Today was rather a beautifully balmy hot summers day in the UK and I decided to take the babies to the park with a non JW friend of mine (let's call her Y).
As I arrived in the park I caught sight of my best JW friend (let's call her X), one of the many who has decided she wants nothing more to do with me or my family.
I went to meet up with Y and X walked straight past me with a quick flick round , obviously to check my babies out! But not a word to me.
By this time I was feeling very sick and starting to shake. Ridiculous I know.
Y and I went to the main part of the park and sat down.
X returned but made no attempt to even acknowledge me although we were sat a stone's throw away (my first official incidence of 'Shunning').
I decided that I couldn't sit there and ignore my best friend who'd I been in contact almost every day with up until the last 4 months.
I went over to her, put my arm around her and told her I loved her. She said (in a very tense and strained way) "I love you too, you know". I resisted the attempt to tell her she had a funny way of showing it. I tried to keep a conversation going but as you can imagine it was like getting blood out of a stone. So I left her to it. She cut a sad figure sitting alone, looking after her children (who were delighted to be able to play with my babies although when they first came over they looked very awkward and didn't say much - anyone care to hazzard a guess as to what their parents have said as to why we don't go to the meetings anymore? I can just imagine - "they don't love Jehovah anymore so we don't love them anymore...) and a friend's child. A few months ago her and I would've been sitting there laughing and joking. Instead I was with someone else and she is not in my life anymore.
From feeling extremely nervous, sad and sick I went to feeling liberated somehow. It doesn't take the pain away but it makes you feel so much better when you are not playing their stupid games and you are able to show them what love really is. Perhaps next time I'll be able to say something more honest than "how's the family", but then again, there's probably not much point. I kind of feel I have achieved some sort of closure after the last heated exchange we had.
I would love to be a fly on the wall in her house tonight, but most of all in her heart/head. Cognitive dissonance must be killing her.
Thanks for listening.
Shunned in the Park...
by sweet pea 32 Replies latest jw experiences
-
sweet pea
-
AlphaOmega
Wow...
Well done for being able to pluck up the courage to break through her self imposed barrier !
Who knows what you have left ticking away insider her head now ?
AO
-
Dragonlady76
((((sweet pea)))))
You did a courgeous thing.
-
Dragonlady76
((((sweet pea)))))
You did a courgeous thing.
-
Gill
You don't have to play their silly little games.
You're Free and they are Slaves!
You get the last laugh! If they shun YOU it only hurts THEM! Always acknowlege them, smile and Wave!n If they ignore you, their punishment is their guilt and pain which they DO feel, even if they deny it!
-
Crumpet
I am so proud of you honey. You really are such a special person - what you did was lovely. It may be the last memory you have of each other (although I really hope not) and you know you can walk away from that one head held high.
Let me figure out my study schedule for the next month and then maybe I can come and have an afternoon in the park with you guys one Saturday or Sunday. I have some raspberry on tummy blowing to catch up on!
(((((sweetpea - you are the bomb)))))
-
unique1
Sorry for all the hurt you felt, but way to step above it. You are better than I.
-
journey-on
You made her blink.
Something similar happened to me at a restaurant last week. She tried to do the "oh, I didn't see you" routine, but I made her blink. I will not allow it, but, like you, my heart beat faster and my palms felt sweaty. But I made her look at me and.....SHE BLINKED!!! Gosh, that felt good.
-
BluesBrother
In my experience, dubs do not want to shun others,( unless there is a personal reason) but they have to, or face the consequences. They also have a conscience that tells them that it is the wrong thing to do and "Jehovah would be very displeased with them".
So they do - and tell themselves that they are disciplining you into coming back.
She said (in a very tense and strained way) "I love you too, you know".
I am sure that she meant it.
As Gill said, they are the slaves we are the free - let them be ..
-
journey-on
Jehovah would be very displeased with them".
That reminds me...My husband, who is not and never has been a JW, laughed and said: "What does she have to do now, go say ten Hail Marys or something?"