. No one could have asked for a better husband, friend or lover. He was my life.
I have recieved in the last day a dozen cards and flowers from friends and neighbours.
I had a wonderful afternoon yesterday with the Pastors and I feel a little bit better and I think I can become stronger. I know the number of prayers and wonderful thoughts of so many people that God is giving me the strength to carry on.
Dear friends , may you each be blessed for your kindnesses towards me . ((((((((((((hugs ))))))))))
all my love
OrangefatcatTerry
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Doubting Bro
Terry,
My deepest condolences. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Snoozy
Terry I am so sorry..I too know the pain of losing a husband you love so much. You think you will never stop crying and it feels like your heart is breaking... I still feel like half of my heart is gone.
I too came to this board when hubby was very sick and dying..I received so much support I would sit and cry while I read all the wonderful and encouraging posts..
Big hugs to you and your family..
Snoozy..
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AndersonsInfo
Dear Terry,
You and Marco made the most of your lives together and he will live in your memories. He was a good and loving man who brought a song to your heart. Now the song, from beginning to end, you will find again in the heart of a friend. You have many friends who weep with you and are concerned about you at this most sorrowful time.
We deeply sympathize.
Barbara and Joe