Another Harrowing Rollerdave Tale

by RollerDave 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • RollerDave
    RollerDave

    My day started well enough, going for a drive with thirty crisp fresh hundred dollar bills in my pocket, my lovely shiny truck and my best gal.

    Ahh, life was sweet!

    We got fueled up at Sam's Club filling station because it was cheap as hell, wound up using the same space/pump as when our van died and needed major work, we laughed frivolously about this amusing happenstance, tee hee.

    BEEP!

    Huh? A warning? look! a light is on! It says "Check Gauges"

    Whoah! Lookit the temp gauge! Youzer!

    So we shut 'er down, and fill 'er up, hoping its a glitch of some ugly sort.

    Uh, no.

    We get to a valvoline rapid oil change place and have 'em check the coolant, it's seemingly DRY!

    How very odd!

    There has been no sign of deviation from the factory delineated 'normal' mark on the temp gauge, now it's quite suddenly dry?

    Well, they filled it up, looked it over, no obvious leaks, water pump looks/sounds fine, yet it drank like a camel. Beeezarrr.

    But it was holding well, so we decided to see HOW WELL. by taking a long drive to a random location quite a distance away that we had happened to make an appointment to see a boat the day before.

    It takes real foresight and preparedness to make random and spontaneous appointments the day before, or maybe a time machine....

    But I dissemble.

    Long drive, many many many orange trucks hauling whatever orange trucks haul when they divert traffic everywhere. We have two seasons here in Minnesota, Winter and road construction.

    Stop at wally World to buy hitch stuff, and then we were there, at the spontaneous random location, as expected, and there she was.

    She was a beauty, classic lines, showing signs of the years that, while being kind to her, had undeniably passed. It had been some time for her shut in, away from the sun and the wind, and she longed to get out on the water again, and stretch out her legs like the old times, but those times had passed and she despaired that it might be time to pack it in.

    Eighteen feet long, covered by a custom made boat cover, and resting on an almost new Shorelander trailer, The Lady was ready to entertain visitors.

    When she was uncovered, her chrome glinted, her pristine vinyl shone, and her paint did its best to gleam... The old gal pulled out all the stops to impress these latest visitors in the hopes they would take her home, let her run flat out once again; and from the look in Becky's eyes, it was working. Heck, I could feel that stack of hundreds trying to climb out of my pocket!

    The nice folks lowered the the out-drive into a big tank of water and let the old gal roar to life! 230 cube 150hp Chevy in-line six, just like my old Malibu!

    I wondered why she hadn't sold yet, and they said most people thought she was too old; Yet she was no older than I, a Deluxe 1965 model!

    As I counted out hundred dollar bills to the nice man, I almost think the old boat winked at me.

    He hooked up and drove off, gingerly at first because we were being followed very closely by a vehicle damn-near as big as the truck!

    The truck was a pulling machine, the light was golden, traffic gave me a wide berth and a lingering gaze, and the old gal rode proudly behind the apostatruck, a 1965 Mark Twain closed bow runabout finally feeling some wind at long last.

    There we sat at the bottom of the damnedest driveway you ever saw, I knew it was going to be a futhermucker getting that boat up that drive, damn-near vertical with a bend in the middle and trees close on both sides.

    Backwards.

    I knew it was going to be a bitch, that it would blow stringy goat-chunks, that it would be, at the very least a harrowing experience.

    I had no fucking idea.

    Turn left! Turn Right! straighten it out, go forward and try again! watch out for that tree! Oops, the wheels weren't straight, keep the boat on the drive, get the truck BACK ON the drive!

    What is that SCRAPING sound off my starboard beam?

    A FUCKING PHONE POLE that jumped out and scuffed my TRUCK! MY TRUCK!!!! ARRRRGH!

    Finally got the old gal on my parking pad, and almost all of the truck as well. I didn't leave any bits by the phone pole, but i just couldn't get the truck AND trailer on the pad at the same time.

    I just shut 'er down. the others here can find their own ways to park, that beast is where it is. they can try to nestle in on the drive itself under the truck's reproachful chrome glare, the Aposta-Truck don't like being scuffed. I'll have to get out the ol' Devilbiss paint gun and fix the clear-coat or my truck might never speak to me again. Might have to give it flames to make up for the indignity.

    And a class-3 hitch receiver under the front bumper, I am NEVER doing that again backwards!

    So, after I organize my Upper Mississippi Aposta-Shakedown, I might have to get together an ApostaCruise.

    All pictures at http://machinedreamer.com/pictures/Vehicles/Boat/

    Any suggestions for what to name the old gal?

    Roller (of the 'At least the temp guage held steady!' sheep class)

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Dave,

    I was wondering how you were going to get the Aposta-boat up the hill. Sorry to hear of the mishap.

    My vote for names -- for the boat is "El Dorado", and although you didn't ask I think the aposta-truck could be named "Big Wheels".

    Do Ya get my drift? These ideas came from out of the blue.

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    Hahahahahahahahaha

    Sorry for laughing, but I thought that kind of shit only happened to the old Stealthmeister. Wrong. hehe

    How about "APOSTABROAD".

  • Effervescent
    Effervescent

    You have a way with words... I enjoy your stories.

    Any suggestions for what to name the old gal?

    She was a beauty, classic lines, showing signs of the years that, while being kind to her, had undeniably passed. It had been some time for her shut in, away from the sun and the wind, and she longed to get out on the water again, and stretch out her legs like the old times, but those times had passed and she despaired that it might be time to pack it in.

    When she was uncovered, her chrome glinted, her pristine vinyl shone, and her paint did its best to gleam... The old gal pulled out all the stops to impress these latest visitors in the hopes they would take her home, let her run flat out once again;

    My first thought was "Mrs. Robinson"... the old gal's never too old for a good ride eh?

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    well obviously she has to be the "apostacruiser" as the mate to the "apostatruck"

    We have two seasons here in Minnesota, Winter and road construction. - you crack me up!

  • dawg
    dawg

    Two things roller... first you need to invite my crazy self ski... fdamn how do you spell skiiing? ANyway, then you need to get laid... the way you described the boat... you need some nookie

  • RollerDave
    RollerDave

    Gopher: the plan was to berth her at the bottom on the grass until the pad could be cleared, then bring her up forwards and jockey her about, but a certain crazy stalker should be receiving our restraining orders imminently, so it seemed inadvisable, plus she's a bigger boat than I pictured, I'd have to cut some trees down.

    On the plus side, Angie's fellow has the weekend off and has graciously volunteered for pad clearing duty.

    Stealth: If my day sounded like one's you have, my condolences. Although, looked at another way, I got a boat and only scuffed my clearcoat. Could have been worse!

    Hortensia: I like the terms Apostatruck and Apostacruiser, and will continue to use them here and at home; but so few people out in the evil wicked ol system that is about to soon blah blah blah would get the reference, I'm thinking that proper names are in order. But please, by all meant continue to use those terms if you wish. I know I will. "I named my apostatruck "____" and my apostacruiser "____".

    Effervescence: OMG! that is AWESOME! I'll have to bounce that one around here and see how high it can get.

    Dawg: Yeah, this thing is apparently some kind of mad crazy ski pulling freak. The wife of the previous owner whispers as an aside to Mrs Roller and myself when the dude went to get something "What I liked about it is it goes like a bat out of hell" As for getting some bunktime with Mrs Roller, Let's hope, shall we? It's been hectic around here for the last couple weeks.

    =============================

    So the game of 'naming volleyball' where we toss names around netted a couple good ones last night.

    My bid was for 'Barracuda' cus it sounds like one tough futhermucker, and my first car was a 1970 'Cuda which also had multiple carbs. One of my Fav Heart songs

    Everybody else here thinks 'Twilight' because of the song on ELO's Time album, the Boat would seem to be in her twilight years and the lyrics "Twilight, I only meant to stay a while..." and "you brought me here but can you take me back again?" seem to resonate.

    Hey, it's either real or it's a dream, there's nothing that is in-between!

    Roller (of the 'ELO listening' sheep class)

  • dawg
    dawg

    You're funny as hell roller

  • Mum
    Mum

    I am going to suggest names based on the Mark Twain connection:

    Aunt Polly (in her twilight years but tough as nails)

    Virginia C (for Mark Twain's time in Virginia City, which is in my neck of the woods)

    Calaveras Frog (for the famous jumping frog)

  • Open mind
    Open mind
    going for a drive with thirty crisp fresh hundred dollar bills in my pocket

    Had me worried with that phrase Roller. At first I thought you were headed down the road of "pharmaceutical entrepeneur".

    Great post!

    Open Mind

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