Can a JW have a relationship with a non-JW(me)

geotsou

If the girl is baptized already really into it, is there any way she could build a relationship with me? Do I even have a chance to develop something with her or is it just a castle made of sand?

I wouldn't say its impossible, but I know its very hard, my sister married a worldly guy, with the hope that she could change him, he is very meek but stands firm on his beliefs and respects hers, last summer we talked and he cried about how difficult it is trying to be understanding for Memorial, Conventions, special talks, but my sister will not budge on birthdays, holidays, or attending his church. I know he goes through a lot, I feel bad for him but tell him that she will never change, but she will expect you to change, and that as a christian head of the house she does have to respect him. I won't tell you to break it off with the person you are interested in but your in for an uphill battle.

Dragonlady76

She should not marry outside her religion according to the JW's

I would stay away unless you want to be miserable.

ex-nj-jw

She will spend the rest of your life trying to convert you, and if you don't she will see you in a different light. The love won't be the same after she figures out that you want no part in the JW way of life.

This is not just a religion it's a lifestyle. If you are not ready for that or can't handle that, I suggest you count your losses and move on. Find a nice woman a that will respect you for who you are.

nj

Highlander

Don't do it.

You can forget about normal things such as birthdays, holidays, voting/politics, hobbies and events that involve a majority of worldly(non-jws) people.

Much of her time will be spent at 5 meetings per week at the kingdom hall. She's required to spend time each month preaching, and that will include preaching to you as her ultimate goalis to convert you to the religion(cult).

Let's also discuss some more serious topics that could involve your life or shall I say death. If you are ever to need a blood transfusion and it is up to your j-dub wife to make the decision as you are incapicitated, then you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye. J-dubs are required to refuse blood based on whatever their current blood doctrine is at that particular time.

How about kids? Will you allow your j-dub wife to raise your kids as witnesses that will in turn be taught to view you as a dead person. Your children could eventually choose to shun you or at least limit their association with you due to your status as a worldly person(non-jw).

My jw wife tells me that she loves jehovah more than she loves me. She tells me that if she has to choose only one, she will choose jehovah over me. Are you prepared for that type of relationship? Are you willing to play 'second fiddle' to jehovah?

Are you ok with having some of your money donated to the kingdom hall. This can come in the form of your jw wife driving a certain type of car for preaching(a 4 door is desirable). She may be the type that donates 100 dollars to them every month. Are you ok with that?

If you don't convert to a witness, then you will most likely be excluded from associating with her friends and family. They try to avoid any and all contact with non-believers, so you will basically live a separate life from your wife when it comes to her friends and associates.

Does all of this sound good to you?

I'm just scratching the surface here. I spent all of a few minutes typing this out. Give all of the excellent posters on this board an opportunity to reply you will be overwhelmed with examples of the hardship and hurt that non-jws experience due to the cult behavior of their jw spouses.

My suggestion for you:

RUN!!!

Chameleon

It's not worth it.

bigdreaux

ditto to all the above. run fast brother, run very fast.

What-A-Coincidence

joannadandy

Not worth the effort - she will always love her God more than you -- unless of course you convert. It's best to let that whole can of worms remain unopened. Find a girl who has her priorties straight.

sparrow

If you don't have any heart strings attached yet I definitely agree - run away. However if you think she is worth it and it's worth a try I would only go into it with the view of getting her out. I got involved with a non-JW after I was disfellowshipped thinking I would go back later and hopefully she would come along. THANK GOD (or someone) SHE DID GO OUT WITH ME and she helped me stay out and eventually wake up to myself after a few years.

Be prepared if it doesn't work out like that though - like I said sometimes it's better to leave well alone...