How to nullify Scriptural Reason For Remarriage

by Kent 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Kent

  This cuote is from the Letter To Bodies of Elders of May 15. 1988
  

  What is acceptable evidence of Scriptural freedom to remarry? Hearsay or strong suspicion that one's mate
  committed adultery is not sufficient; the evidence must be conclusive. Bear in mind also that resumption of sex
  relations after learning of the wrongdoing always constitutes forgiveness. nullifying such as a basis for
  Scriptural divorce.--See W81 3/1 301; W68 255-6; ks81 168-9.

  So, considered the 2 or three witnesses, you can just tell the elders your spose had sex with you then and then, and their "scriptural basis" dissappears as a fart in the horizon!

  You can even rape your spouse - as long as there isn't more than one watching you!

  Cute arrangement!

  It's more easy if the JW is married to a non-JW. Then the double standards are striking:

  If an unbelieving mate privately confesses adultery (porneia) to his Christian mate, the innocent one may
  choose to give the elders a signed statement to that effects indicating that he or she has not extended forgiveness
  and wishes to end the marriage Scripturally and legally. The elders will consider whether they can accept the
  statement. leaving the matter between the innocent mate and Jehovah. --See W77 607-8.

  Yakki Da

  Kent

  I need more BOE letters, KMs and other material. Those who can send it to me - please do! The new section will be interesting!!

  Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
  http://watchtower.observer.org
• 

  LDH

  the evidence must be conclusive

  Which is exactly why you have the Keystone Cops following people around and stalking them! That's right, your Christian conscience isn't enough, dammit, show me pictures!

  Lisa
• 

  joelbear

  The really bizarre part of the article is the fact that having sex with your cheating partner, even once, and you renig your opportunity to get away from them, since you have "forgiven" them.

  Twilight Zone type hugs

  Joel
• 

  Stealth

  The whole concept that SEX = FORGIVENESS is not supported anywhere in the bible, or by the most basic logic.

  Forgiveness is the letting go of resentment. Both of these feelings and emotions come from the heart. Sex is a biological act.

  Does a rapist love his victim because he has sex with them?
  Does the victim forgive the rapist because they had sex?
  If I have sex with a prostitute does that mean I love her?

  Forgiveness is much like love; it must come from the heart, not the genitals. If you read about forgivness in the insight on the scriptures it never mentions SEX. They are not related.

  Not only is this policy not bible based, it is actually a trump card that the WTS uses against a very clear scripture at Matthew 19:9

  I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.

  Here Jesus gives the only grounds for divorce as adultery. He never said unless you have sex then it does not apply.

  Another man made rule designed to keep people trapped in unhappy marriages.
• 

  treeny

  Actually JB, That all depends on who you are. I experienced this same thing yrs ago with my ex who was an Elder's son. I couldn't take the abuse any longer. He was a an ogar, and a pervert. While staying with my mother after 2 weeks I had my elder's meeting and decided to let him off the hook to remarry scripturally by telling them I had an affair with someone. If only I had it to do all over again. Not only had he been cheating on me all along, but we decided to work it out and reconcile our problems. Needless to say I went home and we had sex that night. The next morning he decided it was over and kicked me out. His father being an Elder told him you can't do that cause you forgave her by having sex. Well, I got disfellowshipped, his father pleaded his case and they decided he didn't know any better. So basically he got a freebie before we broke up. At that time I still believed it was the "truth" so I got myself reinstated. Woah !! How out of place I felt. Glad to be rid of the mind control. Take care,
  terry
• 

  bluesapphire

  Yeah Kent you're right about the double standards with unbelieving mates.

  In my case I found a credit card with a charge to a motel on it. The elders said I had grounds. But I wanted to make sure because he said he went there to party.

  So I waited a few months and there were more charges at the same hotel. So I went to the hotel and the guy said he payed the rent for some girl. So the elders said this is really enough and to write a letter. Even though he flatly denied any sexual contact.

  If he had been an elder, they would have said, "Well, are there two witnesses...." Lucky for me he wasn't a dub!
• 

  Ranchette

  Kent,
  I always had a problem with this idiotic rule!
  sex =sex
  sex=comfort
  sex=escape
  sex=fun

  sex probably = alot of things but it does not =forgivness,unless your counting temporary forgiveness in minutes!

  Couples going through issues of infidelity are on an emotional rollercoaster.They even act crazy sometimes.
  It is so cruel for them to make stupid rules like this,they have no right either.

  I am thrilled you are getting these Body of Elder letters.
  The cong. has a right to know all the rules and loopholes.
  Keep up the good work.

  Ranchette
• 

  SixofNine

  God this used to make me want to scream. Hey, cool, it still does!

  AAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

  In case your wondering which aspect makes me want to scream.... all of them, but particularly the sex=forgiveness part.

  And the rediculous power elders have over deciding whether to "believe" sex happened or not...; why is their "belief" more important than the person who actually has to live with the consequences?????

  I mean, sure, anal sex is a very legitimate form of sex for many people, but I just don't think the fact that elders are required to have their thumbs up their asses to do their job makes them truly qaulified to make all sorts of "sex" decisions for the flock.
• 

  SixofNine

  Besides, common sense tells you that the standard should at least be that you can have sex with your cheating spouse up to and including (1)less time than the number of times they cheated.

  right? ;-)
• 

  Vitameatavegamin

  This reasoning reeks! I knew a sister a few years back that was single and had 2 kids. She wanted to get married in the worst way. Well, the local elders told her she had to have proof that her ex-husband was having sex with his girlfriend(she was wordly when she was divorced and later became a JW) Anyway, she had to make a 3 hour drive to where she used to live and have a "stakeout" of his house. She sat all day and all night watching his home. Well, she claims she saw a woman at his home all night. So, I guess they told her that was grounds enough, I don't know. I can't believe that they would put this poor woman through this. I personally think given the circumstances, why question it any further? It is so stupid, all these rules. Who comes up with this stuff anyway??

  Thanks!