You Are Much Too Harsh About The Watchtower Society (page 3)

AWAKE&WATCHING

I think they are too harsh with you. The brainwashing is amazing, I can't believe I used think that was showing loyalty.

I liked what journey on said. I'd go with the second choice.

PEC

((((((Wanderer))))))

Never give up, they may wake up one day and and want their child back.

Philip

Elsewhere

Here is a letter I wrote to my parents... perhaps you can glean some ideas:

[Parent's Names]
I am writing to let you know that I find your actions to be very confusing. I have been trying to understand why you would spend years shunning me, only to call me from time to time wanting to know why I am not in your life and to tell me that you miss me.
The answer to the question of why I am not in your life is very simple: You are shunning me. You have rejected me and pushed me out of your life. If you miss me, it is a result of your own actions, not mine. I terminated my association with a publishing corporation in New York. Are you really unable to see in your mind the difference between a publishing corporation and yourself?
You have always been the ones to shun me. I spent four years trying to keep a relationship with you only to be repeatedly turned away. You even ejected me from [Sister]'s wedding after inviting me. On top of that I was not even notified of [Brother]’s wedding until well after the fact. These are very hurtful things that you have done to me. Do you really believe that you will “win me over” by treating me in such an abusive manner?
I keep trying to understand your actions and motives, but I am still at a loss. You tell me that you miss me, but then you “slap” me. You say that you strongly support everyone’s right to freedom of religion and speech, even bragging about all of the court cases won by the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses in support of these rights. However, when I attempt to exercise these very same rights that your organization fought for, I am instantly rejected and shunned. This is very confusing to me, not to mention hypocritical.
I would love to be a part of your life and see everyone I grew up with and be a part of family gatherings. All you have to do is stop shunning and pushing me away. All you have to do is respect my right to freedom of religion and speech, the very same rights you fight for and enjoy. Do you seriously believe these rights belong only to you? I respect everyone’s right to enjoy these freedoms and have relationships with many people of all sorts of faith and those of no faith. We all may have different views and beliefs, but we all still enjoy each other’s company and friendship and respect each other’s unique beliefs. Over time I have come to see many of them as my new family since being rejected by you.
Basically it all comes down to this: Stop shunning me, or stop asking me why I am not in your life and telling me that you miss me. Doing both at the same time really is quite absurd. It is all up to you. Will you continue discriminating against me because my beliefs regarding religion are different from yours, while at the same time crying foul about discrimination against Jehovah’s Witnesses? Do you see my point? You cannot cry foul when you see discrimination against you while at the same time discriminating against your very own son. I am amazed you did not know this.
I know that you think that your act of persecuting me is by divine commission, but you must remember, the Catholics, Protestants, Moslems, and all of the other religions that are behind the persecution of Jehovah’s Witnesses also sincerely believe that they are acting of divine commission too! You have nothing over them. You are guilty of the same thing they are guilty of. Do not presume to think that Jehovah’s Witnesses are the only religion that experiences this persecution… all of these religions conspire to persecute each other and anyone else who is different from themselves. The only way this cycle of persecution will end is if we all learn to respect each other’s differences and each other’s right to the freedoms of religion and speech and conscience.
As I said before, I would love to be a part of your lives, but it is you who are pushing me away and punishing me because I am different from you. I did not leave you… you shunned me. All I did was share with you my beliefs, the very same thing Jehovah’s Witnesses pride themselves in doing and even consider to be their responsibility before their god. How can you condemn me for doing the very same thing you are doing?
I remember when I was growing up I was always being told stories about how Jehovah’s Witnesses have been threatened, even with their lives, if they did not renounce their faith as Jehovah’s Witnesses. The stories would speak of how wrong it is for people to discriminate, harass and threaten people simply because their beliefs are different from the beliefs of other people. What you have done to me is no different. You have informed me that unless I renounce everything I believe in and join your religion, you will shun and reject me.
The next time the Watchtower Society tells you about any persecution or abuse that Jehovah’s Witnesses are experiencing around the world, I want you to stop and think about how you are persecuting me and shunning me because I am not a member of your religion.
What you are doing to me is wrong and you know it is wrong. This is why it hurts you so much to do it. If it was not wrong you would find great pleasure in your shunning of me.
Sincerely,
[Elsewhere]

Well, let's see. I was in a similar situation when I first became a witness...just in reverse. My parents were pretty pissed off at first. But with time, they realized I was living a basically normal life and that, being the good parents that they were, they couldn't pretend their son didn't exist and tried very hard to compromise their beliefs to accomodate ours. We just never talked about spiritual/religious things and never got together on holidays.

I received a veritable Prodigal son's welcome (minus the animal slaughter, Crumpet) when I announced to them I left the witnesses. I felt so bad about how they must have felt all those years...as if I had walked out on them, and they never understood it. Now it's all water under the bridge. They just wanted a normal family again, and I'm helping that happen now.

So I know the flip side of all this. It probably doesn't help much, though.

Using that experience, my advice would be to give it some time. Maybe the parents will come around to accepting the child's decision and be a family again...just minus the spiritual/religious discussion and the holiday stuff. It's better than nothing.

White Dove

Don't EVER try to blackmail me or put me on a guilt trip! That is NOT what faith in God is supposed to be about, and Jesus never shunned anyone, not even the Pharisees.

eclipse

I loved Elsewhere's letter and White Dove's response.

journey-on

Elsewhere,

Did your letter have any effect???

WRJ

Hi Everyone,

Im new to this forum, but not to the topic at hand.

It's unfortunate, but the situation is not that easily solved, if this letter is real then right now you are experiencing too many confused emotions, and frankly you need time to think things through yourself. For starters your parents have thier viewpoint deeply embeded in thier minds and wont give you what you are yearning for NOW - acceptance/love. You need to accept and understand that. They have had thier minds molded in one direction only and are incapable of allowing any thoughts that may allow "Satan" to corrupt thier "God given judgement". Dont even try to change that for them, like any addiction they need to break out of thier trained minds themselves.

My advice is to concentrate on YOU. You can weather any storm if your mind is at peace with your decisions, but right now your probably experiencing feelings of guilt and shame, 2 extremely powerful emotions that have been trained into you by the society, they still have power over you. You need to combat that first. You need to give yourself time to stand on your own instead of seeking your parents and "Jehovahs'/ the society's" acceptance. You've been attached to that drug (JW faith) for too long and you still yearn for it now dont you?

In short the journey from here is what will give you strength, and use this time to reeducate yourself about the society's doctrines and see them for what they are. Once you have come to that realization you will be able to comprehend exactly why your folks are doing what they are and you will be able to approach them as a strong and understanding human who is free to love them without the restrictions they currently have. Be courageous, and know you are not alone. You will see them again and your life is precious. Don't give up!

bigdreaux

welcome to the site WRJ, man good post right out the gate.

The wanderer

Dear WRJ:

Thank you for trying to solve this issue. The
first letter was hypothetical it did not happen
to me.

The second letter written by elsewhere was real.

Welcome to the Board!

Respectfully,

The Wanderer

You Are Much Too Harsh About The Watchtower Society