by DJK 29 Replies latest jw friends
You did nothing wrong DJK.
My point with my previous comment, I hope it wasn't misunderstood, was that we do what we can to prevent tragedy.
Yet, it goes on all around us. If there is a higher power with the ability to prevent it all, that power has chosen to do nothing.
That you care so much says a great deal about you as a person.
DjK,
I appreciate your worry and concern about forseeing tragedy and thinking you could have prevented it......but it is not your fault concerning the horrendous accident you came across upon your return.
The night my brother died, I begged my parents not to let my brother go out on his friends bike. I felt there was something going to wrong but could not put my finger on it......despite my efforts my brother died testing his friends Harley because the chain snapped.
Your insight was correct but it could have been a different set of deer, someone could have slammed into them on the side lines and caused an accident, etc., etc., etc.,......
Hyper-vigilance does not stop what we worry about
You are a special person for feeling so bad, but don't, none of us can stop future events. We can get "feelings" about things, but in most cases not stop what is about to occur.
r.
They say "hindsight is 20/20". Don't beat yourself up. You had no way of knowing what the dear would do, they are unpredictable animals. And thaks for the "heads up" on this issue.
changeling
It's the damn people, they shouldnt be riding through the woods in their cars. People are a virus on this earth.
Hello Tara. The area around 495 and 95 are heavily populated with deer. They do cross there often. Massachusettes overall is overpopulated with deer. Growing up we would have to do some traveling to see a deer and to see one would be a rare opportunity. Nowadays they walk into our backyard and eat our shrubs. You probably have that in your area. With fawns coming out of hiding now, I hope a scene like this one isnt repeated. I'm watching NECN and so far there is no report on it. I hope no one was killed. Still looking forward to meeting you. DJK Hi. When I lived in Wakefield they would come into my yard in the winter. I had as many as five at a time in my yard on several occasions. Big piece of property with a lot of overgrown grass and woods in the back and Breakheart practically across the street. They would leave circular patterns in the grass where they would sleep. Two summers ago I was down the Cape and one came out of the woods and bounded so fast and gracefully across the street in front of the car. The deer timed it very well as I had no clue it was coming and couldn't have stopped if it's timing was off. Even though it could have been disasterous it was an awesome thing to witness. I am looking forward to meeting you, too.
Remember the butterfly effect. Had you changed one thing you did the future would be different for everybody. Not necessarily better, just different. : )
Not your fault at all. You may have been the cause of the accident if you
tried to stop and scare them off. Also, you don't know for a fact what
happened. For all you know, someone else tried to do what you thought
you should have done, causing the deer to run into the road.
For all you know, this is a different deer from the ones you saw.
Don't dismiss that. I used to travel this section of highway every week and
in the peak of their season, I would see several deer along a section of the
road near an on-ramp. I and everyone else did not try to scare the deer
away. Each driver was responsible for their own driving. AND things
happen.
I think sometimes we don't realize how our actions really affect things around us.... When it hits home that what we do matters, it really jerks us around emotionally.
Its like that feeling you get when we nearly miss death.
Its scarey ...
But that doesn't make you responsible for it. What if you delay in going when the light turns green and then the car behind you gets creamed by someone running the red light. If you would have gone when you should have, they would still be alive. But the truth is that the person who ran the light is responsible and not you ...
I hope you are ok and not taking it too hard. You had no way of knowing. And likely there was nothing you could have done. You can't guard all the deer crossings in the world.
I still don't want to downplay your feelings because you have a right to feel however you want after seeing such a tradegy. I just hope you feel better soon.
Renee
Thanks everyone. We know how the news hounds can be and it didn't make the news. I'll bet everyone will be alright. DJK
I think one of the most difficult distinctions for us to make in our lives, is understanding what we have control over and what we are responsible for. If we have no control over a situation, we have no responsibility for the situation. Does that mean we should try and take control of a situation whenever we see a need?
What are you going to do? Police the side of the highway for deer 24/7 for the rest of your life? There is way too much highway in this world and not enough of you. Where I live, we have tame deer everywhere. Every yard has pet deer that come to munch daily. I am not exaggerating. We have 4 deer in our yard every night. I do not live in the woods either, but in a busy residential area. With lots of trees admittedly. It is also a winding, narrow, road that is unlit at night. Deer cross constantly day and night. Most of the time you can see them in advance and slow down in case they might dart out in front of your car. Many times you just cannot see them at night and I have had to slam on the breaks and screech my tires a few times.
Today on my way home, I saw a litte fawn with spots still on, dead by the side of the road, the neighbourhood crows pecking away at the body. I felt a moment of sadness and then moved on, reminded to drive a little more cautiously on this road for life is precious. Then I let it go.
You have to let it go. Life is full of random accidents, some preventable and some not. Death is a part of it. Playing the "if only" game is a recipe for insanity. If only you had stopped and chased the deer away from the side of highway, they may have returned 10 minutes later and another car may have hit them and maybe 6 people would have died instead of 3. Who knows? Just let it go. It leads nowhere but needless guilt and suffering on your part.
Cog
