by exwitless 18 Replies latest social humour
Sympathy - So sorry to hear of your recent imprisonment at Bethel. But hey, we all need to pay our debts to our Society. Looking forward to your impending release.
Birthday - You thought this was a birthday card and you opened it? Apostate! (This card is equipped with a microchip that just informed your elders of your actions, you have been dissassociated)
mene mene, actually, if your friend is a female with a brain, they probably will have her scrubbing toilets, just to keep her subjective.
Thanx ExW!
You, Dear Publisher, are a highly valued statistic!
Kindly fill in the blank with your 5 minutes of service
time for the month and press SUBMIT. Do not be
afraid: the net is no longer evil as we have new light
on credit card donations. Jehovah appreciates what-
ever time you can devote to Kingdom interests and
we, the Billion Dollar Borg, appreciate your cash
advance [sorry about the fees and interest!].
Your loving brothers from Brooklyn.
CoCo
OutnFree: Used your suggestion to create card. It's fun to poke fun but at the same time so many people are hurt because of the witness mindset.
GuestWithQuestions:
You are a master greeting card designer! LOL!!! Thank you.
Front: "Merry Memorial Jehovah's Witnesses from your worldly friend!"
Inside: "Have fun not eating bread and not drinking wine!!!"
Front: (picture of graciously smiling elderly lady) "The widow's contribution truly was the greatest of all..."
Inside: "... just kidding! Looking forward to when you complete your special pioneer hours!!!"
Front: (picture of current covention logo + theme) "Important message directly from the Governing Body to all of Jehovah's Witnesses: This Statement is False"
Inside: "Joking! Just wanted to see if your head would explode! Have a great convention!"
Musicman
to the tune of the Volga Boatmen:
no more birthdays
no special-you-days
so much evil in the air
people sinning everywhere
armageddon's really near
don't do that birthday!
Very clever people here. I've long thought that there should be a line of greeting cards for jw's but never took time to come up with a few to show off. I'm glad that someone else thought of it too and got the ball rolling 'cause it's a goshdurn good idea and just chock full of humor potential. :)
Cover: Congratulations on becoming an elder!
Inside: This card is meant to be given to your wife.
Cover: In times of need when you are feeling down.....
Inside: Where's your field service report?
Cover: Happy Memorial
Inside: The only celebration that you are permitted to have.
