Do you look forwards, backwards or sideways?

by mtsgrad 24 Replies latest jw friends

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  quietlyleaving

  Now I have left I look back at all the wasted years, looking at the things I could have done. I know it is not productive, but I cannot help myself. Am I on my own? How do you look at life; forwards, backwards or sideways?

  mornin mtsgrad

  I think its healthy and productive to go though a period of mourning as it were for the losses you suffered. And sometimes the past can sit like a disabling obstacle in your forward path and obscure your vision, so you may need to take a sideways path too that seems to take you a little backwards in order to go forwards.

  So i think I 'm saying all three - forwards, backwards and sideways for a period of time.
• 

  BlackPearl

  Here's the answer;

  1. Look backwards, throw away and discard whatever it is that you don't like or want
  2. Look forwards, analyze what you didn't throw away (in other words, what you decided to keep) and use it to the best of your ability

  For me, this is how life works. I'm always looking for the good in everything, and discarding what I don't want from certain experiences. For example; you might go to a family reunion, and one family member is a loud mouthed drunk. You enjoyed your family reunion except for the drunk. Do you throw the whole thing out the window and say it was no good? No, you keep the good parts and discard the bad and regard it as useless. This is the decription of your life as witness, keep the good, and discard the bad. That's the only way you can move forward. You cannot think of it as wasting 30 years of your life, there were good lessons and things learned, keep them, and move on.

  BP
• 

  jaguarbass

  The Wactower took my planning years. So I just live one day at a time. Waiting to die since the day I was born.

  But its not so bad, I played a rock show last night, I live in Florida. I mostly look back when I respond to a post like yours, or when things are going bad in my life then I look back and say ahha its the witnoid factor. Sideways must be just one day at a time, keep on choogalin.

  Theres no fixin the Wactower years.
• 

  Madame Quixote

  All three, if you're a whole person.
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  Undecided

  I've lived over half my life as a JW, had many good times there but got fed up with all the responsibilities and just faded out and got a good life and have enjoyed it for the last 30 years. I can't look very far forward, not much time left, so I just try to enjoy the present but the kids and grandkids are crashing it right now with all their problems. My paternal daughter and her husband are doing great right now.

  I'm looking for something to look at that will bring some peace, whether forwards, backwards or sideways.

  Ken P.
• 

  IP_SEC

  Well what might help you to look forward would be to tell your wife you want sex. She dont? Tough titties. She might respect you more if you get some nuts and take what you want.
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  memario

  I've got a giant rear view mirror in the way a lot of times.

  I hear what your saying. The mirror is OK but you have to break it and only use a small piece of it to look at the little good things that happened in your life that made you what you are today. BUT forward you must go because today is the first day of the rest of you life.
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  greendawn

  Looking back won't be of any benefit but it is rather a regressive attitude it's better to look forward and especially for someone that has plenty of life ahead. Just right the past down to experience and move on seeing it as a passing phase of life.
• 

  ush419

  All of the above.
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  jillbedford

  If you don't look back and take lessons from what has happened, you can not acheive the resolution that you need.

  You can not look forward without taking into account the past as well. I take so much comfort in the serenity prayer, as hokie as it is. The line about the courage to change the things that you can and not worry about what you can't change.

  Here is the whole prayer:

  God grant me the serenity
  to accept the things I cannot change;
  courage to change the things I can;
  and wisdom to know the difference.

  Living one day at a time;
  Enjoying one moment at a time;
  Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
  Taking, as He did, this sinful world
  as it is, not as I would have it;
  Trusting that He will make all things right
  if I surrender to His Will;
  That I may be reasonably happy in this life
  and supremely happy with Him
  Forever in the next.
  Amen.

  --Reinhold Niebuhr