Mom is fed up, about to leave Dad......

by R.F. 17 Replies latest jw experiences

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  R.F.

  My mom is fed up now and wants to leave my dad now.

  She wants to do it VERY soon. The interesting thing is I was planning on moving out in a few months, but Mom seems to be planning on leaving way before then. So im going to just move with her to help her with bills for a little while. I love my dad, but I really knew this was coming from a mile away. They almost split quite a few times as I was growing up. My dad, knowing that I wanted to please Jehovah, use to say this to me and my siblings in our very early childhood years........

  "You know when your mom leaves and you go with her you won't be in Jehovah's favor. You know she doesn't go to meetings."

  He knew that I would pick living with her over him in a hot second and he plays the mind game on us like that.

  But anyhow, i'm looking at the positive side of this. I planned on leaving anyways, especially with the constant interrogation by my father about meeting attendance. My mom doesn't question me and knows I have my own life to live. Too, I don't or wouldn't do anything on my own that I wouldn't do while living with them, so now I don't wanna rush. I think it's very apparent that they shouldn't be together anymore. My brother is still at home too and he feels the same. He can't stand living with dad either.

  So the plan is...move with mom, help her out for a little while, build up my savings even more, all while getting rid of all of the guilt tripping my dad puts on me. It's sad that it would have to turn out this way, but it's definitely for the best. Again I just try to look at the positive side of things now.

  R.F.
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  minu

  that's a tough decision, go with your gut, which is what you seem to be doing. everything will work out eventually.
• 

  AWAKE&WATCHING

  I am sorry about your situation. Sounds like it may be best.((((R.F.)))))
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I don't know you and your situation, but you are an adult who hates living at home.
  You can move with Mom and help her out, or you can be on your own.

  With Mom missing meetings, there won't be any pressure on you to go, but you
  might be in the middle between Mom and Dad.

  I am just saying this because you don't have two choices- MOM or DAD.
  You have many choices.

  You could even strike first. Move out before Mom does, and tell her she can
  stay at your home. I know it sounds like the same thing as moving in with her,
  but it really isn't. You can make a move toward your own decisions, and
  retain the status of one who moved out. It would be "your home" that she
  is living in, not hers that you are living in. Semantics make a difference.
• 

  R.F.

  Thank you everyone.

  OTOWO - I wouldn't necessarily say I hate living at home. I would just like to be on my own. I'm definitely of age to do so, and that's besides the fact that I was close to getting married. I get where you're coming from though, i'm definitely not confined to two options. I just feel I can relax even more than I have lately, while at the same time, getting the JW monkey off my back. Just trying to see how patience pays off. For some reason I just know there won't be this feeling of being caught in the middle of something difficult.

  R.F.
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  sparrow

  I think it is a good thing if you moved in with your mum to help with the bills and her to get settled - even temporarily. When 2 people don't get along and the situation isn't ever going to change it is the best thing for everyone they don't stay in the same rut.

  I freaked out when my mum left the first time and tried to get in the middle and fix things. All it got me was a hell of a lot of stress only for them to split up later anyway. Since they did and they both settled in there new lives (always is some bumpy bits) things are now awesome. There is a lot more happiness in our family...

  Good luck

  -sparrow
• 

  dawg

  "the positive side of things""? What you don't see that? It's getting the hell away from idiots.pure unadultrated fools and making a life on your own.... this is my cause du jour, my raision d etre... and this isn't you damn happiest moment? run... run... run to the light
• 

  TheListener

  ROFLMAO at Dawg's post.

  R.F. - sounds like you've thought it through for quite some time. Help your mom and be a good son. That's cool. Just don't become too involved in her life. Make sure to keep your separate identity (psychologically speaking).
• 

  justhuman

  That is a sad thing. You know I had to leave my family due to my disfellowship. My wife she was always fighting, and shouting because I left the " truth". It was a very hard decision. I tried to help her that we both could get out from this cult. She just woudn't listen. She loved the old guys in Brooklyn more than me.

  The story went on for 6 years, with shouts and fightings. I had to go because there was no peace in the house, and my 2 little children were growing in a bad inviroment. She told me that she does not allow me to talk to my children regarding my new faith(Christian Orthodox)and in no way I could bring home my christian books,Bible(the original Greek Texts) and wear my cross...

  I know it hurts a lot. But with this cult there is no way to reason with them. But I talk to my young kids about Jesus everytime that I see them, and show them that God is LOVE.

  Wish you all the best..
• 

  helncon

  I really knew this was coming from a mile away. They almost split quite a few times as I was growing up.

  I had this as well. I guess you always see things from a different perspective when you are older.

  Hope it works out for you

  Helen