Gratitude for shunning?

JK666

Hi,

We have all seen the negatine aspects of the JW's shunning DA/DF people. I have experienced the hardship emotionally of being cut off from friends and family that are still in the organization. I do not minimize how much this hurts.

But . . .

This also has been a positive in some aspects. I have an older sister and BIL that are "Grade A 100% FDA Certified Ring Muscle." I NEVER have to have anything to do with them - ever again! I do not have to feel guilty for not inviting them to something - because they are just imperfect brothers and sisters. I have cut them off like a wart on my a$$.

And all of the inane elders that caused me so much pain and suffering over the years are history forever! It doesn't make up for all of the losses, but it takes some of the sting out of it.

Just a thought about how you can find gratitude in bad things.

JK

AWAKE&WATCHING

I am a firm believer in "Attitude is Everything".

We can't control the crazy things they do and the way they treat us.

But...we can be thankful that it has limits and that we are out.

sweet pea

Well said JK.

You've just reminded me of a few my life is definitely better off without.

And who says apostates are just negative all the time?

SP (of the 'its still very raw this losing all your friends' class)

AK - Jeff

Conversely Jk, I gained my sister when I left. She was 'out' before me, and though I sought to be 'non-judgmental' of her choice, we were more alienated than was comfortable.

Now - we share the common bond of apostasy. I have lost some too of course. But there are positives.

Maybe someday we can welcome your sister and BIL to the 'real world' - who knows. I always kinda liked 'em.

Jeff

lawrence

Oh yeah! As my grandad would say about certain family and "friends" - river, stay away from my doorstep!

JK666

Jeff,

I know them better than you, trust me on this one!!!

I enjoyed meeting your family at ApostaGolf 2007. Lets see if we can do something big for 2008.

JK

ex-nj-jw

My theory is - they obviously was never really my friends and if family can cut you off because a book publishing company says so, then to hell with them too!

nj

manhasbecomelikeoneofus

this may sound weird...but i envy your being shunned. the one jw rule my parents did not follow was to shun me when i left, although the threat was ever-present when i was a child. they chose to continue contact which was nothing but slow torture. being in their company was a constant barrage of dirty looks, silent treatment and pained expressions punctuated with screams of what a horrible sinful ungrateful heatrtbreaking son i was. after fifteen years of dreading the phone ringing and many attempts at honesty and forgiveness my breaking point came at my grandmothers funeral when an uncle, in front of many people, came over and shook my hand and loudly declared what a disapointment i was to everyone. i had had enough of the emotional abuse and disfellowshipped them. motherly pleading and sibling rage followed but i stuck to my principals and mourned the loss of my family. it was not easy and i still resent being forced to do their dirty work for them, but much counseling and serious self-reflection has gradually brought me the peace that i craved my whole life. i guess my point is that leaving the cult is horrible no matter how it plays out but i can understand a sense of gratitude for your family having the rocks to just shut up and let you get on with your life.

greendawn

Getting away from such tightly mind controlled venomous creatures is something positive, there are plenty of people in the world one can associate with, the JWs are not the only ones on this earth.

Quandry

My husband and I were told that we were "causing divisions" by not being "friends" with men who told my sixteen year old daughter that she was filth in God's eyes and would burn in the fire with the devil and his angels at Armageddon.

With "friends" like them, who needs enemies?

Gratitude for shunning?

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