by student1 20 Replies latest social relationships
If you do, how long do you get to know them before you do? also is telling prospective mates about your past just a big no no cos it screams out baggage!
Yes lashings of baggage is what this evil religion has left me with! Sorry im being somewhat melodramatic and really needed to vent!
Thanks xxxxxxxx
I haven't tried to get a new mate since leaving but I don't see a problem with letting them no that. It sure wouldn't have to be something mentioned from day one, but it can eventually be told. If you're a good person im pretty sure they won't hold you once being a JW in a negative light.
"prospective mates" thats so JW !
Here in Britain "mates" are the guys you go out for a drink with.
Not on a first date.
But usually by the third date.
I married him and HE decided to become a jw.. Fortunately,he left shortly after I did. But I never twisted his arm...he was a better jw than I ever was...the elders still kicked him in the patootie.
It will sort out the men from the boys or the women from the girls.
Blondie
Yes. Whenever I was dating - I might go out with gals more than once. If we got to 'date' number three or four, it might come up in conversation. Mainly, because I want to know how 'religious' they are. I didn't want to get shackled to a 'praise the lord' type of person.
But - I told my wife - long before we got engaged. She also told me HER background, too.
I think that ex-JWs make too big a deal out of their 'JW-ness'. ex-JWs aren't an exclusive 'club'. Others in society have similar backgrounds - whether it be religious, or other.
One is only affected by their JW-background - if they let it control them.
Regards,
Jim TX
Well I say, if you really feel the need to tell them, tell them. Every case has its own particular circumstanses and there is no right or wrong way to handle it. Honesty is always good but just when or how approach this issue depends on a whole lot of variables, there is no iron clad answers or formula.
My JW past was always a topic of conversation before real dating even began.
Married three times and all my wives have found this song amusing. Man I hate this song!
Are you dating or marrying these people?
"Mates" sounds like you are on a mission for a spouse, which means you're are definately on the dating fast-track. It's your personal business but why the rush?
Obviously if it's someone you are going to marry - it will and should come up, in my opinion.
If you're just dating it's not like your opening line is, "Hello my name is JimBob and I'm a Libra, I like long walks on the beach, I value honesty, and by the way I used to be a Jehovah's Witness, but I'm not anymore, however I think I may have some hang-ups."
It usually comes up naturally in the conversation. It's not generally something that needs to be forced. Plus, to most "worldly" people - it's really not a big deal. They won't really understand why you're so worked up about it and feel the need to "lay it all out there".
Like I said, if you're just dating - you'll end up telling some people who inquire, or you just may not tell some of them at all, but if you're serious with someone and intend on marrying them - like I said - most likely it will come up at somepoint before you pop any questions about a forever-after with them, as it should.
Only if I was going to introduce the lucky guy to my parents...best to prewarn of strange behavior.
I met my husband while I was fading. I had to tell him so he could understand where I was coming from. It also explained why I had some serious hang ups about certain things. He was very understanding and helped me complete my fade.
Purza
