by minimus 67 Replies latest jw friends
I took my time and weighed what I was reading online....and once I had read "Lifton's list on determining Cult Criteria" I had NO DOUBT in my mind at all. It hurt terribly to realize I had wasted 30 years of MY life and my kid's lives in raising THEM in the WTS.....but I had no trouble writing my DA letter and cutting my ties with the evil Christ-dishonoring and family shredding CULT.
It all took about eight months of research, prayer and tears, to finally see the truth about the troof.
I just stopped going to meetings this April. Although I've know for many years I did not want to be a JW leaving is hard. My mind is 100% but my heart feels like a fish out of water.
totally certain that it was the right path to leave the JWs, although as Nana said, my leaving was so gradual, it didn't seem like a decision, more like the absence of decision. Distance has clarified my vision and I know what a crock of s*** the WTBTS is.
I had some doubt for a month or two and then I decided that if I went back, I would have to live as a JW from now till death. So if they were right in the end, I would live as a JW and then go to paradise. If they were wrong, I would live as a JW and then go to hell.
If I became a Christian, I would live my life this so very happy and then go to heaven. If they were wrong, I would live this happy life and then take a dirt nap forever.
If I became an Athiest, I got to live a live full of immorality and drunkedness (Not that all athiests are this way -- but I WOULD BE!) and then take a dirt nap. If the Christians were right, I would live that life and then go to hell.
I just like the choices of being a Christian the best. .. Right -- heaven Wrong -- dirt nap. .. and happy in between.
But in all seriousness --
I'm 100% sure that I did the right thing. I just can't live like that if they are right or wrong.
Joining them was my wrong decision. Things began to change for the worse the moment I stepped out of the baptismal pool. They had their statistic, so the congregation could now dispense with the nice guy facade. Within a year it became obvious I would never be fully accepted by those who were raised as JWs. Unfortunately, by that time I was already interested in a pioneer™ sister™, so I stuck it out.
My wrong decision was not in leaving, but in the timing. I should have done it 20 years sooner.
W
I was in doubt for a few years after leaving, having no other xdubs to compare "notes" with or any kind of support other than myself to rely on. The fear lingered for some time. But that was a long time ago. I have no fear or doubts now.
I'm not cautious about using the word "sure" for certain things. I'm sure that my mother loves me.I'm sure that I no longer believe JWs are "The Truth". I'm sure that their prophetic examinations have been altered and proven to be false. I'm sure that the End didn't come in 1975 and that the dates before and after for the end of the system has been wrong.
Are you 100% sure that leaving the Organization was the right decision?
You're joking aren't you?
I was very sure intellectually...
But it took some time for my heart to agree...
I even had a time I thought the wt was the best system there was on earth, the perfect mind control to prevent war, racial prejudice etc.
Deus Mauzzim
There are moments when I question the wisdom of leaving, like when I stumble upon some old books and mags of mine. But, they are short lived moments. I just come here and remember all of the experiences that I had while in that are so similar to all of yours, then I am very glad to be free. The list of cult and high control churches compares with JW. That does it every time.
