Well folks, it HAD to happen, I returned to the Kingdom Hall.
Or at least to its parking lot.
But not to worry my little JWD'ers, my return was in true RollerStyle!
I had dropped off my mom a few days previous when she made some remarks that steamed me, I had felt she was talking through her teeth, but I now know I could only have been half right.
She calls and rambles a while, then directs me to keep her teeth safe. After I got the explanation for this cryptic remark from her I go and investigate....
There, on my bathroom counter, next to the tushie-cleanliness paraphernalia, is an unexplained white plastic container which contained my mother's lower plate.
Smelled 'minty.'
They had to be returned, and I had to go to costco, so I resigned myself to driving way across town. I figured it would be a good chance to show her my monstrous ground-pounder of a truck.
She informs me she has meeting, so I volunteer to pick her up...
(insert evil laugh...)
So here it is late wed, the sales meeting/misery school is just letting out and the rank and filers are rankly filing out to their field-misery-friendly vehicles of pious modesty when a rolling thunder enters the kigdumbass hell parking lot.
The slowly rolling, thunderous vehicle cast a brilliant light upon the dark denizens of the spiritual charnel house as they start with alarm.
The herd is spooked.
This is not the kind of vehicle a witness would own, its seven and a half feet tall, twenty one feet long, Atlantic blue and gleaming chrome, it does not even TRY to be modest.
It rumbles and rolls through the lot and pulls up to the curb. A rear door opens and the dome light begins to shine on a person known to almost everyone there, the infamous Rollerdave! The apostate himself, Donna's son.
Leather Harley hat, ponytail, beard, Support our troops magnets, earring. It is known that he votes, and is armed.
Gather your children close, faithful dub mommies, this man has left the fold and knows things you don't want to. He can set you free but freedom is uncertain and scary.
A footstool is set up next to the truck by Rollerdave's daughter, who is dressed for summer! not buttoned up to the neck, draped and concealed, but dressed for style and she has her WORLDLY BOYFRIEND with her!
The males try not to let their cold fish wives see them looking as she helps her grandmother up into the Aposta-truck.
After a lap of the lot, buzzing the dubs, the evil apparition departs.
I knew most of those people who trembled like mice at the sight of me. I've eaten with them, knocked on doors, stomped around screeching, tried to enslave minds, we were buds.
Without them I was not supposed to matter or function, but in truth, they are the ones suspended in meaninglessness.
My triumph was not in returning, flaunting my in-your-faceness, or my aposta-excellence...
My ultimate triumph is that I roared out of there.
If they knew what was good for them, they would have roared out of there too.
Roller (of the 'in-your-face escapee' sheep class)