Am I being dumb?

bluebell

I really and truly believe that my father did not abuse either of my two younger sisters, just me. My one sister was abused by my brother, which makes me think he was abused so as to act like that.

I left the JW's after finding he could get responsibilities again and because I realised that I would always be viewed as bad association no matter how hard I tried because I just didn't fit in.

I never wanted to take it any further than the congregation because I did not want to rip my family apart.

BUT if I had a child I would not let him alone with them.

Can someone just abuse one victim (maybe two if my bro was abused as I think he was)? Or do they always abuse more?

BlackSwan of Memphis

My father molested my sister and not me. I DO believe he molested one other person in the family circle, but have no evidence to back it up, so it is only a suspicion.

nvrgnbk

No you're not.

Sorry bluebell.

Have you talked to your siblings about your concerns?

Sorry Blue, I thought it would be easy to look up a statistic about the likelihood of an abuser abusing only one child, or one gender of children, in his family. Turns out it wasn't. I couldn't find anything on it. Hopefully someone more in touch with the stats can find you something.

Dave

Missanna

well from my experience an abuser usually have more than one victim. Take my brother for instance he abused my sister before me but moved on to me when she got older. i think that it has to do with the age. but i also don't think an abuser is just happy with one victim. I'm so sorry for what you did and still are going through. i'm still trying to cope. hang in there.

Quentin

Can someone just abuse one victim (maybe two if my bro was abused as I think he was)? Or do they always abuse more?

That's a tuff question to answer....there will be those that say no, those that say yes and all the comments in between....

My personel opinon from what I know is a pedophile does not stop with one, or two victums...anymore than a seril killer stops...it is a repetitive behavior...which may, or may not have long peroids of time between victums...and no you would not want to leave any child alone with them....

free2think

No you're not bluebell.

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

quietlyleaving

(((((((bluebell)))))))

Can someone just abuse one victim (maybe two if my bro was abused as I think he was)?

My answer to you is yes an abuser can abuse just one or two children in a bigger family. They can form a 'relationship' with a favourite child and only abuse that one.

Or do they always abuse more?

not always but usually imo.

don't have any statistics though.

Hortensia

your instinct is right, when/if you have children, do not ever under any circumstances leave them alone with someone you know is a pedophile. These folks can be really creative about getting access to children, and even will make you look bad to put you on the defensive and make you give in in spite of your instincts. The thing to do is tell the truth to the pedophile - why can't you babysit my children? You molested me. I don't trust you and I'm not changing my mind about it.

Mum

No, blue, it has nothing to do with being dumb.

In a Psychology class I took once, there was a lecture about child abuse. The professor, who had studied the problem, stated that one child would be singled out for all or most of the abuse. If that child were removed from the family, another child would be abused.

I think some of us are easier targets than others. Bullies can spot an easy target from a mile away with one eye closed. They know who they can pick on and get away with it. People who appear not to be confident are targeted by criminals by the way they walk and carry themselves.

If you are targeted a lot (I am), here are some strategies that can help: Walk tall and confidently. Speak as if you know (confidence again). Seek support of others. Have a healthy diet and get exercise. Do fun things with friends.

Regards,

SandraC