I always felt a bit confused and ambivalent about both Jehovah and Jesus, when I was a JW and still now. Jehovah is often an angry, vengeful God, yet at times he seems patient, generous, and willing to overlook humans stupid mistakes. Jesus is clearly portrayed as much more loving, merciful and gracious than Jehovah in the OT is, but the dichotomy has always bothered me and left me struggling to feel genuine love for Jehovah, who appears somewhat schizophrenic in scripture. Jesus at least seems much more consistent, loveable and kindly.
But I still find it hard to have real, deep love for anyone who is so aloof and distant. What has Jesus done for anyone in the last 2,000 years? I know the JW's have answers for that about the issue of universal sovereignty, etc, but still, I find it impossible to really love such a distant figure sitting out there in some other dimension seemingly so blaze about all the terrible suffering and wickedness that has gone on the last 2,000 years. I love what I read about what Jesus purportedly did all those centuries ago, but I find it impossible to love someone purely on reputation only and mere promises for the future. Love has to be based on actions, not words and concepts. So many Christians go on about how much Jesus has helped them with this and that but has he really? But what about all the countless millions in the world who got no help from Jesus? All the extreme emotion displayed by so many contemporary Christians, who swear Jesus is a real, living, helping influence in their life - I just don't feel that at all, despite many attempts to 'get it'. It always ends up feeling like maudlin and sentimentalism.
So I'd say my love for Jehovah and Jesus is more or less dormant, unfertilized. If and when they intervene to save the world and end wickedness I will be the first to get down on my knees, open my heart to them, and cry tears of joy. I guess I need a bit more than an ancient book to make me really 'love' someone.