Wow, Jehovah_God! You really ARE awesome! Too bad you like "Friends", though - I can't take more than 3 1/2 minutes of that crap before I turn to the Discovery Channel, or something. A few questions, if you don't mind:
1. Why is Fred Hall allowed to exist? Is he here to test us, or just annoy the living shit out of us?
2. How come women don't have 3 boobs? Wouldn't that make more sense? Seems to me that men, having only 2 hands, could only engage 2 boobs at a time, thus giving the third one a break. Women could then determine which boobs get man-handled, and which one gets a rest, on a rotating basis. This could save a lot of wear & tear. Just a thought.
3. I'm not from Chicago, but can you do something about the Cubs? Seems a lot of folks in that area could use a pick-me-up.
4. On the subject of sports, is Michael Jordan 100% human, or what? He has done some really amazing shit that doesn't seem humanly possible. Should we take it as a hint that he's now playing for the Washington Wizards?
5. Same question as #4, but applied to Michael Jackson. Come on, now - give us the low-down.
Oh, yeah - and thanks for sending me my fiancee, Jacqueline. She's the best thing that ever happened to me! (No joke here, just me being schmaltzy).
--Michael
"Any day spent NOT knocking on doors is a good day!"