do i go with my gut instinct???(long, im sorry, but i need help)

by theinfamousone 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Es

  unfortunately def sounds suspicious.. :( other than confronting her which you have done im not sure there is much more u can do than to end it :(

  all the best

  es
• 

  RAF

  Well if you are not acting in a very awful jaleous way (without the condoms story - I would say that it could be a rellelion reaction from her - and even the condom story would have a reason) but if not Ditto JG :

  Either she is cheating on you or else she doesnt give a flip about your concerns.

  It's not about money, it's about respect and true love (and the way it is you ain't going nowhere good - but crazy)

  Set you free.
  Take care anyway.
  A good man deserve a nice woman (vice and versa).
• 

  cognizant dissident

  Sorry, InfamousOne, it doesn't look good.

  You are such an awesome guy. It is obvious you love her to have put up with as much as you have. If you need proof positive then come home early and surprise her or have a friend or PI follow her on one of her trips. Taking the condoms to Cuba shows "intent" imo. There are plenty of hunky Cuban men who want to hook up with Americans and Canadians to get a ticket out of the country. It is a pretty well known scenario down there.

  Hopefully, having such a bad experience at such a young age won't sour you off women permanently. She may be beautiful and sweet but she doesn't show much respect or depth of character. Why doesn't she work? Is she healthy? In school? There are lots of beautiful and sweet girls (with character and respect added) that would love to have a catch like you. The sooner you move on, then the sooner you will find her.

  Cog
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I know there is her side to this story, yours might be biased way too much
  for true accurate opinions on what she is up to, but she is definitely just
  using you for the place to stay. Whatever else is irrelevant, as she doesn't
  have your best interests in mind.

  Even if your bias is way off, then you can never trust her. If it's right on, then
  you shouldn't trust her. MOVE ER OUT of your life.
• 

  Stealth453

  My gut feelings tell me that you have a problem on your hands. Sorry to say mate, but I think you need to cut this one loose. I had a similar experience many years ago, and although at the time I didn't want to face it, the girl I was engaged to, was screwing everything that walked, including my partner.

  Shakespeare said it best...."me thinks (s)he protesteth too much".

  I would cut my losses and run. Sorry mate for the pain that you must be feeling. if I can be of any assistance, please pm me.

  Stealth
• 

  MidwichCuckoo

  Infamousone, if you don't want to confront her - and it doesn't look like you'd get any peace of mind from/believe her answers..you know what I'd do?...

  She lives with you, and doesn't answer the phone between 6-8pm...I'd call her at 6pm (on both phones to make sure), and when she didn't answer, go home and see if she's there...stay home up till about 8pm, then leave and return as normal just after 9pm....THEN ask her where she was around 7-8pm...and THEN you'll know for sure.
• 

  Brigid

  Yes, you go with your gut. I know it will be difficult. Please don't let her explosions deter you. That is the sign of a very unstable ego. Even if it were all completely innocent (doubtful from the story you told), someone who truly loves you will respect that you are afraid, and vulnerable and needing answers. Even if they're silly questions (which they are not), it's more about her reaction to your fear and pain that concerns me, hon.

  You must feel emotionally safe with someone you love. It doesn't sound like you do. You should be able to express anything about how you are feeling and not be "blown up at" or made to feel she will abandon you.

  I know you are "in love". I know. But love yourSelf first and foremost. You deserve better treatment.

  Love and Light,

  ~Brigid
• 

  nvrgnbk

  Instinct.

  A man's best friend.
• 

  Anony-Mouse

  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt....but everyone here seems to think she's up to no good.
  
  I think so too. But I wouldn't just kick her out.
  
  I'm a fan of the direct approach. I hate going behind backs to find out what someone is doing. But the direct approach led nowhere for you. Showing up early means you might find her in the middle of something you won't like. If you can deal with that, that's what I'd do.
  
  Just stay calm if there's a guy there. I think you can get in trouble if you beat someone up, even in that situation.
  
  But I'm no lawyer....
• 

  daystar

  I might suggest that the next time she makes one of these excursions that you insist that you go with her. One of two things might happen:

  1. She is outraged that you insist on going with her. She utterly and vehemently refuses, makes all sorts of rationales as to why she must go alone, or at least, not with you.
  2. She allows you to go, but strange things happen. The people act weirdly around you. And she may even leave you there for an extended period of time, uncomfortable and alone. Or, she stays, but you see her acting overly friendly with some guy "friend" and leaves you in a corner alone.

  But, dude, she went to Cuba with her sister, took your box of condoms, without even so much as mentioning it to you, and returns, with the empty box!! What juevos! If her sister needed condoms... why did her sister not, you know, buy some condoms herself. Why would your girlfriend take yours?

  I'm sorry, but I suspect she's taking you for a ride and seriously disrespecting you on the way.

  It could be innocent, but doubtful. In either case, you need to confront her about it, calmly. If she has something to hide, expect her to become outraged. If it is innocent, her conscience will be clean and she will simply explain. She won't stutter. Watch her body language.