Were You Treated With Respect When Counseled By The Elders? (page 2)

AuldSoul

I was not verbally abused, if that's what you are getting at. But "respected?" Far from it. They probably thought they did a great job of "demonstrating" ("to show, to display, to make a show of") the fruitage of the spirit in their discussions with me.

When I ask for a Scriptural reason for seeing things the way the Governing Body actively teaches, and actively requires other JWs to teach, and an elder tells me that they aren't going to discuss it with me ... well, however kindly they may say it, can it be called respect?

I don't think so.

No, I was not treated with respect when counseled by the elders. I was treated as a scary, unpredictable, delusional, bi-polar (my dad actually believed I was bi-polar) nut case. I was encouraged by my brother-in-law (Service Overseer) to "Just shut up about it." I was told no action need be taken as long as I stopped sharing these questions with other people.

In other words, pretend to believe what you KNOW is a lie and you can keep talking to your family. Sound like respect?

I don't think so.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Not really. I remember one time I was being counselled by an elder for a talk I had given. I disagreed with his counsel, and when he realized I wasn't about to back down, he said "sister ... that is MY view, and so be it." That was the LAST talk I ever gave in the theocratic ministry school.

WTWizard

I don't call it respect when they collude with the hounder-hounder to get the sisters to reject me at a$$emblies, and then tell me to just meet other men. And then they wonder why my meeting attendance started to suck, and my service time dropped from the area of 10-15 hours a month to one hour, and then to zilch.

Nor do I think they have it together when it comes to biology and physics. They expect you to control every body function as if you could, even where laws of physics would be violated or you are being asked to do something that is biologically impossible. They don't realize that, just because you can pioneer on paper, doesn't mean that you should nor that you can in real life. And all the stupid dress codes--white dress shirt with a dark suit, dry cleaning every week, top button done up in very hot weather, shoes that are free of scuff marks (where are you to find the time to polish shoes with all the service time you are supposed to do?), not playing on the ice (they would rather I be caught off guard and fall: then they could hound me for having a "dirty" suit--and I wasn't unduly worried about the safety aspect beyond the having to get back up).

The "counsel" on talks was even worse. We originally had one conductor that liked to mark everyone with W's, but at least he was just being strict. Others were more inclined to give people G's, but used the Theocraptic Misery School as an occasion to force me to pretend to be happy. This was so that they could keep on setting me up for lifelong celibacy and getting me to do more than myself plus kids in an attempt to misapply a scripture about people being better than kids. The W's I got because the bar was high for everyone were easier to take than the ones I got because they wanted to force me to accept a situation that they either created or aggravated and exploited, that was blatantly unacceptable. And they wonder why I blew off the last talk I got assigned.

truthseeker

No - I was ignored, spoken to harshly.

One elder actually threatened to come round my house and assault me.

calico

One time we had elders come over because we were having a fight. I guess we thought it would help. I don't remember the reason for the fight but I do remember that sex came up. I never got any 'cause my husband would rather do it to himself. So one of the elders put the blame on me--that I must not be good enough for my husband! I'm not sure what he based that comment on----his own experience?

golf2

When they began to think for me, I was gone and so was my wife ! I never looked back.

Golf

Were You Treated With Respect When Counseled By The Elders?