by Paralipomenon 15 Replies latest jw friends
People can be so wonderful! I'm glad you two have such great support. One thing that makes fading easier is to make friendships on the way out so you don't feel so isolated at first.
As for celebrating holidays, you can make your own traditions as you go. Your neighbors are experienced. Your concerns about going overboard are legitimate: I've seen it happen.
Regards,
SandraC
I have met so many great worldly people. I admit, I sometimes feel out of place with them, like I don't know how to relate and make friends like a normal person.
With the holidays, I started small. I gave Christmas cards and a little stocking stuffer to everyone in my meditation group. They knew it was my first Christmas and were very appreciative. My son and I exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve. We went out for a Christmas dinner at a restaurant on Christmas day. One of the highlights was on Christmas Eve a family of carolers came to our door and serenaded me! It was utterly charming. I didn't know what I was supposed to do though, except clap when they were done. I didn't have any Christmas cookies or candy canes in the house for the kids. Holidays for Dummies would have been helpful. Next year, I plan to be prepared so I hope they come back!
Also, this summer, instead of my annual JW barbecue, I invited everyone in my meditation group over for dinner. It was the first time I ever hand non-witnesses (except my aunt) over for dinner. I couldn't believe how nervous I was. It was the only dinner party I ever had where no-one got drunk, hit on some one else's spouse, or started preaching or arguing. How was I supposed to know if they were having a good time! Very strange! Yeah, those worldly people are sooo badly behaved!
Cog
Her experience with neighbors mirrors mine. My next door neighbor during the beginning of my fade became like a sister and still is. I told her I didn't know how to make friends and she told me I WAS a friend and doing just fine. My coworkers were close, too, helping me through a divorce after 26 years and getting on my own feet. They were my sisters through those couple of years and I made a point to tell my mom and sisters that. None of my family in the "truth" bothered to see if the kids or I needed anything through those difficult times.
Wonderful!
I had a similar experience. Neighbors, co-workers, strangers seem to come out of the woodwork during my troubled time. Out of the blue, and I mean BLUE, I was contacted from Classmates.com by a girl I went to Junior High with. We weren't even good friends, and I go a different name. I ended up going to a class renunion with people I didn't even graduate with. And we've remained friends.
The proverbial saying "when one door closes another one opens" is really true if you let it happen.
Hi!
It is difficult to do Christmas for the first time. When I first went out to buy christmas decorations (7 years ago) I felt as if I was doing something really awful! But it isn't awful. It is fun and the best thing is being able to join in with others when they are making christmas plans.
I have made it my own tradition to make a proper christmas pudding (with real ale!).
And with regard to your query about whether or not to DA yourself - I honestly wouldn't bother. By making the statement to the elders that you want to DA yourself, you are giving them a power that actually doesn't exist. They have no judicial authority over you at all. The "power" they think they have over you is just in their head (and in the pages of the Watchtower, but we know how well they shred don't we??!!)
Just walk away from it and straight to your local Christmas tree farm! Enjoy!
Enjoying freedom
Congratulations on your spouse seeing the Light about the WTBTS!!!
Here is a link that you may find useful in explaining the twisted Watchtower Society doctrines and diatribes against Christianity:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia
Compare that information with what the Watchtower says and your spouse may just decide to tell her family about some of the things she has learned:
August 15, 1981 Watchtower magazine article
Serving Jehovah "Shoulder To Shoulder"
Pages 28-29 paragraph 14
They say that it is sufficient to read the Bible exclusively, either alone or in small groups at home. But, strangely, through such ‘Bible reading,’ they have reverted right back to the apostate doctrines that commentaries by Christendom’s clergy were teaching 100 years ago, and some have even returned to celebrating Christendom’s festivals again, such as the Roman Saturnalia of December 25! Jesus and his apostles warned against such lawless ones.
lovely, I'm so glad for you both.
